not to be tappered with...
Back at the grinder.
after many hugs, many tears, many laughs and many plasters; life has gotten back to its regular course; like some dryed up river that finds its bed when it rains.
I am not ok with what happened. I never will. It is shitty, unfair, it sucks and absolutly no one (except my worst enemy) should have to go through that.... But I wont let it define me either.
I can already feel that ''attempt no2'' will be alot less bubbly and hopeful than the last. Maybe its the last 4 days of hormones boosters.?. I dont remember it being so hard last time but this time my body felt like it was of speed while my head was larping being bipolar: which seriously sucked.
I am a little worried to see, in the next few days, how much of it was mine and how much of it I can blame on foreign hormonal supplement. I really hope I didnt turn bipolar over the last week.
The seams on my belly have healed fine (finally) but not at all sycroniciously. the lower one is a ''nice'' purplish scar, the middle one is a purplish scar with pesky surgical tread that is supposed to go away by itselfbut just doesnt and get stuck in your clothes all the time, and the navel one, which is just a scab with tread comng out of it... if you look fast t looks like a a giant navel fuzz...
it s not terribly pretty but I dont think it was meant to be. At leat I can stop asking myself if I want another scarification ...
the answer is no.
after many hugs, many tears, many laughs and many plasters; life has gotten back to its regular course; like some dryed up river that finds its bed when it rains.
I am not ok with what happened. I never will. It is shitty, unfair, it sucks and absolutly no one (except my worst enemy) should have to go through that.... But I wont let it define me either.
I can already feel that ''attempt no2'' will be alot less bubbly and hopeful than the last. Maybe its the last 4 days of hormones boosters.?. I dont remember it being so hard last time but this time my body felt like it was of speed while my head was larping being bipolar: which seriously sucked.
I am a little worried to see, in the next few days, how much of it was mine and how much of it I can blame on foreign hormonal supplement. I really hope I didnt turn bipolar over the last week.
The seams on my belly have healed fine (finally) but not at all sycroniciously. the lower one is a ''nice'' purplish scar, the middle one is a purplish scar with pesky surgical tread that is supposed to go away by itselfbut just doesnt and get stuck in your clothes all the time, and the navel one, which is just a scab with tread comng out of it... if you look fast t looks like a a giant navel fuzz...
it s not terribly pretty but I dont think it was meant to be. At leat I can stop asking myself if I want another scarification ...
the answer is no.