-- There is a dream in my brain that wont go away

May 19, 2005 22:39


she'd cry herself to sleep
but she don't dare
and she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

I dont know what to say anymore. Life to me is just pretty much pointless. I mean as i went out today, walking. I started to think about things. About my life. About my past and my future. Nothing is going to change it. its still going to be the same. There is nothing i can do to change it. I despise being me. I just want to know whats its like to be someone else for a change.. What its like to have a lot money? Whats it like to have a lot of friends? Whats it like to be in the paper or on tv? Whats it like when you get high grades? Whats it like to feel wanted? In my life those questions probably would never be answered.

Need more friends with wings
All the angels I know
Put concrete in my veins
I’d always walk home alone
So I became lifeless
Just like my telephone

There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change

Yay tomorrow is Friday. What Joy. Im not really looking towards it at all. More and more each day i hate being school. Im at such a close rate in dropping out. I heard its suppose to rain. Rain is cool. It sometimes calms me down.. or relaxes me. I love sitting outside watching the rain fall. Its looks beautiful i think. I mean.. then again i just love the rain. Im probably not doing anything this weekend. Not like thats anything new. I really want to go to that thing at Our Lady of Grace, but i have no one to go with. I honestly dont want to go there by myself.

but i'm the one whose wrong, i'm the one who cries

i cry- i despise me
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