(no subject)
I love being busy with artwork. I can't even.
The other night I was on my way home from typography (which turned out pretty good, btw) and I ran into Stephen at the Hazard Center trolley stop. I had actually been waiting there for a few minutes already when he and some girl came. We shook hands, but aside form that he pretty much ignored me the the entire time and didn't even bother to introduce me to his new friend. I was a bit butt hurt because I thought we really vibed off each other when we met. Well, we did, even though our lack of interaction that night certainly didn't seem like it. To be fair he did say that he wanted to start meeting girls etc ... so I guess he was just tryna spit his game. Whatevs. I ended up calling Jay and complaining/whining to him.
A short ride later I come to enlightenment outside of the NBC building waiting for the second to the last ride on the 901, recognize ego and its firm grasp on identity and attachment and I anchor myself in the moment. I don't deny any of the feelings or emotions or thoughts I experienced earlier with Stephen and his (not so pretty ... (God T, you're such a hater)) new friend, but I recognize them, honor them, and let them go.
I called Jay again upon my revelation and he mentioned something that really made me take a step back from myself. At first I explained reactions, as best and as rationally as I could, noting that I've had friends in the past (haha ... the past ... see how far ego can still project itself???!!!) all the way from elementary school who just stopped being my friend and with this situation it conjured up some similar emotions I had felt then. Any how, Jay had postulated that maybe, just maybe, I find "ways out" of friendships in order to avoid being hurt in the long run. Whether my reasons for feeling hurt are justified or not this may be just a little true. I can totally see my overreaction here, too.
Iono. It's just blah ... he's my first friend here at Ai, and that night made me feel like that fact is totally sided. Ah. Meh.
I'm still enjoying the hell out of life, though, so I ain't even mad. I ain't even mad.
The other night I was on my way home from typography (which turned out pretty good, btw) and I ran into Stephen at the Hazard Center trolley stop. I had actually been waiting there for a few minutes already when he and some girl came. We shook hands, but aside form that he pretty much ignored me the the entire time and didn't even bother to introduce me to his new friend. I was a bit butt hurt because I thought we really vibed off each other when we met. Well, we did, even though our lack of interaction that night certainly didn't seem like it. To be fair he did say that he wanted to start meeting girls etc ... so I guess he was just tryna spit his game. Whatevs. I ended up calling Jay and complaining/whining to him.
A short ride later I come to enlightenment outside of the NBC building waiting for the second to the last ride on the 901, recognize ego and its firm grasp on identity and attachment and I anchor myself in the moment. I don't deny any of the feelings or emotions or thoughts I experienced earlier with Stephen and his (not so pretty ... (God T, you're such a hater)) new friend, but I recognize them, honor them, and let them go.
I called Jay again upon my revelation and he mentioned something that really made me take a step back from myself. At first I explained reactions, as best and as rationally as I could, noting that I've had friends in the past (haha ... the past ... see how far ego can still project itself???!!!) all the way from elementary school who just stopped being my friend and with this situation it conjured up some similar emotions I had felt then. Any how, Jay had postulated that maybe, just maybe, I find "ways out" of friendships in order to avoid being hurt in the long run. Whether my reasons for feeling hurt are justified or not this may be just a little true. I can totally see my overreaction here, too.
Iono. It's just blah ... he's my first friend here at Ai, and that night made me feel like that fact is totally sided. Ah. Meh.
I'm still enjoying the hell out of life, though, so I ain't even mad. I ain't even mad.