history repeats itself

[tearsofapixie]

hum, going back to last summer, y? y is it that in the nights im so hopeless and pissed but i read stuff on here and my hope is restored, my faith gained once again. i truly would like for jordan and i to work out but dude, 30 days? wtf?! (now i no how chris felt when i was always grounded) hump. and he doesnt even no when its up. its like he dont really care. now he can only talk for 5 minz, and even at that he dont talk. fuck it i dont think im calling ne more, if we're just gonna fight, its totally pointless for me to waste my breath on fights. with the constant up and down, every other day its a different emotion. the other day i called he was fine day before he wanted to fucking die. hum. idk i feel like hes not trying and its only me. fuck it mayb i just care too much. mayb i should center him in my life ne more. ima try to have a life in the summer so i dont have this problem. im gonna start working at mercy. xsiteing rite? i think so. 'sept all the weird tests and junk. and i might start dance again. that'd be sweet. AND i might need summer skool. great fucking great. oh well stuff to do to distract me from my strange boyfriend.

my dad got mad at me for my make up this morn. wtf? im wearing light brown eyeshadow. light pinkish lip gloss and ... eyeliner... ahhh thats wat it is cuz eyeliner is the devil. lol. hum neways my dad enjoys talking shit about my friends. i need to kill him or move out... hum. my counciler made me sad the other day told me legaly u cant be amansipated. TEAR!!!

i hope i see ash on thursday. i need to tan. lol.

my moms coming this weekend. sweet.