The End is Near
Really difficult night. Lots of tears. We're headed into the 4th day in a row of the doctor telling us today is likely when he'll pass. His blood pressure was 50 over NOTHING for two days and today, after a final visit from his two remaining sisters, his blood pressure dropped to NOTHING over NOTHING. His blood is not circulating and yet he lives. His will is strong and his heart is stronger and that is what is keeping him breathing. Family is pulling all the stops to satisfy any possible need or want he might fathom to be able to let go and pass on. They brought him his cat. They tried leaving him alone...
There is only one person that has not and will not come to say goodbye. He has a daughter Lydia who he's not seen in 30+years. She, my aunt Lydia, has been called multiple times and pleaded with, even to just say something to him over the phone with us holding it to his ear. She refuses.
Maybe this isn't something he needs or wants, but it certainly feels like we've done everything else to make sure he knows he's loved, appreciated and know that he will be greatly missed. For a moment tonight I hated her. I've met the woman once in my life (for an hour or two when I was 18 and felt more affection for her partner Lynn than her) and I was just so angry. She claims to love her father (her beef is with his wife, my grandmother). So WHY? Bleh!
Anyway so I had a good cry and am done thinking about his daughter Lydia. Something I've always felt is HATE takes just as much energy as love and she's not worth my energy.
I wait and hope peace comes to him soon. Love you so much Grandpa Tom. xo
There is only one person that has not and will not come to say goodbye. He has a daughter Lydia who he's not seen in 30+years. She, my aunt Lydia, has been called multiple times and pleaded with, even to just say something to him over the phone with us holding it to his ear. She refuses.
Maybe this isn't something he needs or wants, but it certainly feels like we've done everything else to make sure he knows he's loved, appreciated and know that he will be greatly missed. For a moment tonight I hated her. I've met the woman once in my life (for an hour or two when I was 18 and felt more affection for her partner Lynn than her) and I was just so angry. She claims to love her father (her beef is with his wife, my grandmother). So WHY? Bleh!
Anyway so I had a good cry and am done thinking about his daughter Lydia. Something I've always felt is HATE takes just as much energy as love and she's not worth my energy.
I wait and hope peace comes to him soon. Love you so much Grandpa Tom. xo