Pass The Holy Water
Originally published at Welcome To The Dollhouse. You can comment here or there.
know, an irreverent title for an important subject. Shame on me. But that notwithstanding, I am pleased to announce that after much ado, I have finally scheduled the date for Zara’s baptism! It will take place on February 17th.
I wanted to wait until after we had finalized before proceeding, yet and still, I dawdled a little more because I was confused about the process. The problem is that I converted to Catholicism in my 20s and thus never faced the issue of baptism. My own baptism was in the Presbyterian Church. Little did I know how different the Catholics true are when it came to this ritual.
I felt like such a moron when I called my parish to set up the baptism. I had spoken to someone months ago who explained the basics: that one of the godparents had to be Roman Catholic in good standing and that the godparents had to take the pre-Jordan course. OK, so I was all set with that when I called for the actual scheduling. Yet to my immediate chagrin, I discovered that the first woman neglected to mention that the parents had to take the course as well! In fact it is mandatory for the parents and optional for the godparents. Way to omit something important! I guess she figured that a real Catholic would know such a thing. And even better, the class is only given once a month on the 2nd Tuesday of the month. (I called on the second Thursday of the month. Arrgh!)
I also seemed to confuse the woman taking the information. “What is your maiden name?” she asked.
“I don’t have a maiden name,” I replied, “I just have a name.”
“But your maiden name has to be on the baptism document.”
“Again, I don’t have a maiden name. I’ve had the same name for 44 years.”
“But you don’t understand…”
I decided to let the poor woman off the hook. “I never changed my name when I got married. It’s something I never believed in even when I was a little kid. I’m supposed to change my name and he doesn’t? That’s not fair!” I explained.
“Well that is an interesting way of looking at it,” she concluded.
And we moved on to the next issue: the godparent issue. Only a Catholic in good standing with the church can be a true godparent. Others can be Christian witnesses (assuming they are not, like my husband, Jewish). I have a dear friend, Jennifer, who is an eligible Catholic (married in the church, belongs to a parish, and all that) and she is thrilled to be Zara’s godmother.
In addition to Jennifer, I asked my best buddy Millie if she would be willing to be a Christian witness/godmother to little Zizi. We have been through hell together on our journey to become parents. She has become closer to me than my own sister. I wanted and needed Millie to be a part of this, though I didn’t expect to make her cry at work!
I told the lady taking the information about the Catholic godmother and my other friend, the Christian witness. And she tells me, “oh no, you can’t have two women! Just a woman and a man.”
I was completely thrown. You see, I was baptized Presbyterian and I have 2 godmothers and 2 godfathers. How was I to know that in the Catholic Church you only get one of each?! And the last thing I wanted to do was un-ask my Millie. No, that was not going to happen.
So I called the Monsignor who intervened and said that my Catholic friend would be the official godmother, but my other friend was welcome to come up as a witness. Phew! And luckily for Millie, I didn’t have to ask her to get a sex change operation.
Josie, Zara’s firstmother and some of her friends plan to attend as well. We also invited Zara’s firstfather, but we aren’t sure that he will be able to make it since it involves more travel for him.
I’ve got to find a private room in a restaurant to hold a little reception/celebration afterwards. Don’t even think about mentioning that I should hold it in my house. You know that cleaning up is not my strong suit.
Now I am busily searching for a baptism dress! I’m deciding between this one:
And this one:
I can’t make up my mind!
Gotta run and get the little girl!