(no subject)
alright, i know i haven't updated in fucking forever but i'm just internally freaking out sorta. so this weekend was parents weekend, i played in a jazz concert, marching band, saw the school play, got a winter coat, etc. soo the rents leave at like 11 and i go back to my dorm and we're trying to think of something to do. it's a gorgeous as heaven night where the stars are all out and it was a new moon so like 6 of us decide to go for a walk to where this lookout tower is near the school so we can look at the stars. it's a little creepy and dark, but not all that cold. so this one kid ben decided not to go up the tower just yet and was walking around and said that a police car had passed so we were like ok. then the freakin park ranger turned around with his flashing lights and beamed his fuckin spotlight on us and everything. i'm thinking whatever, i'm not drunk or high or anything, just looking at some stars so i'm not all that paranoid or anything. he asks for id, ok fine. goes into his nice warm car and just leaves us out there for in total an hour. calls each one of us individually to his car to get social security number and home phone number. tickets each one of us $50 plus a lame $25 "processing fee" whatever the fuck that means, because it was "park grounds" and the "park" closes at 10pm and "it's almost the end of the semester" (which it's not really)and we should know that by now. ladeeefrickin dah man, we're not defacing property, we're not on any substance, just some kids that wanted to get a better look at the stars. he wasn't even a real cop, he was a disgruntled Park Ranger probably having to fill his monthly quota that is ending like tomorrow and wanted to teach us first years a lesson blah blah blah. so now i have to call home and explain a $75 ticket that i got a couple hours after they left. fuck the man, fuck park rangers, not even the po po.
so what makes me feel lost is that later that night we walked to 7-11, which is not illegal. there's this phone booth near it and there was this woman with her little bundled up girl, probably about 2 or younger, and the woman was just crying in the phone booth. we didn't really know why, so we walked past her. when we left the 7-11 though we saw her and her significant other, either boyfriend or husband, fighting. she's screaming and crying while her daughter is just sitting on this plant box thing next to the side walk. he then proceeds to take her glasses, leaving her blind and crying "i can't see without my glasses, please just give them back!" crouched near the ground because she can't really see what's around her. he keeps asking "are you gonna come back now? are you gonna come with me? stop crying and come inside etc" and i myself almost start crying too. we don't stop, i feel helpless, i can't offer anything to make it better without feeling like i'll make the situation worse or get myself hurt. where's the police now? when something actually horrific is going on, WHERE ARE THEY? i get fined for looking at stars while some woman is overlooked by everyone passing by and probably goes home to be beaten and what not. safety and security, 2 police cars that i saw drive by on the same street, somehow did not see what was going on. it's not right but i don't know how to fix it. i don't know the exact lesson from this night, i just know that i won't be able to forget it for a long time.
so what makes me feel lost is that later that night we walked to 7-11, which is not illegal. there's this phone booth near it and there was this woman with her little bundled up girl, probably about 2 or younger, and the woman was just crying in the phone booth. we didn't really know why, so we walked past her. when we left the 7-11 though we saw her and her significant other, either boyfriend or husband, fighting. she's screaming and crying while her daughter is just sitting on this plant box thing next to the side walk. he then proceeds to take her glasses, leaving her blind and crying "i can't see without my glasses, please just give them back!" crouched near the ground because she can't really see what's around her. he keeps asking "are you gonna come back now? are you gonna come with me? stop crying and come inside etc" and i myself almost start crying too. we don't stop, i feel helpless, i can't offer anything to make it better without feeling like i'll make the situation worse or get myself hurt. where's the police now? when something actually horrific is going on, WHERE ARE THEY? i get fined for looking at stars while some woman is overlooked by everyone passing by and probably goes home to be beaten and what not. safety and security, 2 police cars that i saw drive by on the same street, somehow did not see what was going on. it's not right but i don't know how to fix it. i don't know the exact lesson from this night, i just know that i won't be able to forget it for a long time.