At Rest
Our favorite, my Grandpa Tom, passed away at 8:35pm Thursday, September 8th.
The story of his final moment is beautiful.
First though lemme back up to a few days before...maybe 72 hours. For two days his blood pressure held at 50 over NOTHING. After a final visit from his two remaining sisters, his vitals were checked again and his blood pressure was NOTHING over NOTHING. It was this that actually began his last 24 hours; he lived nearly a full day without his blood circulating at any measurable amount; his heart and spirit were that strong.
My mom got a lot of time alone with him in these last 24 hours.
She spoke on her sister Lydia's behalf (the one who refused to come) saying that he'd been a wonderful father, that she loved him very much, and that she couldn't come 'cause her wife Lynn was also very sick and dying.
She told him that she wanted to be sure he knew that she was honored to have cared for him all these years and that he was never a burden and she would do it all over again. She told him that if he went while she was there she'd be fine and that if she wasn't there when the time came to please not wait for her.
My parents were with him that whole last day; they'd relieved my mom's sister Irene and my Grandma Lorraine that morning, so that they could go home, sleep, shower, and eat. My aunt and grandma returned that evening and relieved my parents just before it happened. My parents were sent to get dinner for everyone and while they were in the drive-thru line they got a text "come back" and then shortly following another "come back now." They didn't make it before it was done, but he'd waited for my grandma to return and she and my aunt Irene witnessed the beauty of his passing.
It was told that my grandma and Irene were just in the room talking with him and each other and Irene saw a smile come over his face. She's a nurse and was cuing into to what was happening she sent her husband, my Uncle Huedo to fetch the doctor. My aunt brought my grandma's attention to my grandfather and together they saw the smile. And then tears ran from both his eyes and he went, passing from this world to whatever might be beyond.
Spiritually I am confused a lot of family and friends of family rationalize and attempt to comfort me with very Christian language and that is ok; I appreciate the sentiment and sometimes know that the words they're speaking are meant to comfort themselves as well as me. It does seem to me that there must be something divine, but that is too great for me to know it in this lifetime.
To me it's miraculous that someone who didn't have blood circulating to his brain properly (and whose feet had turned cold and purple) for three long days could smile and tear upon deaths door. Maybe something divine recieved a great gift in my grandfather's soul being released yesterday. Maybe some day I'll know.
Today I am just grateful to have had him as long as we did and honored to carry on his legacy to future generations.
I called Grandma Lorraine and my sister Tamara this morning to tell them I loved them. Tamara had a wonderful dream to share, a dream that had woke her the morning of our grandpa's death. She said she was in a hospital and grandpa had heard her voice in the hall and called out to her. My sister came to him and asked, "what's wrong?" "Tamara it's my heart." She held her hand to his chest and felt his barely beating heart. In the dream she said her goodbyes all over again. Told him how much better she was for having him in her life, how he was never a burden and how she was honored to have lived with and taken care of him. And then she woke, feeling today (9/8) was the day and it was.
Writing this is like ACTUALLY writing magical realism. In my mind I am taken back to Rudolpho Anya's Bless Me Ultima or Chris Albani's Graceland. I guess stories like this exist in most cutures--stories that try to explain the unexplainable or incarnate our visions and dreams into spirits...
Again, I don't know if anything lies beyond this life. Grandpa's passing embodied as much love and joy as I am certain the day of his birth did. Thus, we've come full circle. Rest in peace Thomas Garcia December 21, 1921-September 8, 2011.
The story of his final moment is beautiful.
First though lemme back up to a few days before...maybe 72 hours. For two days his blood pressure held at 50 over NOTHING. After a final visit from his two remaining sisters, his vitals were checked again and his blood pressure was NOTHING over NOTHING. It was this that actually began his last 24 hours; he lived nearly a full day without his blood circulating at any measurable amount; his heart and spirit were that strong.
My mom got a lot of time alone with him in these last 24 hours.
She spoke on her sister Lydia's behalf (the one who refused to come) saying that he'd been a wonderful father, that she loved him very much, and that she couldn't come 'cause her wife Lynn was also very sick and dying.
She told him that she wanted to be sure he knew that she was honored to have cared for him all these years and that he was never a burden and she would do it all over again. She told him that if he went while she was there she'd be fine and that if she wasn't there when the time came to please not wait for her.
My parents were with him that whole last day; they'd relieved my mom's sister Irene and my Grandma Lorraine that morning, so that they could go home, sleep, shower, and eat. My aunt and grandma returned that evening and relieved my parents just before it happened. My parents were sent to get dinner for everyone and while they were in the drive-thru line they got a text "come back" and then shortly following another "come back now." They didn't make it before it was done, but he'd waited for my grandma to return and she and my aunt Irene witnessed the beauty of his passing.
It was told that my grandma and Irene were just in the room talking with him and each other and Irene saw a smile come over his face. She's a nurse and was cuing into to what was happening she sent her husband, my Uncle Huedo to fetch the doctor. My aunt brought my grandma's attention to my grandfather and together they saw the smile. And then tears ran from both his eyes and he went, passing from this world to whatever might be beyond.
Spiritually I am confused a lot of family and friends of family rationalize and attempt to comfort me with very Christian language and that is ok; I appreciate the sentiment and sometimes know that the words they're speaking are meant to comfort themselves as well as me. It does seem to me that there must be something divine, but that is too great for me to know it in this lifetime.
To me it's miraculous that someone who didn't have blood circulating to his brain properly (and whose feet had turned cold and purple) for three long days could smile and tear upon deaths door. Maybe something divine recieved a great gift in my grandfather's soul being released yesterday. Maybe some day I'll know.
Today I am just grateful to have had him as long as we did and honored to carry on his legacy to future generations.
I called Grandma Lorraine and my sister Tamara this morning to tell them I loved them. Tamara had a wonderful dream to share, a dream that had woke her the morning of our grandpa's death. She said she was in a hospital and grandpa had heard her voice in the hall and called out to her. My sister came to him and asked, "what's wrong?" "Tamara it's my heart." She held her hand to his chest and felt his barely beating heart. In the dream she said her goodbyes all over again. Told him how much better she was for having him in her life, how he was never a burden and how she was honored to have lived with and taken care of him. And then she woke, feeling today (9/8) was the day and it was.
Writing this is like ACTUALLY writing magical realism. In my mind I am taken back to Rudolpho Anya's Bless Me Ultima or Chris Albani's Graceland. I guess stories like this exist in most cutures--stories that try to explain the unexplainable or incarnate our visions and dreams into spirits...
Again, I don't know if anything lies beyond this life. Grandpa's passing embodied as much love and joy as I am certain the day of his birth did. Thus, we've come full circle. Rest in peace Thomas Garcia December 21, 1921-September 8, 2011.