Thoughts on love

[tearsforaunicrn]

Friday night I watched the movie Enchanted with a friend of mine. It kind of made me a little bit cynical. I'm beginning to think that being in love is all about staying within a range in which the other person will tolerate you. There were times when my depression was getting to me when I was 'too much' for Kevin to handle. Kevin's response was to

Comments

[levelthree]

I'm not going to say that love is unconditional, because it's not, but that doesn't make you an unacceptable person just because of the way Kevin chose to act and his own opinions on things. In a good relationship certainly there is a range of acceptable behaviors and as far as I'm concerned, at least from what I know of what you've said, depression doesn't fall into the range of "unacceptable". I mean, I could see how, say, being an out of control drug addict could be out of the acceptable range, simply because that would also cause a change in the person, but love shouldn't be restricted by issues such as depression.

I guess that's all to say that just because Kevin found your depression to be unacceptable it doesn't mean that you're an unacceptable person. Of course getting therapy isn't a bad thing at all, but you shouldn't see it as turning yourself into an acceptable human being, because you already are an acceptable human being. Now you're just trying to get help so that you can be an even better person than you already are. But love shouldn't be about setting boundaries like that, to the point where depression isn't acceptable to the person you're dating. Love is about helping the person you're with and supporting them. You talk through issues, you try to make your relationship stronger, and to be honest the worst thing you can do, in my opinion, is refuse to talk to your significant other when they're having a problem.

You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened with Kevin. As far as I'm concerned, he's as much to blame, if not more, than you are. Because depression shouldn't be "too much" for him to deal with. And that shouldn't make you feel like you're an unacceptable person.