Bargain of the century! What luck!
Wonderful news in tonight's email basket! Apparently, I have been lucky enough to win an eBay auction - even though I have no memory of taking part in said auction!
The email departs from usual PayPal practice by being a large image file of some text informing me of my luck. It also departs from usual PayPal practice in that the address is not a PayPal address and the document is littered with spelling and grammatical errors.
Nontheless, I am delighted by my good fortune and reply to the kind correspondents in the following terms:
A leather-bound edition of the Encyclopedia Americana for a mere $199? What a bargain!
I don't remember ordering it, but I suppose I must have, since the receipt is in front of me, clear as day. Now that I think of it, I was saying to matron just the other day how much I wanted a set of these fine publications.
In this place, about the best chance of a good read is snatching a look at the advisory notes on matron's list of changes to our medication, so I'm sure you can appreciate what a godsend these encyclopedias are going to be to myself and my colleagues.
Actually, now that I think of it, perhaps one set wouldn't be enough. Ronnie 'The Slicer' McCrivvens has really developed a thirst for knowledge now that his thirst for blood has receded somewhat (that last change of medication really did the trick!), and I'm sure 'Mad Tony' O'Bonkers would be happy to hold up the books and turn the pages for him, since Ronnie - even in his current relaxed frame of mind - remains strapped to his gurney 24 hours a day.
So would it be too late for me to change my order and request two full sets of leather-bound Encyclopedia Americana, to share with the rest of the ward? Oh, to hell with it! Let's have three - $597 is a small price to pay for such a repository of knowledge!
So that's three full sets, and if you can sort it out for me ASAP I'll throw in an extra $100 for your trouble. That's $697 in all. I'm sure you'll agree that's a very fair offer.
Now, how do I get this cash to you? My glasses have been confiscated again after my last dirty protest and I can't find a 'pay now' button. Is there some other way I can get some money to you?
Please let me know ASAP, as we are all desperate to read the encylopedias (though I suspect Mad Tony just wants to smell the leather binding).
Yours,
Theodore Maul (Mr),
Carstairs,
Scotland
Sadly, my email returns to me instantly and is declared 'undeliverable'. How am I to collect my prized encylopedias now?
;)
The email departs from usual PayPal practice by being a large image file of some text informing me of my luck. It also departs from usual PayPal practice in that the address is not a PayPal address and the document is littered with spelling and grammatical errors.
Nontheless, I am delighted by my good fortune and reply to the kind correspondents in the following terms:
A leather-bound edition of the Encyclopedia Americana for a mere $199? What a bargain!
I don't remember ordering it, but I suppose I must have, since the receipt is in front of me, clear as day. Now that I think of it, I was saying to matron just the other day how much I wanted a set of these fine publications.
In this place, about the best chance of a good read is snatching a look at the advisory notes on matron's list of changes to our medication, so I'm sure you can appreciate what a godsend these encyclopedias are going to be to myself and my colleagues.
Actually, now that I think of it, perhaps one set wouldn't be enough. Ronnie 'The Slicer' McCrivvens has really developed a thirst for knowledge now that his thirst for blood has receded somewhat (that last change of medication really did the trick!), and I'm sure 'Mad Tony' O'Bonkers would be happy to hold up the books and turn the pages for him, since Ronnie - even in his current relaxed frame of mind - remains strapped to his gurney 24 hours a day.
So would it be too late for me to change my order and request two full sets of leather-bound Encyclopedia Americana, to share with the rest of the ward? Oh, to hell with it! Let's have three - $597 is a small price to pay for such a repository of knowledge!
So that's three full sets, and if you can sort it out for me ASAP I'll throw in an extra $100 for your trouble. That's $697 in all. I'm sure you'll agree that's a very fair offer.
Now, how do I get this cash to you? My glasses have been confiscated again after my last dirty protest and I can't find a 'pay now' button. Is there some other way I can get some money to you?
Please let me know ASAP, as we are all desperate to read the encylopedias (though I suspect Mad Tony just wants to smell the leather binding).
Yours,
Theodore Maul (Mr),
Carstairs,
Scotland
Sadly, my email returns to me instantly and is declared 'undeliverable'. How am I to collect my prized encylopedias now?
;)