fucking great...(sarcasum)
CAN I PLEASE FUCKING DIE NOW? im not allowed to be a goth so fuck it ill be a slut. and then when both my boifriend, dad and beth still dont notice me.... ill fucking kill myself. my best friend or not... w/e the fuck jil is now is way pissed at me for like nothing, idevenk. im fucking confused. all this bull shit is fucked i dont even care that my beth WANTS me to go to christls house and spend the night sat. i dont care that she said something about letting me use the phone. fuck it all. i cant live like this.
and as if this isnt rite it feels like no one *cough cough JORDAN* reads this (you know to read the drama in my life :-D) or mayb b nice and make me feel less like shit. idevenk its soooo not worth it. rite now i could ... naw i NEED a cigarette, too bad im not capable of walking (heals...) did u read that?! im wearing HEALS!!! i bought them last night, no i cant walk, but yes in my black low cut cammie, white blouse, and skool pants id say i look sluty well well im beginning to fit in her at DHCS, isnt that wat bath and bob wanted?!
*AWWW my song... "put under the pressure of walking in ur shoes, everystep that i take is another mistake to you..." *Want to sing.... cant* *bangs head on comp desk* y y y y y y y y y y??? y dont i even no what i did this time? i cant loose jil, ill die. i cant i cant. im gonna die. im so dead. "and i no i may end up failing too! but i no, you where just like me with someone disapointed in u!" god i wish i was numb again. i think ima start cutting again... or wait i can burn i have a lighter in my locker. i think ima go look for tess so i can change shoes and walk up to the petco. idk.
poetry: my gums they bleed, my life it seeps, from my vains, deep in pain... i cant remember the rest, but thats the beginning of one of my original poems, i wish i could bleed. who knew me wearing slutty clothes would make me more depressed then i was before. fuck me. y doesnt ne one see me. maybe my boobs will get me somewhere, you know the ones i dont have... hey i could always run to denis again.... *jokes... i hope* hes obsessive. he drew an anime pic of me. i asked him "y" and hes like "i wanted to draw someone and i was like whos hot... missy" weird shit.
yeah im leaveing im not gonna do shit with him...but i need to smoke. my hand is twitching. NIC_FIT!
and as if this isnt rite it feels like no one *cough cough JORDAN* reads this (you know to read the drama in my life :-D) or mayb b nice and make me feel less like shit. idevenk its soooo not worth it. rite now i could ... naw i NEED a cigarette, too bad im not capable of walking (heals...) did u read that?! im wearing HEALS!!! i bought them last night, no i cant walk, but yes in my black low cut cammie, white blouse, and skool pants id say i look sluty well well im beginning to fit in her at DHCS, isnt that wat bath and bob wanted?!
*AWWW my song... "put under the pressure of walking in ur shoes, everystep that i take is another mistake to you..." *Want to sing.... cant* *bangs head on comp desk* y y y y y y y y y y??? y dont i even no what i did this time? i cant loose jil, ill die. i cant i cant. im gonna die. im so dead. "and i no i may end up failing too! but i no, you where just like me with someone disapointed in u!" god i wish i was numb again. i think ima start cutting again... or wait i can burn i have a lighter in my locker. i think ima go look for tess so i can change shoes and walk up to the petco. idk.
poetry: my gums they bleed, my life it seeps, from my vains, deep in pain... i cant remember the rest, but thats the beginning of one of my original poems, i wish i could bleed. who knew me wearing slutty clothes would make me more depressed then i was before. fuck me. y doesnt ne one see me. maybe my boobs will get me somewhere, you know the ones i dont have... hey i could always run to denis again.... *jokes... i hope* hes obsessive. he drew an anime pic of me. i asked him "y" and hes like "i wanted to draw someone and i was like whos hot... missy" weird shit.
yeah im leaveing im not gonna do shit with him...but i need to smoke. my hand is twitching. NIC_FIT!