(no subject)
Right, so I promised more boys in bands.
I think I'll amend that by saying this post is about STUPID boys in bands.
So there's this band you might've heard of called 3OH!3. They write songs about not trusting hoes. Yeah, those guys. I might have mentioned them in my ridiculously huge con report from a few weeks ago.
A lot of people hate them. There are a few reasons for this, which I will discuss:
a) Their music sucks. I will not dispute this, because it kind of does. But it sucks gloriously.
b) They're misogynistic douchebags. This I will dispute, because you CAN NOT TAKE 3OH!3 SERIOUSLY. Everything they say is one big joke. One big hilarious joke and they probably laugh themselves silly when people think they believe their own lyrics.
AND THAT IS WHY I'M HERE TODAY, TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW DORKFACED THESE DORKFACES ARE. This picspam will be split into four sections.
Section 1: SEAN FOREMAN
Sean is a kid from Boulder, Colorado. He claims he went to dance school for ten years. I am somewhat skeptical.
He's. Slightly ridiculous.
Only slightly, really.
He wants you to keep a breast!
Sometimes Sean thinks he's Frank Iero.
Everyone wants to grope Sean!
His stupid faaaace.
No seriously, he makes the cutest faces sometimes.
He also has some kind of hideous panther-in-a-headdress tattoo. Or something. It's kind of hilarious.
One recurring theme you might notice in pictures of Sean is his GODAWFUL FACIAL HAIR. Oh, and stupid outfits. Those too.
Maybe he did go to dance school!
HE'S GONNA POUR BOOZE DOWN HIS MOUTH GUYS, OKAY.
And that's Sean!
Section 2: NATHANIEL MOTTE
Nat is also from Boulder, apparently. His main functions in the band are being tall, thrusting his hips, and taking off his shirt.
And punching you out.
...And wearing terrible ponchos.
...Wearing terrible ponchos in front of their TACKY, TACKY FLAG.
Nat, dear, that's only half your symbol.
ORGASM WHISPERER. SERIOUSLY, NAT.
HOLY SHIT, RUN, GUYS. NAT HAS A HEADBAND.
So Sean makes the adorable faces, Nat makes the ridiculous pouty faces. And eats smoked meat snacks.
And that's Nat!
Section 3: NAT AND SEAN
According to Wikipedia, these two morons met at the University of Colorado. In physics class. Apparently this is how bands are formed in the mysterious lands of Colorado.
It's shoots like these that make me think they're actually trying to be Cobra Starship.
Like. Seriously, guys?
SEAN, STOP CHEWING THE SET. ALSO, SHAVE.
NO SERIOUSLY, SHAVE. LIKE, NOW.
Nat punches bitches who don't shave.
I think Sean is actually allergic to standing.
Seriously. He'll climb on top of his bandmate just to keep his feet from touching the ground.
Or HANG UPSIDE DOWN FROM A FAKE TRAIN CAR.
Or...have Nat levitate him?
Nat does not jump, however. This is because his head would hit the ceiling if he got any taller.
I would really like to know what is going on here. Oh yeah, DORKS.
See? Sean makes the cute faces, Nat makes the stupid faces. It's a symbiotic relationship. Except without the logic.
Sometimes these roles are reversed, though.
a) What is this text even, and b) OH GOD, TWO NATS AND TWO SEANS, THE WORLD IS SO FUCKED.
I'm. Not quite sure what's going on here. This happens a lot in pictures of these guys.
I'm not even going to start with this video. That's for later.
I'm kind of curious about that necklace Sean has. I think it's a dreamcatcher? That and the tat kind of make me wonder if he has Native blood in him or something. That'd be kind of neat.
Also, Nat's shirt. What.
NAT, EAT A SANDWICH. SEAN, SHAVE. SHAVE EVERYWHERE.
I know a kid at my high school who has the same haircut as Nat here. He's two years younger than me. This is sort of darling.
"LOOK, SEAN, WOLVES! LET'S CATCH SOME."
They have a thing for wolves, see. Especially wolves that shoot lasers out of their eyes.
No, seriously.
D'awww, he has dorky glasses!
Dooorks.
OH GOD THE PONCHO STRIKES AGAIN.
SEAN, YOU ARE NOT SPENCER SMITH. STOP THAT.
Much better.
...There are a lot of things I could say about this picture, but I'll just stick to "DOOOOOORKS."
I think "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN" would work too, but. Not as well.
They are so hardcore, you guys. Really.
SO VERY HARDCORE.
Hardcore like lumberjacks in goggles.
Oh, god, are we getting to the flagshirt photos?
The hideous, hideous flagshirt photos?
I really want to know who would create this shirt, and who let Sean wear it.
Okay, just drape a flag over yourself. Anything's better than the flagshirt.
Sometimes they actually pass for attractive! It's really disorienting!
Nat agrees with the Jon Walker school of shoes. Which is to say, NONE AT ALL.
The boys also agree with the Andy Mrotek school of clothes.
Nat especially disagrees with the whole "shirt" thing.
I see this picture and all I can think is "IS PETE WENTZ DESCENDING FROM THE HEAVENS?"
Sometimes, the boys hang out with Katy Perry!
Sean is not entirely pleased with this!
He's just sad because KPerry gets in the way of their manlove.
Their manlove mostly involves hanging out in bathtubs.
THEIR STUPID FACES, SERIOUSLY.
I think Sean stole Nat's hair in order to give himself a beard. GIVE IT BACK, SEAN.
Oh, hey, Nat has an actual instrument! I am impressed!
NATHANIEL MOTTE: TALLER THAN YOU, UNLESS YOU ARE RYLAND BLACKINTON.
If these morons did Grease, I would probably die laughing. Especially if they got Ke$ha in on it too.
GREASED LIGHTNING, GUYS. I've never seen Grease, I can't make any good jokes about these pictures. It's very tragic.
Nat's stupid faces sometimes reach maximum stupitude, causing such drastic effects as Sean facepalming.
I think this might be one of my favorite pictures. Nat looks attractive! Sean looks attractive! NAT HAS STUPID RED BOOTS.
...Scratch that, this is my favorite picture. Ever. SEAN.
So stupidly hardcore, guys.
Stupid stage poses are like, my favorite thing.
Well, my favorite thing that isn't stupid photoshoot poses.
Sean is cuddling his shiny. Nat wonders why he doesn't have any shinies to cuddle. I love these boys.
OKAY, FORGET EVERYTHING, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PICTURE.
Travie: PIZZA :|
Sean: PIZZA! :o
Nat: /mikeyway /clouds
I kind of want that shirt Nat's wearing. No, seriously, it's a good purple.
...Do I even have to caption these at this point.
Nat's just glaring at someone who mistook him for Ryland Blackinton. Again.
...I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE PUPPY!SEAN NOW.
...And that's my boys in a nutshell.
Section 4: MUSIC
Okay that's a misleading title, if I tried to convince you guys how great 3OH!3 was with their music then I'd never win. This section is for THEIR VIDEOS.
In which Katy Perry licks people, Nat and Sean rock some suits, and there's whistling.
This is the song everyone knows, and if you don't, you should. This is also the song that got them lots of criticism because degrading women never happens in music. I just find it really hilarious that they censor the words "Helen Keller" on the radio sometimes.
Oh also this video has wrestling and naked and buffalo-humping. YEAH.
THIS IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE VIDEO RIGHT NOW. Highlights:
-Ke$ha in gold lipstick
-Laser wolves
-Lesbian makeouts
-The line "Excuse me miss but can I get you out your panties?"
If you still think they're taking themselves seriously after this video I'm going to have to choke you with Nat's poncho. THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A HOUSE PARTY IN THEIR HOUSE, OKAY.
Section Xtra: NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE BOYS?
-Well, you can download their music. I won't tell you to buy it, necessarily, but.
-Tell your friends! Show them the videos! Get the songs stuck in their heads so they can share my pain!
-WRITE ME PORN. NO, SERIOUSLY, THESE IDIOTS NEED A FANDOM.
-Bonus points for Cobra crossover. They hung out on the Too Fast For Love tour! Nat and Ryland played minigolf together! Sean and Nate are morons! It totally works out!
AND THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD LOVE 3OH!3.
...I can't believe I just spent a whole gigantic post defending bad music.
EGGO YOU'D BETTER MAKE A KE$HA POST TO HELP VALIDATE ME. (EDIT: She did!)
I think I'll amend that by saying this post is about STUPID boys in bands.
So there's this band you might've heard of called 3OH!3. They write songs about not trusting hoes. Yeah, those guys. I might have mentioned them in my ridiculously huge con report from a few weeks ago.
A lot of people hate them. There are a few reasons for this, which I will discuss:
a) Their music sucks. I will not dispute this, because it kind of does. But it sucks gloriously.
b) They're misogynistic douchebags. This I will dispute, because you CAN NOT TAKE 3OH!3 SERIOUSLY. Everything they say is one big joke. One big hilarious joke and they probably laugh themselves silly when people think they believe their own lyrics.
AND THAT IS WHY I'M HERE TODAY, TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW DORKFACED THESE DORKFACES ARE. This picspam will be split into four sections.
Section 1: SEAN FOREMAN
Sean is a kid from Boulder, Colorado. He claims he went to dance school for ten years. I am somewhat skeptical.
He's. Slightly ridiculous.
Only slightly, really.
He wants you to keep a breast!
Sometimes Sean thinks he's Frank Iero.
Everyone wants to grope Sean!
His stupid faaaace.
No seriously, he makes the cutest faces sometimes.
He also has some kind of hideous panther-in-a-headdress tattoo. Or something. It's kind of hilarious.
One recurring theme you might notice in pictures of Sean is his GODAWFUL FACIAL HAIR. Oh, and stupid outfits. Those too.
Maybe he did go to dance school!
HE'S GONNA POUR BOOZE DOWN HIS MOUTH GUYS, OKAY.
And that's Sean!
Section 2: NATHANIEL MOTTE
Nat is also from Boulder, apparently. His main functions in the band are being tall, thrusting his hips, and taking off his shirt.
And punching you out.
...And wearing terrible ponchos.
...Wearing terrible ponchos in front of their TACKY, TACKY FLAG.
Nat, dear, that's only half your symbol.
ORGASM WHISPERER. SERIOUSLY, NAT.
HOLY SHIT, RUN, GUYS. NAT HAS A HEADBAND.
So Sean makes the adorable faces, Nat makes the ridiculous pouty faces. And eats smoked meat snacks.
And that's Nat!
Section 3: NAT AND SEAN
According to Wikipedia, these two morons met at the University of Colorado. In physics class. Apparently this is how bands are formed in the mysterious lands of Colorado.
It's shoots like these that make me think they're actually trying to be Cobra Starship.
Like. Seriously, guys?
SEAN, STOP CHEWING THE SET. ALSO, SHAVE.
NO SERIOUSLY, SHAVE. LIKE, NOW.
Nat punches bitches who don't shave.
I think Sean is actually allergic to standing.
Seriously. He'll climb on top of his bandmate just to keep his feet from touching the ground.
Or HANG UPSIDE DOWN FROM A FAKE TRAIN CAR.
Or...have Nat levitate him?
Nat does not jump, however. This is because his head would hit the ceiling if he got any taller.
I would really like to know what is going on here. Oh yeah, DORKS.
See? Sean makes the cute faces, Nat makes the stupid faces. It's a symbiotic relationship. Except without the logic.
Sometimes these roles are reversed, though.
a) What is this text even, and b) OH GOD, TWO NATS AND TWO SEANS, THE WORLD IS SO FUCKED.
I'm. Not quite sure what's going on here. This happens a lot in pictures of these guys.
I'm not even going to start with this video. That's for later.
I'm kind of curious about that necklace Sean has. I think it's a dreamcatcher? That and the tat kind of make me wonder if he has Native blood in him or something. That'd be kind of neat.
Also, Nat's shirt. What.
NAT, EAT A SANDWICH. SEAN, SHAVE. SHAVE EVERYWHERE.
I know a kid at my high school who has the same haircut as Nat here. He's two years younger than me. This is sort of darling.
"LOOK, SEAN, WOLVES! LET'S CATCH SOME."
They have a thing for wolves, see. Especially wolves that shoot lasers out of their eyes.
No, seriously.
D'awww, he has dorky glasses!
Dooorks.
OH GOD THE PONCHO STRIKES AGAIN.
SEAN, YOU ARE NOT SPENCER SMITH. STOP THAT.
Much better.
...There are a lot of things I could say about this picture, but I'll just stick to "DOOOOOORKS."
I think "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN" would work too, but. Not as well.
They are so hardcore, you guys. Really.
SO VERY HARDCORE.
Hardcore like lumberjacks in goggles.
Oh, god, are we getting to the flagshirt photos?
The hideous, hideous flagshirt photos?
I really want to know who would create this shirt, and who let Sean wear it.
Okay, just drape a flag over yourself. Anything's better than the flagshirt.
Sometimes they actually pass for attractive! It's really disorienting!
Nat agrees with the Jon Walker school of shoes. Which is to say, NONE AT ALL.
The boys also agree with the Andy Mrotek school of clothes.
Nat especially disagrees with the whole "shirt" thing.
I see this picture and all I can think is "IS PETE WENTZ DESCENDING FROM THE HEAVENS?"
Sometimes, the boys hang out with Katy Perry!
Sean is not entirely pleased with this!
He's just sad because KPerry gets in the way of their manlove.
Their manlove mostly involves hanging out in bathtubs.
THEIR STUPID FACES, SERIOUSLY.
I think Sean stole Nat's hair in order to give himself a beard. GIVE IT BACK, SEAN.
Oh, hey, Nat has an actual instrument! I am impressed!
NATHANIEL MOTTE: TALLER THAN YOU, UNLESS YOU ARE RYLAND BLACKINTON.
If these morons did Grease, I would probably die laughing. Especially if they got Ke$ha in on it too.
GREASED LIGHTNING, GUYS. I've never seen Grease, I can't make any good jokes about these pictures. It's very tragic.
Nat's stupid faces sometimes reach maximum stupitude, causing such drastic effects as Sean facepalming.
I think this might be one of my favorite pictures. Nat looks attractive! Sean looks attractive! NAT HAS STUPID RED BOOTS.
...Scratch that, this is my favorite picture. Ever. SEAN.
So stupidly hardcore, guys.
Stupid stage poses are like, my favorite thing.
Well, my favorite thing that isn't stupid photoshoot poses.
Sean is cuddling his shiny. Nat wonders why he doesn't have any shinies to cuddle. I love these boys.
OKAY, FORGET EVERYTHING, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PICTURE.
Travie: PIZZA :|
Sean: PIZZA! :o
Nat: /mikeyway /clouds
I kind of want that shirt Nat's wearing. No, seriously, it's a good purple.
...Do I even have to caption these at this point.
Nat's just glaring at someone who mistook him for Ryland Blackinton. Again.
...I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE PUPPY!SEAN NOW.
...And that's my boys in a nutshell.
Section 4: MUSIC
Okay that's a misleading title, if I tried to convince you guys how great 3OH!3 was with their music then I'd never win. This section is for THEIR VIDEOS.
Click to view
In which Katy Perry licks people, Nat and Sean rock some suits, and there's whistling.
This is the song everyone knows, and if you don't, you should. This is also the song that got them lots of criticism because degrading women never happens in music. I just find it really hilarious that they censor the words "Helen Keller" on the radio sometimes.
Oh also this video has wrestling and naked and buffalo-humping. YEAH.
THIS IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE VIDEO RIGHT NOW. Highlights:
-Ke$ha in gold lipstick
-Laser wolves
-Lesbian makeouts
-The line "Excuse me miss but can I get you out your panties?"
If you still think they're taking themselves seriously after this video I'm going to have to choke you with Nat's poncho. THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A HOUSE PARTY IN THEIR HOUSE, OKAY.
Section Xtra: NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE BOYS?
-Well, you can download their music. I won't tell you to buy it, necessarily, but.
-Tell your friends! Show them the videos! Get the songs stuck in their heads so they can share my pain!
-WRITE ME PORN. NO, SERIOUSLY, THESE IDIOTS NEED A FANDOM.
-Bonus points for Cobra crossover. They hung out on the Too Fast For Love tour! Nat and Ryland played minigolf together! Sean and Nate are morons! It totally works out!
AND THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD LOVE 3OH!3.
...I can't believe I just spent a whole gigantic post defending bad music.
EGGO YOU'D BETTER MAKE A KE$HA POST TO HELP VALIDATE ME. (EDIT: She did!)