Hush Quickly
I've never been one to take many vows, but when I do I have held fast to them. Lately I've been toying with the idea of fasting and of taking a vow of silence. Fasting for a few reasons; I'm quickly running out of money to spend on silly luxury items(like food). Also it would be used as a way of purifying my body along with my mind. I became interested in the idea over the summer after a friend recommended I read a book on shamans and meditations of the Celts of old Ireland, one of my home-lands, along with a few other things I've read on the topic. Now the idea of not eating for five or six days doesn't really bother me on it's own, the only thing I'm worried about is the lack of nutrition and energy. I need to have at least enough energy to make it to class and just enough to learn a thing or two so I can pass exams. I highly doubt I would have the willpower to make that happen without the aid of a few carbs or proteins here and there. So that idea seems a bit far-fetched for the time being.
That brings me to the next vow, Silence. Anyone who knows me knows the obvious difficulty of such an endeavor. This idea came up from a lifetime of putting my foot in my mouth, speaking out of turn, misinterpreted points and a general feeling of weakness in the fact that I have to talk to people or I feel lonely. The more I chew on the idea the more it appeals to me. The more I start to realize that in saying many things, I say nothing. I also began to realize that most of the things I said were only said out of a feeling of discomfort caused by silence, which to me, seems silly and weak. But with silence comes the lack of communication between me and the world and at times that could present an obvious problem. The biggest issue would be not being able to communicate with Sierra. As far as people I need to talk to, she's #1, but if I told her I'm sure she'd be cool. Also, I have a job now and I doubt they'd take any vow I take seriously and most likely fire me. I would take a few days off but that, in my financial situation, is out of the question.
So it seems I have the ability to do this, the only thing to decide now is the time. I'd hate to use a vacation that I could spend having a well-deserved good time as a period of silent starvation. Everybody knows I have an issue with procrastinating and I don't want that to stop me. 'Waiting 'til a better time' is something I do far too often these days and I'm starting to feel the pressure that it has brought about. Le sigh.
In other news, I've decided to lay off pot for a while. That is to say, I wont abuse marijuana, I'll use it. As for other drugs I'm going to try them all. Yes, all. I know most people would scoff at such a remark but fuck 'em. The damage it might possibly do doesn't outweigh the altered states of consciousness that might bring upon a heightened state of awareness that I might be able to carry on into my everyday life. I'm excited to see where the "drugs" will take me. I can't explain why but I know it's a place I want to be.
I've also decided that I'm going to be Socrates for Halloween. I know, what's so scary about Socrates? Well forcing to admit that the whole way you view life has been a lie seems pretty earth-shattering for some. We'll see how that goes. The only speaking in questions thing might get me. But I'm up for the challenge. I gotta get my toga body happening.
My closing statement for this LJ post is : Love everyone, always.
That brings me to the next vow, Silence. Anyone who knows me knows the obvious difficulty of such an endeavor. This idea came up from a lifetime of putting my foot in my mouth, speaking out of turn, misinterpreted points and a general feeling of weakness in the fact that I have to talk to people or I feel lonely. The more I chew on the idea the more it appeals to me. The more I start to realize that in saying many things, I say nothing. I also began to realize that most of the things I said were only said out of a feeling of discomfort caused by silence, which to me, seems silly and weak. But with silence comes the lack of communication between me and the world and at times that could present an obvious problem. The biggest issue would be not being able to communicate with Sierra. As far as people I need to talk to, she's #1, but if I told her I'm sure she'd be cool. Also, I have a job now and I doubt they'd take any vow I take seriously and most likely fire me. I would take a few days off but that, in my financial situation, is out of the question.
So it seems I have the ability to do this, the only thing to decide now is the time. I'd hate to use a vacation that I could spend having a well-deserved good time as a period of silent starvation. Everybody knows I have an issue with procrastinating and I don't want that to stop me. 'Waiting 'til a better time' is something I do far too often these days and I'm starting to feel the pressure that it has brought about. Le sigh.
In other news, I've decided to lay off pot for a while. That is to say, I wont abuse marijuana, I'll use it. As for other drugs I'm going to try them all. Yes, all. I know most people would scoff at such a remark but fuck 'em. The damage it might possibly do doesn't outweigh the altered states of consciousness that might bring upon a heightened state of awareness that I might be able to carry on into my everyday life. I'm excited to see where the "drugs" will take me. I can't explain why but I know it's a place I want to be.
I've also decided that I'm going to be Socrates for Halloween. I know, what's so scary about Socrates? Well forcing to admit that the whole way you view life has been a lie seems pretty earth-shattering for some. We'll see how that goes. The only speaking in questions thing might get me. But I'm up for the challenge. I gotta get my toga body happening.
My closing statement for this LJ post is : Love everyone, always.