Every time I do this, whether it's because there was a race debate or a squee-harshing wank or whatever they issue du jour was, I'm SO tired by the end. I'm exhausted. It's a long long long hard war, that doesn't seem to get anywhere.
Unrelatedly, or maybe completely relatedly, I would like to say: Adam Lambert, Johnny Weir and Lady Gaga are the most consistently civil people out there. ROLE MODELS FOR PASSION WITHOUT PRICKERY. We can have them.
okay listen. when it comes to not getting anywhere, never believe that. never ever, and i'll tell you why: without fandom there to kick my dumb ass to hell and back for being a douchebag without realizing it, i would never have improved myself as a human.
i would never have known how to help my irl, non-fandom friends toward those understandings. and they in turn would not have used that info in their own lives. i see the influence of the people who rightfully slapped me into place all the time, in all the things i do, in all the ripples it makes.
it absolutely matters. it absolutely has an effect.
and ohhhh adam, johnny, ladyface. yes. they are the pop stars i want.
I know you're right. I'll never forget the first ringing slap I got for using the 'N' word when I was kid too young to know what it meant, but I guarantee, I never used it again, and learned right quick why not.
And I'll never forget the slap I got for making up an example about an alcoholic Indian, without knowing why in fuck it would be offensive. But man did I ever learn. That was after I'd spent ten years educating myself on the issues.
I still say stupid, asshattish things sometimes without realizing it, and if I'm not called on my shit I'll keep doing it. And I don't want my ass hanging out in public.
So, yeah. It matters, it's worth doing, whether it's for truly awfully things like being a racist jackass, or for less awful but just plain insensitive things like forgetting someone else might really care about the fic they spent six weeks working on. You're right, and thanks for the reminder.
(Doesn't mean it's not exhausting being old and reasonable in fandom, though. *sleeps on*)
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Thanks for coming over to say so.
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Unrelatedly, or maybe completely relatedly, I would like to say: Adam Lambert, Johnny Weir and Lady Gaga are the most consistently civil people out there. ROLE MODELS FOR PASSION WITHOUT PRICKERY. We can have them.
Reply
i would never have known how to help my irl, non-fandom friends toward those understandings. and they in turn would not have used that info in their own lives. i see the influence of the people who rightfully slapped me into place all the time, in all the things i do, in all the ripples it makes.
it absolutely matters. it absolutely has an effect.
and ohhhh adam, johnny, ladyface. yes. they are the pop stars i want.
Reply
And I'll never forget the slap I got for making up an example about an alcoholic Indian, without knowing why in fuck it would be offensive. But man did I ever learn. That was after I'd spent ten years educating myself on the issues.
I still say stupid, asshattish things sometimes without realizing it, and if I'm not called on my shit I'll keep doing it. And I don't want my ass hanging out in public.
So, yeah. It matters, it's worth doing, whether it's for truly awfully things like being a racist jackass, or for less awful but just plain insensitive things like forgetting someone else might really care about the fic they spent six weeks working on. You're right, and thanks for the reminder.
(Doesn't mean it's not exhausting being old and reasonable in fandom, though. *sleeps on*)
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