stay lady stay
It's Wednesday night. That means Lost and Alias spoilers. And it's season finale week, so that means Super Duper Extended Spoiler Night!
OH MY GOD, HE JUST FUCKING BLEW UP. Why did he pick the mankiest piece of dynamite in the chest? But he was such an ass the whole (brief) time he was alive that we were cheering while chunks of him were pattering all around. Apparently very loudly, because afterwards Natalie compared us to Those Girls in the Other Hallway. And I'm rather indignant about that. Also, was anyone else expecting a cameo from One-Eyed Willy? Because that would have been awesome. Poor Hurley and his numbers. Poor Charlie and getting beaten up by the crackwhore. He does that deep searching convincing look so well, promising Claire he'd get her baby back. And now he's got a nasty little scar that gave Sayid a chance to play battlefield medic. But ow that scene hurt to watch. Worse than the exploding. Rousseau is FUCKING NUTS. But calling her pathetic? Charlie, dear, didn't you learn anything? Sayid and Shannon made me whimper. Aaron apparently means "Exalted," if that means anything. Probably something destinyish, if I know my JJ. I don't like that Jack didn't trust Kate with the dynamite, for whatever reason. I really don't like it. But I do like that he recognizes the potential for Major Problems with Locke now that the hatch is open. Also, the ladder rungs cut off halfway, guys. And I don't know if you've read 'Salem's Lot lately, but you do not want to walk off the end of a staircase/ladder because sometimes there are pointy knives at the bottom.
Also, WHY DO THE CRUSTY SEA HOBOS WANT WALT?! Wait, don't answer that. Don't even follow that to any sort of conclusion, because I don't think it'll be pleasant. If Sawyer got shot, I'm going to cry, because he needs to go back to the island and bond with Hurley over their OBVIOUS LOVE OF STAR WARS. Because he actually called Michael and Jin Han and Chewie. Which leads me to believe that that other comment he made *see icon* was totally not an accident. Oh, and Charlie's got a Madonna full of heroin. Sweet Jesus, tell me all he wants to do is set up a little grotto in one of the caves and hold prayer services. Please. Please. Please.
OMGWTF ZOMBIES?!?! What convinced them that it would be a good idea to steal their plotline from Resident Evil? And I know I missed a couple of episodes, but since when did Mustafar appear in the sky over Russia? But at least I'll know when my friends become zombies because they'll suddenly start applying massive amounts of eye makeup. And they'll start snarling and trying to kill me.
But I forgive all the stupid crazy shit for the last two minutes. Everything was going so well, there was sexy suggestive Dylan music in the background, they were going to fucking elope on the beach and Vaughn said she'd look "sexy as hell"...and then WHAT. THE. FUCK. Vaughn used to be a bad guy?!?! There was a reason he was chosen to be her CIA handler? His name isn't really Michael Vaughn?!
And then there was a car crash. Close curtain. Oh. My. God.