Rose Tyler Writes Fanfiction!
Title: Serenity, Biscuits, and a Daring Rescue
Disclaimer: Rose Tyler does not own ‘Firefly.’ She is not making any money off this and asks you very nicely not to sue her.
Pairing: Simon/Kaylee
Summary: Rose writes Simon/Kaylee fanfiction while the Doctor (Ten) leans over her should and makes generally obnoxious comments.
The "pick a character in any fandom and write them writing fanfic about their favourite fandom" meme. I posted it to my livejournal a while back, but I went through and edited it (and added to it! :D :D) and now present it here for the world at large. Eeeeeep!
Thanks to threerings for inadvertently reminding me about this.
Kaylee’s eyes fluttered open and she gave a happy sigh. Nothing, she decided, could be better than waking up in the morning next to Dr. Simon Tam. She gave a great big stretch and a yawn, staring at the ceiling with a sleepy smile on her face. Every part of her body seemed to tingle; a reminder of yesterday’s activities.
Doctor: Right! Like after ‘running away very quickly.’ Or-I know! A scintillating game of hide-and-go-seek.
Rose: [rolling her eyes] Doctor, not everyone has lived like a monk for the last four centuries.
First, Simon had surprised her in the engine room when she’d been busy trying to repair the engine with her perfectly ordinary screwdriver and wrench. Afterwards, they’d slipped, giggling, through Serenity’s corridors until they reached the showers. She’d just been so grimy from working on the engine! Simon had only been too happy to follow her in. Being a doctor and all, he was able to set the temperature at just the right-
Doctor: No, sorry. Hold on. I can’t do this.
Rose: What’s wrong?
Doctor: It’s just… not canon! Honestly, Rose, have you seen that ship? I doubt they have anything resembling showers. And even if they do, I’m not entirely certain it would be sanitary.
Rose: You know, sometimes canon is just a five letter word that can mean anything from “looms” to “half-human” to “goldfish.”
Doctor: [suspicious] How did you know about the goldfish thing?
Rose: Oh, god. That’s true?
Doctor: [beat] No….
Rose: Moving on.
Kaylee watched as Simon’s eyes fluttered open.
“Heya,” she chirped. “Morning.”
They smiled sweetly at each other.
Kaylee leaned into his arms and sighed. “Definitely a good morning,” she declared after a minute. “You don’t got to run off and take care of River, do ya’?”
Simon leaned down to nuzzle her neck. “Not for a while.”
“Shiny.”
Doctor: PLEASE tell me they do something in here besides shag.
Rose: Oh, there’s TOTALLY an exciting rescue coming up!
Doctor: [cheerful] Okay, then. Let’s skip to that. Also, I don’t think there’s a comma in “Kaylee leaned into his, arms and sighed.”
Rose: That’s not a comma. That’s a biscuit crumb.
Doctor: [puts on specs] Oh. OOH. [licks paper]
Rose: [stares]
Doctor: Chocolate chip!
Kaylee couldn’t believe it. They’d gone and taken Simon.
“I’ve gotta do something,” she announced. She stood up and raised her chin.
As usual, no one paid her any attention. Inara was running back and forth between the galley and her shuttle (like that was going to accomplish anything), Jayne looked like his birthday had come early, and Captain and Zoe appeared to be hatching a plan that primarily involved big guns.
Kaylee jumped when she felt River’s hand on her wrist.
“I’m listening,” River said.
Kaylee stared at her and then gave a firm nod. “Okay, then. I’m gonna do it, River. I’m going to rescue Simon. All on my own.”
Doctor: Hang on, Simon was captured? By who?
Rose: [shrugging] Dunno. You made me skip all the back-story.
Doctor: I didn’t… [gives up]. And Kaylee’s going to rescue him? *Really?*
Rose: Why, what’s wrong with that? Just ‘cause he has all that fancy education and Kaylee grew up in the Rim doesn’t mean he’s smarter than her! She probably has to pull him out of danger all the time because he’s a great big idiot who thinks it’s fun to insult people and then run away!
Doctor: [long pause] Yes! Sorry! Of course Simon thinks she’s brilliant. One of the most brilliant people he’s ever met. Brilliant, fantastic… um… [begins flipping through a thesaurus] incredible?
Rose: Awwwwww!
Doctor and Rose: [impromptu snuggle]
Kaylee scrambled out from behind a hedge and brushed pine needles out of her eyes. She considered her options.
She hadn’t brought a gun. She knew it was the Captain and Zoe’s solution to practically everything, but she hated the idea of holding that sort of power in her own hands. You could kill another living person with a gun.
Kaylee didn’t want to kill anybody. She just wanted Simon back.
Doctor: Hmmpffff.
Rose: What?
Doctor: [hedging] Nothing.
Rose: Oh, come on. Your eyebrows are all screwed up like you want to say something.
Doctor: It’s just… it’s not like Simon’s the *only* one who gets into trouble! “Don’t wander off!” It’s simple! It’s only three words! It’s not, “Ooh, I’ll go investigate this alien living in the tele and get my face sucked off.”
Rose: [blushing] Are we still talking about Kaylee?
Doctor: Don’t know. Who are *you* talking about?
Rose: Have a biscuit.
Doctor: Okay!
If there was one thing Kaylee was sure of in this ‘verse, it was engines. Machines of any sort, really. She figured, if she could just get close enough to the building, she could rig one up well enough.
She ducked under a hole in the fence and then examined the door. Electronic lock! She surely had them now.
That was when Simon BURST out of the building on a horse. Mind you, he had never actually ridden a horse before, but it only took him moments to pick it up. Simon was really quite brilliant at everything.
Though that was a bit odd, wasn’t it? What was a horse doing sitting around in a kidnapper’s lair? Unless-no! Maybe it wasn’t really a lair at all? But a genetic laboratory, tucked away in the far corners of the earth-
Rose: DOCTOR! Simon does NOT have a horse! Give me that back!
Doctor: [deflating] But…
Rose: If you want a horse, you’re gonna have to write your own.
Doctor: Pah! Like I would waste time on fanfiction. [hastily moves to cover up fluffy Zoe/Wash fic]
“Kaylee!” Simon said. “What are you doing here?”
Simon jumped down from the horse.
Doctor: Ha! You kept the horse!
Rose: [puts a biscuit in his mouth]
“Simon!”
They ran and met each other in a giant hug.
“I was so worried!” Kaylee said. “But I was workin’ on a plan to get you out. I was gonna shut down all the installation codes and then blow ‘em outta the ground.”
“Blow them up?” Simon said. “With me still inside?”
Kaylee frowned. “Well, would’a been the fastest way in.”
Simon tugged at his ear. “Thank god you showed up.”
Doctor: Do they ride the horse back to the ship? [huge hopeful eyes]
Rose: [giving in] I guess so.
Doctor: And then do they keep the horse?
Rose: Oh, I suppose. It could live in the showers.
Doctor: That’s the spirit!
Kaylee and Simon arrived back at Serenity just as the Captain, Zoe, and Jayne descended from the ramp, about fifty weapons distributed between them.
“Found ‘im!” Kaylee said cheerfully
There was a disbelieving silence and then River ran over to hug them both. “I knew you could do it!” she whispered in Kaylee’s ear.
Kaylee and Simon beamed.
“Well, hell,” Jayne said. “Who’d a thunk little Kaylee’d be the one takin’ charge and giving out orders?”
Mal smacked him in the back of the head. “I think it’s mighty fine of you, Kaylee.”
“Why, thank you, Cap’n,” Kaylee said, blushing.
Simon grinned and then leaned over to give her a proud kiss.
“None of that,” Mal said. “Public places, people!”
“Oh, Mal, leave them alone,” Inara said. “They’re in love!” There was a suspicious hint of moisture in her eyes. Mal’s mouth immediately snapped shut.
It was only when they were back inside the cargo bay that Kaylee dropped her bombshell.
“I have something to tell y’all,” Kaylee said. “Somethin’ I been keeping to myself for a while now.”
Everyone immediately silenced, somehow sensing the importance of Kaylee’s words.
She swallowed. “I think I’m pregnant.” She dropped Simon’s hand and stared hard at the catwalk. “And the baby might be Jayne’s.”
THE END
More? Leave feedback, plz!
Doctor: [exploding] WHAT?!
Rose: Just wait. This is the best way to get loads of comments. You’ll see.
Doctor: But… but!!!
Rose: Oh, I dunno. Do you think I should change it?
Doctor: YES! I’ll have you know, *some* people like the dark-haired, well-educated and passive type. Even if they are a little on the thin side!
Rose: [blinks]
Doctor: [suddenly intensely interested in studying the scientific make up of the biscuits with the sonic screwdriver]
Rose: It’s my favourite type.
Doctor: [brightening] Really?
Rose: Yeah!
Doctor and Rose: [impromptu snuggle]
Doctor: So... it is Simon's, right?
Rose: [smug] Nope, not telling. You're just going to have to wait for the second part like everyone else.
Doctor: [pinched look] How about the Olympics?! That sounds brilliant, doesn't it? LET'S GO! [grabs hand and RUNS LIKE HELL]
Disclaimer: Rose Tyler does not own ‘Firefly.’ She is not making any money off this and asks you very nicely not to sue her.
Pairing: Simon/Kaylee
Summary: Rose writes Simon/Kaylee fanfiction while the Doctor (Ten) leans over her should and makes generally obnoxious comments.
The "pick a character in any fandom and write them writing fanfic about their favourite fandom" meme. I posted it to my livejournal a while back, but I went through and edited it (and added to it! :D :D) and now present it here for the world at large. Eeeeeep!
Thanks to threerings for inadvertently reminding me about this.
Kaylee’s eyes fluttered open and she gave a happy sigh. Nothing, she decided, could be better than waking up in the morning next to Dr. Simon Tam. She gave a great big stretch and a yawn, staring at the ceiling with a sleepy smile on her face. Every part of her body seemed to tingle; a reminder of yesterday’s activities.
Doctor: Right! Like after ‘running away very quickly.’ Or-I know! A scintillating game of hide-and-go-seek.
Rose: [rolling her eyes] Doctor, not everyone has lived like a monk for the last four centuries.
First, Simon had surprised her in the engine room when she’d been busy trying to repair the engine with her perfectly ordinary screwdriver and wrench. Afterwards, they’d slipped, giggling, through Serenity’s corridors until they reached the showers. She’d just been so grimy from working on the engine! Simon had only been too happy to follow her in. Being a doctor and all, he was able to set the temperature at just the right-
Doctor: No, sorry. Hold on. I can’t do this.
Rose: What’s wrong?
Doctor: It’s just… not canon! Honestly, Rose, have you seen that ship? I doubt they have anything resembling showers. And even if they do, I’m not entirely certain it would be sanitary.
Rose: You know, sometimes canon is just a five letter word that can mean anything from “looms” to “half-human” to “goldfish.”
Doctor: [suspicious] How did you know about the goldfish thing?
Rose: Oh, god. That’s true?
Doctor: [beat] No….
Rose: Moving on.
Kaylee watched as Simon’s eyes fluttered open.
“Heya,” she chirped. “Morning.”
They smiled sweetly at each other.
Kaylee leaned into his arms and sighed. “Definitely a good morning,” she declared after a minute. “You don’t got to run off and take care of River, do ya’?”
Simon leaned down to nuzzle her neck. “Not for a while.”
“Shiny.”
Doctor: PLEASE tell me they do something in here besides shag.
Rose: Oh, there’s TOTALLY an exciting rescue coming up!
Doctor: [cheerful] Okay, then. Let’s skip to that. Also, I don’t think there’s a comma in “Kaylee leaned into his, arms and sighed.”
Rose: That’s not a comma. That’s a biscuit crumb.
Doctor: [puts on specs] Oh. OOH. [licks paper]
Rose: [stares]
Doctor: Chocolate chip!
Kaylee couldn’t believe it. They’d gone and taken Simon.
“I’ve gotta do something,” she announced. She stood up and raised her chin.
As usual, no one paid her any attention. Inara was running back and forth between the galley and her shuttle (like that was going to accomplish anything), Jayne looked like his birthday had come early, and Captain and Zoe appeared to be hatching a plan that primarily involved big guns.
Kaylee jumped when she felt River’s hand on her wrist.
“I’m listening,” River said.
Kaylee stared at her and then gave a firm nod. “Okay, then. I’m gonna do it, River. I’m going to rescue Simon. All on my own.”
Doctor: Hang on, Simon was captured? By who?
Rose: [shrugging] Dunno. You made me skip all the back-story.
Doctor: I didn’t… [gives up]. And Kaylee’s going to rescue him? *Really?*
Rose: Why, what’s wrong with that? Just ‘cause he has all that fancy education and Kaylee grew up in the Rim doesn’t mean he’s smarter than her! She probably has to pull him out of danger all the time because he’s a great big idiot who thinks it’s fun to insult people and then run away!
Doctor: [long pause] Yes! Sorry! Of course Simon thinks she’s brilliant. One of the most brilliant people he’s ever met. Brilliant, fantastic… um… [begins flipping through a thesaurus] incredible?
Rose: Awwwwww!
Doctor and Rose: [impromptu snuggle]
Kaylee scrambled out from behind a hedge and brushed pine needles out of her eyes. She considered her options.
She hadn’t brought a gun. She knew it was the Captain and Zoe’s solution to practically everything, but she hated the idea of holding that sort of power in her own hands. You could kill another living person with a gun.
Kaylee didn’t want to kill anybody. She just wanted Simon back.
Doctor: Hmmpffff.
Rose: What?
Doctor: [hedging] Nothing.
Rose: Oh, come on. Your eyebrows are all screwed up like you want to say something.
Doctor: It’s just… it’s not like Simon’s the *only* one who gets into trouble! “Don’t wander off!” It’s simple! It’s only three words! It’s not, “Ooh, I’ll go investigate this alien living in the tele and get my face sucked off.”
Rose: [blushing] Are we still talking about Kaylee?
Doctor: Don’t know. Who are *you* talking about?
Rose: Have a biscuit.
Doctor: Okay!
If there was one thing Kaylee was sure of in this ‘verse, it was engines. Machines of any sort, really. She figured, if she could just get close enough to the building, she could rig one up well enough.
She ducked under a hole in the fence and then examined the door. Electronic lock! She surely had them now.
That was when Simon BURST out of the building on a horse. Mind you, he had never actually ridden a horse before, but it only took him moments to pick it up. Simon was really quite brilliant at everything.
Though that was a bit odd, wasn’t it? What was a horse doing sitting around in a kidnapper’s lair? Unless-no! Maybe it wasn’t really a lair at all? But a genetic laboratory, tucked away in the far corners of the earth-
Rose: DOCTOR! Simon does NOT have a horse! Give me that back!
Doctor: [deflating] But…
Rose: If you want a horse, you’re gonna have to write your own.
Doctor: Pah! Like I would waste time on fanfiction. [hastily moves to cover up fluffy Zoe/Wash fic]
“Kaylee!” Simon said. “What are you doing here?”
Simon jumped down from the horse.
Doctor: Ha! You kept the horse!
Rose: [puts a biscuit in his mouth]
“Simon!”
They ran and met each other in a giant hug.
“I was so worried!” Kaylee said. “But I was workin’ on a plan to get you out. I was gonna shut down all the installation codes and then blow ‘em outta the ground.”
“Blow them up?” Simon said. “With me still inside?”
Kaylee frowned. “Well, would’a been the fastest way in.”
Simon tugged at his ear. “Thank god you showed up.”
Doctor: Do they ride the horse back to the ship? [huge hopeful eyes]
Rose: [giving in] I guess so.
Doctor: And then do they keep the horse?
Rose: Oh, I suppose. It could live in the showers.
Doctor: That’s the spirit!
Kaylee and Simon arrived back at Serenity just as the Captain, Zoe, and Jayne descended from the ramp, about fifty weapons distributed between them.
“Found ‘im!” Kaylee said cheerfully
There was a disbelieving silence and then River ran over to hug them both. “I knew you could do it!” she whispered in Kaylee’s ear.
Kaylee and Simon beamed.
“Well, hell,” Jayne said. “Who’d a thunk little Kaylee’d be the one takin’ charge and giving out orders?”
Mal smacked him in the back of the head. “I think it’s mighty fine of you, Kaylee.”
“Why, thank you, Cap’n,” Kaylee said, blushing.
Simon grinned and then leaned over to give her a proud kiss.
“None of that,” Mal said. “Public places, people!”
“Oh, Mal, leave them alone,” Inara said. “They’re in love!” There was a suspicious hint of moisture in her eyes. Mal’s mouth immediately snapped shut.
It was only when they were back inside the cargo bay that Kaylee dropped her bombshell.
“I have something to tell y’all,” Kaylee said. “Somethin’ I been keeping to myself for a while now.”
Everyone immediately silenced, somehow sensing the importance of Kaylee’s words.
She swallowed. “I think I’m pregnant.” She dropped Simon’s hand and stared hard at the catwalk. “And the baby might be Jayne’s.”
THE END
More? Leave feedback, plz!
Doctor: [exploding] WHAT?!
Rose: Just wait. This is the best way to get loads of comments. You’ll see.
Doctor: But… but!!!
Rose: Oh, I dunno. Do you think I should change it?
Doctor: YES! I’ll have you know, *some* people like the dark-haired, well-educated and passive type. Even if they are a little on the thin side!
Rose: [blinks]
Doctor: [suddenly intensely interested in studying the scientific make up of the biscuits with the sonic screwdriver]
Rose: It’s my favourite type.
Doctor: [brightening] Really?
Rose: Yeah!
Doctor and Rose: [impromptu snuggle]
Doctor: So... it is Simon's, right?
Rose: [smug] Nope, not telling. You're just going to have to wait for the second part like everyone else.
Doctor: [pinched look] How about the Olympics?! That sounds brilliant, doesn't it? LET'S GO! [grabs hand and RUNS LIKE HELL]