its gonna be a good day tater....

[tehshaunnanator]

so me and hedda had a meaningful conversation today - watchout now!! yah we usually have these talks at nite or whatever when both of us are too tired to even remember what the hell we talked about the next day, its amazing that they even make any sense. but today we had one during the day...it started out kinda jokin around. we got on the subject of bir thcontrol and having kids. and about how both of us were raised by young mothers, both concieved/born when our parents were 19 and 20. and how wehn our mothers actually were working and had children at this age. fucking nutts. i dont know how they managed it. i can barely take care of myself, let alone a child. i definately want to have children in teh future. key word: future. i want to make sure that im in a secure situtaion and that the child is wanted by both individuals - that way it will recieve the maximum potential from each of us. dont get me wrong i am sooo greatful for the way/enviornment that i was raised. my family means so much to me, and we are soo close. we would all gladly do anything or do as much as we can for eachother. my grandmother is my second mother, her house is my home. its probably the most comforting place that i can go wehn i am feeling down. its not teh actual place, its the people. throw jeff in to the equation and i bet i could live there forever. im an "only child" or was until olivia was born when i was...um....15? i dunno i was a freshman in hs. neways, my "uncle" tj is teh older brother i never had. he watched me every week day and continues to carry out his older brother duties for me. my cousin jess is like my older sister, because my mother would pick her up and she would spend every weekend with me, even when id go to my dads. now that she's moved to georgia, ive seen her once since then and must rely on phone and aim to talk wtih her. hanyways......the fact is, i've had like this random huge apreciation for my family today and i really realize just how LUCKY i am to be born into such an awesomly tight knit family. my family doesnt jsut end with blood relatives. i also have a fraternal twin sister, u might know her - her name is crystal williams, and i also have two other sisters - alia murphy, and anna letendre. jb i believe, is my soulmate and i love him with all of my heart and soul. he fills all empty voids in my heart, and lets me know that everything will be ok. all i need to do is think about how lucky i am when im down, or jsut simply read this if im near my computer and my mood will immediately brighten because im blessed to have such an amazing family.

i know this entry is totally random, and who cares i guess. ive been kinda down lately and this really brightened me mentally and spiritually. i now have some sort of reassurance to fall back on - and the only thing im dissappointed about is that i didnt take time to really realize this sooner. ive always known it, but never really given it the thought to really KNOW it. i hope this makes you feel good about what you have, even if you dont have much. cherish the ones you have, because when they are gone you'll never get em back.