Pieces Of You
Kyuhyun wraps his arm tighter around Sungmin’s waist as he reaches over to pull the blanket over them. Sungmin turns in his arms and Kyuhyun gently helps him to settle into a more comfortable position. He waits until he hears Sungmin’s breathing form a steady rhythm to ensure he’s soundly asleep, before he gently cups Sungmin’s cheeks and his fingertips trace the soft skin.
It’s moments like this that Kyuhyun shows the rare side of himself; the tenderness he reserves for that one person.
It’s not that Kyuhyun can’t be himself in front of Sungmin. It’s just that everybody has this private and exclusive side; and it just happens that this is his. He delights in moments like this, when Sungmin is asleep, and Kyuhyun can just stay awake and drink in every inch of him for hours.
Sungmin, he thinks, is most delicate when he’s asleep like this. All the defensive walls he’s built up to protect himself are let down. He exposes his truest self, and Kyuhyun thinks he feels connected and attached to Sungmin more than ever.
He thinks of the cute Sungmin. The real, the fake and the unintentional. The real: When Sungmin tugs at his sleeve (and his heart) and says pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease, just to get Kyuhyun to go to the mart with him. The fake: During variety shows, when the ladies cannot get enough of Sungmin’s aegyo. And when they keep introducing him as Danhobak. (Kyuhyun thinks it’s so passé.) The unintentional: Those rare mornings when Kyuhyun gets up earlier and wakes Sungmin, and Sungmin rolls himself in the sheets while he pouts naturally and mumbles ‘five more minutes’.
Kyuhyun’s lips curve and he brushes away the stray strands of hair before pressing a soft kiss to Sungmin’s forehead.
He thinks of the playful Sungmin. Kyuhyun never really witnessed the playful streak in Sungmin until he saw what Sungmin was capable of, along with the help of his accomplice -Ryeowook. Their self-entertainment always leaves behind a confused and exasperated Jongwoon, ‘Huh? What? I don’t understand you guys…’. It takes half a day and multiple kicks on the butt plus a very kindhearted someone (usually the stylists) before Jongwoon notices the post-it on his back. That leaves a very happy Sungmin grinning ear to ear and when their gazes meet, he winks at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun usually rolls his eyes, but when he turns around, an adoring smile that only he knows of surfaces.
He thinks of Super Junior’s Sungmin. The one who takes every schedule seriously; the one who spends hours in the practice rooms perfecting every single dance move; the one who spends his free time singing the same song over and over again to ensure he can hit the notes perfectly; the one who goes through his scripts relentlessly so he can perform at his best. Kyuhyun thinks that one day, Sungmin isn’t just going to be a member of an idol group. Someday, he thinks, Sungmin is going to be at the top of the world, doing what he does best -everything, and Kyuhyun will be there, standing by his side. Always.
He thinks of a happy Sungmin. When Sungmin is happy, he radiates waves of happiness that are so infectious and Kyuhyun becomes happy too. Kyuhyun remembers all those times when they win awards -recognition of their hard work, and Sungmin’s face crinkles up in a smile, he thinks that the award and the show no longer matter. Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to preserve that smile, so genuinely beautiful. The best gift ever.
Kyuhyun inevitably thinks of a sad Sungmin and he knows he’ll never forget. Corny as it might sound, Kyuhyun knew Sungmin was the one right from the very start. But their relationship just had too many complications. It wasn’t them, it was never them. It was who they were to the world and that couldn’t be helped.
Kyuhyun remembers those days when he was constantly away in China for months when Super Junior M was newly formed -days and nights of inundating uncertainty and insecurity. He never talked to Sungmin about it. In fact, he showed it the worst way possible by ignoring Sungmin’s calls, texts and emails.
He remembers being confused by infatuation that he allowed to settle in him because he was lonely (such poor excuses, he thinks). He remembers how obvious this thing -thing, because really, it was nothing but a thing- he had with Zhou Mi became. He remembers returning to Korea and he thinks retrospectively that whoever who came up with that clichéd phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ deserves a Nobel Prize, because he found his lost and confused heart right home, in Sungmin’s arms. Kyuhyun remembers himself crying in Sungmin’s arms (though he’ll never admit it now), and the forgiveness and loved showered upon him, and he knows there’s nobody else he’ll ever want.
Kyuhyun watches as Sungmin stirs in his arms and blinks blearily.
‘Kyu…’
‘Hmm?’ He rubs soothing circles down Sungmin’s back, hoping that will help him to go back to sleep.
Sungmin doesn’t say anything except that he reaches blindly for the blanket and wraps it tighter around them before promptly falling asleep again.
Kyuhyun looks at Sungmin curled up in his arms like a child before he lets out a small, controlled laugh, not wanting to wake Sungmin.
And he thinks of his Sungmin.
His Sungmin is different from all the other sides of Sungmin. His Sungmin isn’t all sugary smiles and pouts. His Sungmin has a temper and will not hesitate to demonstrate it when he’s upset with Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun remembers that particular time when he promised Sungmin that he’d feed the cats but forgot because he was busy building his gaming career, and a very furious Sungmin had ignored him the entire night.
Or the other time when Sungmin glared at him before slamming the door because they were quarreling over something of little significance now.
His Sungmin always sends him cute texts -and only Sungmin can make texts seem cute: ‘remember to eat your lunch :>’; ‘stop sending me that kind of texts D<’; ‘ily too :3’; ‘meet me at the car park later~’.
His Sungmin is calm and collected whenever they find themselves trapped in situations. He remembers all those times they were nearly caught in the cinema, and how his palms were already sweaty from the nervousness while Sungmin calmly instructed him to take another route to the car park to divert the attention of probing fans.
He remembers that one time he’d wanted and needed so badly he couldn’t wait to get home so they ended up making out at the back staircase of the SM building, and how they nearly got caught when a janitor passed by, if not for Sungmin’s wit.
His Sungmin is different. His Sungmin is like a kaleidoscope, intricately beautiful yet always different. To Kyuhyun, Sungmin isn’t like a math equation with given solutions and answers. He’s like a philosophical question that you can get lost in while trying to find the answer. But if this is what getting lost is like, then Kyuhyun thinks he never needs to find an answer.
Because Sungmin is a conundrum, and the answer.
Sungmin wakes up with Kyuhyun’s arms wrapped possessively around his waist and their legs are in a mess of tangle. The morning sun casts a soft glow on his features and he’s beautiful -breathtakingly so, as Kyuhyun would say. He presses a kiss to the tip of Kyuhyun’s nose before he just lies awake and looks at Kyuhyun quietly until the younger man wakes up.
Mornings are when Sungmin takes time to remember Kyuhyun as he is, and today is another day he adds a different face of Kyuhyun into his collection of memories.
It’s moments like this that Kyuhyun shows the rare side of himself; the tenderness he reserves for that one person.
It’s not that Kyuhyun can’t be himself in front of Sungmin. It’s just that everybody has this private and exclusive side; and it just happens that this is his. He delights in moments like this, when Sungmin is asleep, and Kyuhyun can just stay awake and drink in every inch of him for hours.
Sungmin, he thinks, is most delicate when he’s asleep like this. All the defensive walls he’s built up to protect himself are let down. He exposes his truest self, and Kyuhyun thinks he feels connected and attached to Sungmin more than ever.
He thinks of the cute Sungmin. The real, the fake and the unintentional. The real: When Sungmin tugs at his sleeve (and his heart) and says pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease, just to get Kyuhyun to go to the mart with him. The fake: During variety shows, when the ladies cannot get enough of Sungmin’s aegyo. And when they keep introducing him as Danhobak. (Kyuhyun thinks it’s so passé.) The unintentional: Those rare mornings when Kyuhyun gets up earlier and wakes Sungmin, and Sungmin rolls himself in the sheets while he pouts naturally and mumbles ‘five more minutes’.
Kyuhyun’s lips curve and he brushes away the stray strands of hair before pressing a soft kiss to Sungmin’s forehead.
He thinks of the playful Sungmin. Kyuhyun never really witnessed the playful streak in Sungmin until he saw what Sungmin was capable of, along with the help of his accomplice -Ryeowook. Their self-entertainment always leaves behind a confused and exasperated Jongwoon, ‘Huh? What? I don’t understand you guys…’. It takes half a day and multiple kicks on the butt plus a very kindhearted someone (usually the stylists) before Jongwoon notices the post-it on his back. That leaves a very happy Sungmin grinning ear to ear and when their gazes meet, he winks at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun usually rolls his eyes, but when he turns around, an adoring smile that only he knows of surfaces.
He thinks of Super Junior’s Sungmin. The one who takes every schedule seriously; the one who spends hours in the practice rooms perfecting every single dance move; the one who spends his free time singing the same song over and over again to ensure he can hit the notes perfectly; the one who goes through his scripts relentlessly so he can perform at his best. Kyuhyun thinks that one day, Sungmin isn’t just going to be a member of an idol group. Someday, he thinks, Sungmin is going to be at the top of the world, doing what he does best -everything, and Kyuhyun will be there, standing by his side. Always.
He thinks of a happy Sungmin. When Sungmin is happy, he radiates waves of happiness that are so infectious and Kyuhyun becomes happy too. Kyuhyun remembers all those times when they win awards -recognition of their hard work, and Sungmin’s face crinkles up in a smile, he thinks that the award and the show no longer matter. Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to preserve that smile, so genuinely beautiful. The best gift ever.
Kyuhyun inevitably thinks of a sad Sungmin and he knows he’ll never forget. Corny as it might sound, Kyuhyun knew Sungmin was the one right from the very start. But their relationship just had too many complications. It wasn’t them, it was never them. It was who they were to the world and that couldn’t be helped.
Kyuhyun remembers those days when he was constantly away in China for months when Super Junior M was newly formed -days and nights of inundating uncertainty and insecurity. He never talked to Sungmin about it. In fact, he showed it the worst way possible by ignoring Sungmin’s calls, texts and emails.
He remembers being confused by infatuation that he allowed to settle in him because he was lonely (such poor excuses, he thinks). He remembers how obvious this thing -thing, because really, it was nothing but a thing- he had with Zhou Mi became. He remembers returning to Korea and he thinks retrospectively that whoever who came up with that clichéd phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ deserves a Nobel Prize, because he found his lost and confused heart right home, in Sungmin’s arms. Kyuhyun remembers himself crying in Sungmin’s arms (though he’ll never admit it now), and the forgiveness and loved showered upon him, and he knows there’s nobody else he’ll ever want.
Kyuhyun watches as Sungmin stirs in his arms and blinks blearily.
‘Kyu…’
‘Hmm?’ He rubs soothing circles down Sungmin’s back, hoping that will help him to go back to sleep.
Sungmin doesn’t say anything except that he reaches blindly for the blanket and wraps it tighter around them before promptly falling asleep again.
Kyuhyun looks at Sungmin curled up in his arms like a child before he lets out a small, controlled laugh, not wanting to wake Sungmin.
And he thinks of his Sungmin.
His Sungmin is different from all the other sides of Sungmin. His Sungmin isn’t all sugary smiles and pouts. His Sungmin has a temper and will not hesitate to demonstrate it when he’s upset with Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun remembers that particular time when he promised Sungmin that he’d feed the cats but forgot because he was busy building his gaming career, and a very furious Sungmin had ignored him the entire night.
Or the other time when Sungmin glared at him before slamming the door because they were quarreling over something of little significance now.
His Sungmin always sends him cute texts -and only Sungmin can make texts seem cute: ‘remember to eat your lunch :>’; ‘stop sending me that kind of texts D<’; ‘ily too :3’; ‘meet me at the car park later~’.
His Sungmin is calm and collected whenever they find themselves trapped in situations. He remembers all those times they were nearly caught in the cinema, and how his palms were already sweaty from the nervousness while Sungmin calmly instructed him to take another route to the car park to divert the attention of probing fans.
He remembers that one time he’d wanted and needed so badly he couldn’t wait to get home so they ended up making out at the back staircase of the SM building, and how they nearly got caught when a janitor passed by, if not for Sungmin’s wit.
His Sungmin is different. His Sungmin is like a kaleidoscope, intricately beautiful yet always different. To Kyuhyun, Sungmin isn’t like a math equation with given solutions and answers. He’s like a philosophical question that you can get lost in while trying to find the answer. But if this is what getting lost is like, then Kyuhyun thinks he never needs to find an answer.
Because Sungmin is a conundrum, and the answer.
Sungmin wakes up with Kyuhyun’s arms wrapped possessively around his waist and their legs are in a mess of tangle. The morning sun casts a soft glow on his features and he’s beautiful -breathtakingly so, as Kyuhyun would say. He presses a kiss to the tip of Kyuhyun’s nose before he just lies awake and looks at Kyuhyun quietly until the younger man wakes up.
Mornings are when Sungmin takes time to remember Kyuhyun as he is, and today is another day he adds a different face of Kyuhyun into his collection of memories.