But everybody knows, it's all about the things that get stuck inside of your head!!!!!
Everything is driving me beyond insane lately. Mostly college and social issues. And the fact that I don't sleep anymore.
College
I don't know what I am doing. I don't want to stay here, but I don't know where I want to go or how I will afford it. The concept of money is so bizarre and wrong to me, yet I always wish I had it at my disposal. It kills me to see people who have the freedom to just have whatever they need to throw around and have every menial thing they want on an impulse. It kills me only because I envy it.
But back to college: I have a psychology test tomorrow and I haven't even read the whole chapter yet. I'm an incompetant, lazy student, but somehow I always scrape by. I would probably be crushed if I ever did go to a good college and that's sad to me.
Social
People are driving me over the edge. All I want is for them to leave me to my own devices, but they keep insisting on asking me ridiculous questions. There is a distinct difference in being depressed and just being tired of peoples' general stupidity (or their mere existance in some cases). I hate being so far away from the people I am close to though. But all this makes me feel like I am going through being 14 again. Waahh, no one understands me and I hate it here, wah.
Everyone has taken this stupid thing, so I did too:
DisorderRatingParanoid:LowSchizoid:ModerateSchizotypal:HighAntisocial:HighBorderline:LowHistrionic:HighNarcissistic:ModerateAvoidant:Very HighDependent:LowObsessive-Compulsive:High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
"Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them."
I also think a lot of things that I shouldn't. And a lot of things that are just off-the-wall and impossible, but make me feel better. I guess that's okay. I know that there are a few people who actually care, and that is the only thing keeping me from going postal.
I have a bad tendency to be listening to Bright Eyes every time I write in this fucking thing.
(Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Swiftly go the days
Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress
It always is the same
The sunrise and a sun sets
You are lying while you confess
Keep trying to explain
The sunrise and the sun sets
You realize and then you forget
What you have been trying to retain)
College
I don't know what I am doing. I don't want to stay here, but I don't know where I want to go or how I will afford it. The concept of money is so bizarre and wrong to me, yet I always wish I had it at my disposal. It kills me to see people who have the freedom to just have whatever they need to throw around and have every menial thing they want on an impulse. It kills me only because I envy it.
But back to college: I have a psychology test tomorrow and I haven't even read the whole chapter yet. I'm an incompetant, lazy student, but somehow I always scrape by. I would probably be crushed if I ever did go to a good college and that's sad to me.
Social
People are driving me over the edge. All I want is for them to leave me to my own devices, but they keep insisting on asking me ridiculous questions. There is a distinct difference in being depressed and just being tired of peoples' general stupidity (or their mere existance in some cases). I hate being so far away from the people I am close to though. But all this makes me feel like I am going through being 14 again. Waahh, no one understands me and I hate it here, wah.
Everyone has taken this stupid thing, so I did too:
DisorderRatingParanoid:LowSchizoid:ModerateSchizotypal:HighAntisocial:HighBorderline:LowHistrionic:HighNarcissistic:ModerateAvoidant:Very HighDependent:LowObsessive-Compulsive:High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
"Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them."
I also think a lot of things that I shouldn't. And a lot of things that are just off-the-wall and impossible, but make me feel better. I guess that's okay. I know that there are a few people who actually care, and that is the only thing keeping me from going postal.
I have a bad tendency to be listening to Bright Eyes every time I write in this fucking thing.
(Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Swiftly go the days
Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress
It always is the same
The sunrise and a sun sets
You are lying while you confess
Keep trying to explain
The sunrise and the sun sets
You realize and then you forget
What you have been trying to retain)