EAT OR BE EATEN
Replicators suck. You don't even get to kill the meat yourself. BAH.
I am a small green chef. WITH KNIVES. OH YES THE KNIVES. THE LOVELY STABBITY KNIVES!
I love everyone. Preferably in a mornay sauce.
The Killer Chef's Cheeseburger Soup
Cut tomatoes into quarters. Scrape off seeds and goo.
Place onion in guillotine, chop in half. You may use a knife if you do not have a guillotine. Dice half and set aside. Whack other half into quarters. Smash garlic with flat of knife. Throw tomato, half-onion, garlic, and cilantro into blender or food processor. Buzz until more or less liquid. Set aside.
Brown animal flesh in 2-quart saucepan. When flesh begins to crumble easily, add other half-onion, carrot, dill, basil, and parsley. When flesh is immolated to your taste, drain off fat and add tomato mixture. Let simmer. Dice the potato, leaving the skin on. Add potato and enough cockatrice stock to cover. Bring to a low boil, reduce heat, and cover.
Let simmer until potatoes are very very tender. Then pour in the half-and-half or cream. This will make the soup too cool to melt the cheese. Now, therefore, is a good time to cut the cheese up. Sadly, a dull knife is better than a sharp one for cutting cheese.
By the time you have made a pile of cheese cubes on your cutting board, the soup should be hot enough to melt it. Add the cheese a little at a time, stirring constantly until it's all melted in. Velveeta just melts right in. Other cheeses will turn all curdly if you're not careful.
Ladle soup into bowls and serve with hot, crusty bread.
Enjoy!
I am a small green chef. WITH KNIVES. OH YES THE KNIVES. THE LOVELY STABBITY KNIVES!
I love everyone. Preferably in a mornay sauce.
The Killer Chef's Cheeseburger Soup
- 1 pound freshly slaughtered and ground dragon, Disaster Eye, or long pig flesh (you may substitute cow or turkey if none of these are available)
- 1 medium-sized onion, preferably yellow
- 2 nice squishy Roma tomatoes
- A small handful of cilantro leaves
- 1 clove garlic
- 1/4 cup shredded carrot
- 1 tsp dill
- 1 tsp basil
- 1 tsp dried parsley
- 1 good-sized baking potato
- Cockatrice stock (or chicken, if you must), enough to cover all the above shit
- 1 cup half-and-half or cream
- 8 oz. Velveeta, cheddar, Havarti, or all of the above
Cut tomatoes into quarters. Scrape off seeds and goo.
Place onion in guillotine, chop in half. You may use a knife if you do not have a guillotine. Dice half and set aside. Whack other half into quarters. Smash garlic with flat of knife. Throw tomato, half-onion, garlic, and cilantro into blender or food processor. Buzz until more or less liquid. Set aside.
Brown animal flesh in 2-quart saucepan. When flesh begins to crumble easily, add other half-onion, carrot, dill, basil, and parsley. When flesh is immolated to your taste, drain off fat and add tomato mixture. Let simmer. Dice the potato, leaving the skin on. Add potato and enough cockatrice stock to cover. Bring to a low boil, reduce heat, and cover.
Let simmer until potatoes are very very tender. Then pour in the half-and-half or cream. This will make the soup too cool to melt the cheese. Now, therefore, is a good time to cut the cheese up. Sadly, a dull knife is better than a sharp one for cutting cheese.
By the time you have made a pile of cheese cubes on your cutting board, the soup should be hot enough to melt it. Add the cheese a little at a time, stirring constantly until it's all melted in. Velveeta just melts right in. Other cheeses will turn all curdly if you're not careful.
Ladle soup into bowls and serve with hot, crusty bread.
Enjoy!