I've really got to stop being such a pussy.
A girl on my facebook I've known vaguely for a year or so posted something about hating how fat she's becoming in Germany and how she really badly wants to lose weight so she comes back to England not being the fatty she was when she left.
Obviously this lit up the fat-acceptance light in my head, so I wrote her a long comment about how her comments (she's written them before) have made me consider defriending her a few times, before realising it would be unhelpful for me to do so, and then I talked about how dieting doesn't work and everything, and that surely she's smart enough to see that. She then posted back saying that maybe I should defriend her because I don't know her and I don't know about her self-esteem issues and such.
For one thing I sort of did know about them, since she posts about that kind of stuff often enough... but anyway.
So now I feel really guilty. Like, REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY guilty, because I had to open my fat mouth and crap on about size acceptance to somebody who probably really does not want to hear it and would rather wallow in self-pity because she's unable to defy biology and be the several kilos thinner that she would like to be.
I really do feel awful. I PM'd her an apology, so we'll see what she says. I guess the worst she could do would be to tell me to fuck off and leave me alone, and that wouldn't be so bad I guess. We'll probably never see each other again, and we disagree philosophically on other, separate *coughreligiouscough* issues, so it wasn't as if we would have ever been bosom. I'd have felt worse if I hadn't apologised though, so I'm glad I did that. It eases my conscience.
But this happens all the time, whenever somebody is even the slightest bit upset with me. I've talked about this before, but once on LJ I said something slightly careless, and woke up the next morning to the cries of MANY enraged LJ peeps branding me a misunderstanding, racist little fucker who would do best to die in a gutter quickly and without delay (slight exaggeration mine). To this day, whenever I get an alert saying that someone's commented on LJ, I start to panic. Even when it's somebody that knows me well (cyberly, at least), like luvscharlie or blackestfaery. Once I mentioned this on another post and somebody told me to "get over it". That pissed me right off, but she did have a point. I've really got to stop letting people (or rather, let's be honest, WORDS ON A SCREEN) affect me like they do. It's not good for me, it makes me anxious and makes me panic, and what the hell am I being anxious or panicking for? The benefit of some nameless jerk who doesn't know me or care a rat's hairy left testicle about how I feel? Jeeezzzz. I know who I love and respect online and off, and they should be the only people with any power over my anxieties.
Clearly, this is something I need to work on.
Edit: She seemed to accept my apology, which is good. But still, I do need to toughen up a bit. Mum's told me this often enough.
Obviously this lit up the fat-acceptance light in my head, so I wrote her a long comment about how her comments (she's written them before) have made me consider defriending her a few times, before realising it would be unhelpful for me to do so, and then I talked about how dieting doesn't work and everything, and that surely she's smart enough to see that. She then posted back saying that maybe I should defriend her because I don't know her and I don't know about her self-esteem issues and such.
For one thing I sort of did know about them, since she posts about that kind of stuff often enough... but anyway.
So now I feel really guilty. Like, REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY guilty, because I had to open my fat mouth and crap on about size acceptance to somebody who probably really does not want to hear it and would rather wallow in self-pity because she's unable to defy biology and be the several kilos thinner that she would like to be.
I really do feel awful. I PM'd her an apology, so we'll see what she says. I guess the worst she could do would be to tell me to fuck off and leave me alone, and that wouldn't be so bad I guess. We'll probably never see each other again, and we disagree philosophically on other, separate *coughreligiouscough* issues, so it wasn't as if we would have ever been bosom. I'd have felt worse if I hadn't apologised though, so I'm glad I did that. It eases my conscience.
But this happens all the time, whenever somebody is even the slightest bit upset with me. I've talked about this before, but once on LJ I said something slightly careless, and woke up the next morning to the cries of MANY enraged LJ peeps branding me a misunderstanding, racist little fucker who would do best to die in a gutter quickly and without delay (slight exaggeration mine). To this day, whenever I get an alert saying that someone's commented on LJ, I start to panic. Even when it's somebody that knows me well (cyberly, at least), like luvscharlie or blackestfaery. Once I mentioned this on another post and somebody told me to "get over it". That pissed me right off, but she did have a point. I've really got to stop letting people (or rather, let's be honest, WORDS ON A SCREEN) affect me like they do. It's not good for me, it makes me anxious and makes me panic, and what the hell am I being anxious or panicking for? The benefit of some nameless jerk who doesn't know me or care a rat's hairy left testicle about how I feel? Jeeezzzz. I know who I love and respect online and off, and they should be the only people with any power over my anxieties.
Clearly, this is something I need to work on.
Edit: She seemed to accept my apology, which is good. But still, I do need to toughen up a bit. Mum's told me this often enough.