The Anatomy of a G/R Cock Sock: A Lecture to the Society of Cockologists
Introduction
On the basis of retrospective analyses of cock socks, I have evaluated a selection of cock-flashing scenes in Queer as Folk utilizing the latest scientific methods *cough* and may have uncovered *cough again* some new and some significantly bigger findings.
Materials & Method
- Photoshit and B/J screencaps
- G/R height data
- Cocksock quote
- A little imagination (but not much!)
Combine all and stir up a little prOn discussion.
Warning
Contains nekkidness and images of intense interest from 512. Audience participation required. And if you have dial-up, you seriously, seriously need to get broadband.
Disclaimer
I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies scrutinizin’ no socks.
Discussion
First, let’s start with the bare (or not so bare) essentials.
As most people know, the cock sock is a bit of a misnomer and technically should be called the cock-and-balls sock.
Here's a quote by Scott Lowell: "And they really leave it up to you in terms of if you want to be fully naked, if you want to be wearing what we call the “cock sock.” That’s a flesh-colored jewel pouch that you can kind of stuff your goodies into."
Hence we must screwtinize (very sic) whether Gale and Randy stuffed-or didn’t stuff-their goodies.
We haven’t been given a lot of clear full-frontal material to work with but, through the wonders of science, the pixels of importance have been highlighted where possible.
First, let’s examine what clearly appears to be a cocksockless Gale. Note there is a vertical line of demarcation but not a horizontal one. Of course that could be simply due to light flare.
Lick Click the dick if you need to inspect more closely.
Figure 101-1
No need to jump to any conclusions *ahem* yet. On second thoughts, please feel free to use the electronic voting buttons next to the personal monitor on the seat in front of you.
Poll
And what do we have here? Gale’s or Randy’s?
Figure 403-1
Now let’s see Gale thrust those hips and lift that bubble butt.
Figure 403-2
So that’s how you make a cock sock bigger *smirk*.
Next up (well, not quite) are Randy and Gale for a side-by-side comparison.
Figures 402-1 & 205-1
Unfortunately, I don’t have the idiocy and patience technology to animate one of the components for those who haven’t seen Equus.
To make up for that, I’ll show everyone that Randy’s big strawberry-blondish bush has featured clearly on QaF this season. I was almost going to question whether QaF had pubic wigs (as well as cock socks) but I didn’t not want to visualize that scene in Scary Movie.
Figure 501-1
Figure 501-2
What a pleasure it must be for Gale (and *grumble* Simon) to press his nose and hands in it. Apologies - that wasn’t very scientific.
Before we really put things under the microscope-ok, bad analogy-I’d like to thank the people who supplied me with Gale’s and Randy’s height measurements which then enabled me to extrapolate other important data (with at least 90% accuracy).
Ok, get out your tape measures.
Then pretend you have really bad eyesight and are not wearing your glasses. You may also have to brush away Gale’s untrimmed pubic hair. I hope the rub-and-sniff feature on your monitors is working.
Figure 402-2
Figure 205-2
Note to Galeaholics who completed the G/R height survey: no, you can’t change your minds and make Gale 6'3 and Randy 5'6, ktnx.
But here’s another Gale example to study just in case the result of the other was skewed by a particularly cold day in the studio (I guess there are valid reasons for wearing a cock sock).
If you start to feel giddy want a more distant viewpoint, you know what to touch click.
Figures 410-1 & 410-2
Results
The analyses show Gale to be approx 4" (if you stretch it a little) and Randy approx 4.6" softserve, once hair and sockage have been eliminated from the study.
It’s fairly obvious who appears to come out on top in the girth stakes too. But it makes me wonder why Brian has such pained expressions when he does the fucking but didn’t emit the slightest wince when the position was reversed - and without a hint of preparation. I can only conclude that the Brian!asshole wins in the magnitude department.
The first person who is insane bold enough admit they actually licked measured will receive a little-well, not that little-something.
Further Discussion
Let’s have a quick look at the following crappy-cap sequence.
Figures 502-1 & 502-2
And something suddenly appears out of the shadows...
Figure 502-3
Ok, that's either one hell of a pee slit or he's practised origami with his cocksock *lol*
So here’s another bit of, um, data which some people have viewed previously.
Figure 412-1
Stroke Click on the following dpic for a schematic diagram which narrows down (poor choice of phrase) the, err, width.
Figures 412-2 & 412-3
Finally, I present the research you’ve all been waiting for. Please note that I have eliminated Kim and Simon from this study.
To stimulate your brain, I have put up some sexamples so you’ll get a better picture of what we’ll be examining later on (and many thanks to
chocwaferbite for the, um, heads up).
Figures 512-1
Figure 512-2
Figure 512-3
Now, I don’t want anyone to think that the schematic diagram above is meant to represent an erection or insertion of any kind. What kind of educator do you think I am? OK, don’t answer that. All I’m alluding to is that maybe, just maybe, Gale found the spot where Randy’s thigh meets his groin a nice hard silky place to rub rest it.
Take a long, hard look an objective view of the following cap.
If your vision or perspective isn’t good, you can make things a little clearer by clicking on it, err, them.
Figure 512-4 & 512-5
And here’s a B&W representation to throw the, uh, images into relief. And us into a hot bother.
Figure 512-6
Either that’s a very sheer cock sock or it *cough* accidentally slipped off. Could someone *cough* please hand me a glass of water? Make that a jug of very cold water and pour it over me.
The first person to use the word starting with ‘F’ which doesn’t mean fucking-not literally anyway-will be sent straight to the Head of Cockology for a spanking. Or should that be the Head of Assatomy? And because I’m a professional I'll also give that person a clearer example of the subject.
I was going to speculate whether Randy wore a padded sock but then I thought there would be too many people here who would refute that because *snarky/jealous voice* they know from first-hand experience. I’m just sayin’ that, if it were me, I would have a full-blown erection if I was rubbing up against Gale without desensitizing agents. OK, I just realized that was a stupid comment. I meant to say I would have an orgasm dressed in a well-padded ski-suit from head-to-toe if Gale simply lay on top of me. But that’s just me. Well, maybe not just me. Of course that doesn’t explain why Gale doesn’t then wear a padded one but maybe he has desensitizing help of a different kind, like something you take to make you mellow, you know. Well, you think you know, but you don’t know, you know?
Conclusion
Teary is a very naughty girl.
It is also vital that the G/R cock sock be iconized for posterity.
All right, if you must know the answer to the bigger question: 6.9" and 6.3" respectively :P.
Acknowledgements
This is for everyone who has ever given me or posted and commented something to inspire this insanity.
Key words (aka tags): cock, sock, Gale, Randy
--------------------------
If anyone wishes to submit any interesting, decent quality caps that you think require further analysis, please do so. It’s all in the name of science *straight face - barely*.
Thank you for your time. And don’t forget to hand in your evaluation forms before you leave to participate in the more serious meta discussions scheduled in other lecture theatres :D.
On the basis of retrospective analyses of cock socks, I have evaluated a selection of cock-flashing scenes in Queer as Folk utilizing the latest scientific methods *cough* and may have uncovered *cough again* some new and some significantly bigger findings.
Materials & Method
- Photoshit and B/J screencaps
- G/R height data
- Cocksock quote
- A little imagination (but not much!)
Combine all and stir up a little prOn discussion.
Warning
Contains nekkidness and images of intense interest from 512. Audience participation required. And if you have dial-up, you seriously, seriously need to get broadband.
Disclaimer
I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies scrutinizin’ no socks.
Discussion
First, let’s start with the bare (or not so bare) essentials.
As most people know, the cock sock is a bit of a misnomer and technically should be called the cock-and-balls sock.
Here's a quote by Scott Lowell: "And they really leave it up to you in terms of if you want to be fully naked, if you want to be wearing what we call the “cock sock.” That’s a flesh-colored jewel pouch that you can kind of stuff your goodies into."
Hence we must screwtinize (very sic) whether Gale and Randy stuffed-or didn’t stuff-their goodies.
We haven’t been given a lot of clear full-frontal material to work with but, through the wonders of science, the pixels of importance have been highlighted where possible.
First, let’s examine what clearly appears to be a cocksockless Gale. Note there is a vertical line of demarcation but not a horizontal one. Of course that could be simply due to light flare.
Lick Click the dick if you need to inspect more closely.
Figure 101-1
No need to jump to any conclusions *ahem* yet. On second thoughts, please feel free to use the electronic voting buttons next to the personal monitor on the seat in front of you.
Poll
And what do we have here? Gale’s or Randy’s?
Figure 403-1
Now let’s see Gale thrust those hips and lift that bubble butt.
Figure 403-2
So that’s how you make a cock sock bigger *smirk*.
Next up (well, not quite) are Randy and Gale for a side-by-side comparison.
Figures 402-1 & 205-1
Unfortunately, I don’t have the idiocy and patience technology to animate one of the components for those who haven’t seen Equus.
To make up for that, I’ll show everyone that Randy’s big strawberry-blondish bush has featured clearly on QaF this season. I was almost going to question whether QaF had pubic wigs (as well as cock socks) but I didn’t not want to visualize that scene in Scary Movie.
Figure 501-1
Figure 501-2
What a pleasure it must be for Gale (and *grumble* Simon) to press his nose and hands in it. Apologies - that wasn’t very scientific.
Before we really put things under the microscope-ok, bad analogy-I’d like to thank the people who supplied me with Gale’s and Randy’s height measurements which then enabled me to extrapolate other important data (with at least 90% accuracy).
Ok, get out your tape measures.
Then pretend you have really bad eyesight and are not wearing your glasses. You may also have to brush away Gale’s untrimmed pubic hair. I hope the rub-and-sniff feature on your monitors is working.
Figure 402-2
Figure 205-2
Note to Galeaholics who completed the G/R height survey: no, you can’t change your minds and make Gale 6'3 and Randy 5'6, ktnx.
But here’s another Gale example to study just in case the result of the other was skewed by a particularly cold day in the studio (I guess there are valid reasons for wearing a cock sock).
If you start to feel giddy want a more distant viewpoint, you know what to touch click.
Figures 410-1 & 410-2
Results
The analyses show Gale to be approx 4" (if you stretch it a little) and Randy approx 4.6" softserve, once hair and sockage have been eliminated from the study.
It’s fairly obvious who appears to come out on top in the girth stakes too. But it makes me wonder why Brian has such pained expressions when he does the fucking but didn’t emit the slightest wince when the position was reversed - and without a hint of preparation. I can only conclude that the Brian!asshole wins in the magnitude department.
The first person who is insane bold enough admit they actually licked measured will receive a little-well, not that little-something.
Further Discussion
Let’s have a quick look at the following crappy-cap sequence.
Figures 502-1 & 502-2
And something suddenly appears out of the shadows...
Figure 502-3
Ok, that's either one hell of a pee slit or he's practised origami with his cocksock *lol*
So here’s another bit of, um, data which some people have viewed previously.
Figure 412-1
Stroke Click on the following dpic for a schematic diagram which narrows down (poor choice of phrase) the, err, width.
Figures 412-2 & 412-3
Finally, I present the research you’ve all been waiting for. Please note that I have eliminated Kim and Simon from this study.
To stimulate your brain, I have put up some sexamples so you’ll get a better picture of what we’ll be examining later on (and many thanks to
chocwaferbite for the, um, heads up).
Figures 512-1
Figure 512-2
Figure 512-3
Now, I don’t want anyone to think that the schematic diagram above is meant to represent an erection or insertion of any kind. What kind of educator do you think I am? OK, don’t answer that. All I’m alluding to is that maybe, just maybe, Gale found the spot where Randy’s thigh meets his groin a nice hard silky place to rub rest it.
Take a long, hard look an objective view of the following cap.
If your vision or perspective isn’t good, you can make things a little clearer by clicking on it, err, them.
Figure 512-4 & 512-5
And here’s a B&W representation to throw the, uh, images into relief. And us into a hot bother.
Figure 512-6
Either that’s a very sheer cock sock or it *cough* accidentally slipped off. Could someone *cough* please hand me a glass of water? Make that a jug of very cold water and pour it over me.
The first person to use the word starting with ‘F’ which doesn’t mean fucking-not literally anyway-will be sent straight to the Head of Cockology for a spanking. Or should that be the Head of Assatomy? And because I’m a professional I'll also give that person a clearer example of the subject.
I was going to speculate whether Randy wore a padded sock but then I thought there would be too many people here who would refute that because *snarky/jealous voice* they know from first-hand experience. I’m just sayin’ that, if it were me, I would have a full-blown erection if I was rubbing up against Gale without desensitizing agents. OK, I just realized that was a stupid comment. I meant to say I would have an orgasm dressed in a well-padded ski-suit from head-to-toe if Gale simply lay on top of me. But that’s just me. Well, maybe not just me. Of course that doesn’t explain why Gale doesn’t then wear a padded one but maybe he has desensitizing help of a different kind, like something you take to make you mellow, you know. Well, you think you know, but you don’t know, you know?
Conclusion
Teary is a very naughty girl.
It is also vital that the G/R cock sock be iconized for posterity.
All right, if you must know the answer to the bigger question: 6.9" and 6.3" respectively :P.
Acknowledgements
This is for everyone who has ever given me or posted and commented something to inspire this insanity.
Key words (aka tags): cock, sock, Gale, Randy
--------------------------
If anyone wishes to submit any interesting, decent quality caps that you think require further analysis, please do so. It’s all in the name of science *straight face - barely*.
Thank you for your time. And don’t forget to hand in your evaluation forms before you leave to participate in the more serious meta discussions scheduled in other lecture theatres :D.