Notes from an Old Fandom Hag*
*I need an icon. Anyone?
Of the good:
linaerys is hosting a porn paragraphathon. Porn, prompt, pimp. Go go go!
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Buddha knows best: You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~Buddha Thanks meredevachon for the uplifting on an angry day.
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Best restatement of the Old Fandom Hags' rule for getting along on the internet: It's okay to not like things, but don't be a dick about the things you don't like. Catchy. Thanks silensy for the timely link.
*
Of the personal good and good for the Sanctuary fans who like Will/Helen: I wrote more fic last night. It may be done later today, if my fandom headache abates.
Please note: I am NOT making any equation that liking Will/Helen = good, and not liking = bad. I feel like it's ridiculous that I need to say that, but in light of my own lecturing about tone and incivility, I want to be clear: I think it's absolutely lovely for you to ship whoever you like.
Of the not good:
OH in fandom way too often: Strong Woman Character would Never Let Herself Be Domestically Abused so stop writing about it happening.
Wow. Way to shame all the women out there who "Let" domestic abuse happen to them. (thanks to silensy who always finds the short words for my long ones.) ETA: Sil said blame, and I think I probably meant that, but for the sake of historical accuracy, I make note rather than edit the comment.
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OH in fandom also way too often: Stop Weakening my favorite Strong Woman Character by making her get married and/or have babies.
Being Maternal or Traditionally Married is not a weakness. It's a choice. And one that you have every right not to make. But can you find a way to say "I hate it when you make my favorite SWC have babies and get married" without saying "you're a dick for doing it"?
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Closing thought: I feel like I'm spending a lot of time lately making an argument that treads dangerously upon the domain of the issue of Tone.
For example:
Fan A: Writes a fic where all of the POCs are janitors.
Fan B: That's pretty racist.
Fan A: I'm not a racist, how dare you say that?!
Fan B: Explains with Loud Capitals.
Fan A: Don't take that tone with me; it's rude.
Fan B: You were rude first by being racist.
I agree with Fan B. If you're being racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, etc., you're already being beyond rude. You've already raised your tone. So you can't go saying, "Don't take that tone with me."
On the other hand, if you love weddings and babies, as long as you're not saying you have to get married or have babies to be a real woman, or running around bashing femmeslash for being anti-something or other, there's no rudeness there. So it's not cool to respond to:
Fan A: Writes a fic where SWC has a baby.
with
Fan B: I hate when you make my SWCs have babies and get married; stop writing that! Implication: You're a bad feminist.
But on the third hand, the debate about what constitutes being a good feminist (and even whether we have an obligation to be a good feminists) is a completely legitimate and necessary debate.
So, this Old Fandom Hag is struggling today. Where's the line between useful debate and downright incivility? How do we learn to Not Like Things without Being Dicks about the Things We Don't Like?
Of the good:
linaerys is hosting a porn paragraphathon. Porn, prompt, pimp. Go go go!
*
Buddha knows best: You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~Buddha Thanks meredevachon for the uplifting on an angry day.
*
Best restatement of the Old Fandom Hags' rule for getting along on the internet: It's okay to not like things, but don't be a dick about the things you don't like. Catchy. Thanks silensy for the timely link.
*
Of the personal good and good for the Sanctuary fans who like Will/Helen: I wrote more fic last night. It may be done later today, if my fandom headache abates.
Please note: I am NOT making any equation that liking Will/Helen = good, and not liking = bad. I feel like it's ridiculous that I need to say that, but in light of my own lecturing about tone and incivility, I want to be clear: I think it's absolutely lovely for you to ship whoever you like.
Of the not good:
OH in fandom way too often: Strong Woman Character would Never Let Herself Be Domestically Abused so stop writing about it happening.
Wow. Way to shame all the women out there who "Let" domestic abuse happen to them. (thanks to silensy who always finds the short words for my long ones.) ETA: Sil said blame, and I think I probably meant that, but for the sake of historical accuracy, I make note rather than edit the comment.
*
OH in fandom also way too often: Stop Weakening my favorite Strong Woman Character by making her get married and/or have babies.
Being Maternal or Traditionally Married is not a weakness. It's a choice. And one that you have every right not to make. But can you find a way to say "I hate it when you make my favorite SWC have babies and get married" without saying "you're a dick for doing it"?
*
Closing thought: I feel like I'm spending a lot of time lately making an argument that treads dangerously upon the domain of the issue of Tone.
For example:
Fan A: Writes a fic where all of the POCs are janitors.
Fan B: That's pretty racist.
Fan A: I'm not a racist, how dare you say that?!
Fan B: Explains with Loud Capitals.
Fan A: Don't take that tone with me; it's rude.
Fan B: You were rude first by being racist.
I agree with Fan B. If you're being racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, etc., you're already being beyond rude. You've already raised your tone. So you can't go saying, "Don't take that tone with me."
On the other hand, if you love weddings and babies, as long as you're not saying you have to get married or have babies to be a real woman, or running around bashing femmeslash for being anti-something or other, there's no rudeness there. So it's not cool to respond to:
Fan A: Writes a fic where SWC has a baby.
with
Fan B: I hate when you make my SWCs have babies and get married; stop writing that! Implication: You're a bad feminist.
But on the third hand, the debate about what constitutes being a good feminist (and even whether we have an obligation to be a good feminists) is a completely legitimate and necessary debate.
So, this Old Fandom Hag is struggling today. Where's the line between useful debate and downright incivility? How do we learn to Not Like Things without Being Dicks about the Things We Don't Like?