do you understand it, finally? i do.
“Love as a state of being…it means that you are simply loving, you are not creating a relationship out of it. Your love is just like the fragrance of a flower. It does not create a relationship, it does not ask you to be a certain way, to behave a certain way, to act a certain way. It demands nothing. It simply shares. And in sharing also there is no desire for any reward. The sharing itself is the reward.” (OSHO)
This passage I found, unexpectedly, in a book I’m currently reading about gaining freedom, a concept that I’ve been obsessing over for quite some time. Finally, this all makes sense to me and I don’t feel like I’m insane. My relationships have failed because a “relationship” is not what I needed. A relationship is imprisonment on both sides, in a relationship you are both the jailer and the prisoner. Trapped. Which is what leads to the demise of love, and how it finally becomes resentment, misery and hatred. Relationships aren’t really conducive to loving anyone. Relationships destroy love (I know, I’ve experienced it). It becomes a task. The book gave another great example on how arbitrary they are when it comes to loving your father. You are told to have a bond with this man, whom you know nothing about (particularly in my case) when you’re never really certain of those ties of parenthood. One can obviously know their mothers because of the physicality of that bond before birth, but fathers are just planters. The “father” that society defines (i.e., the one who’s supposed to be the epitomizing and influential male in your life who takes you to ball games, teaches you how to ride a bike and drive) could, in essence, be anyone, no matter who’s sperm it was.
Love as a state of being and love as a relationship are two polar opposites. One sits balanced on the positive side of the scale, the latter on the negative. Perhaps this is why society is so fucked up, why it’s so backward. Love in a relationship simply adds to the strain of expectations, of the other from you and of you from the other, that will NEVER be satisfied. “Needs” that will never be met. What is needed is just a simple state of love. Just being loving towards yourself, towards those around you. That encompasses everything; the emotional, the physical, the intangible, without the imprisonment. In essence it is truer and purer than any relationship would ever be. Think about it, you’re moving from an idea of love as bondage, as expectations, as frustrations, to a love that is simply your identity. Love becomes your fucking identity! You’ll never suffer. You’re constantly being fulfilled by this love. The rest is just bullshit...boyfriends, fiancés, marriage, rings, “God”, contracts (a piece of paper is supposed to hold it together?!??)….the rest is all bullshit.
This passage I found, unexpectedly, in a book I’m currently reading about gaining freedom, a concept that I’ve been obsessing over for quite some time. Finally, this all makes sense to me and I don’t feel like I’m insane. My relationships have failed because a “relationship” is not what I needed. A relationship is imprisonment on both sides, in a relationship you are both the jailer and the prisoner. Trapped. Which is what leads to the demise of love, and how it finally becomes resentment, misery and hatred. Relationships aren’t really conducive to loving anyone. Relationships destroy love (I know, I’ve experienced it). It becomes a task. The book gave another great example on how arbitrary they are when it comes to loving your father. You are told to have a bond with this man, whom you know nothing about (particularly in my case) when you’re never really certain of those ties of parenthood. One can obviously know their mothers because of the physicality of that bond before birth, but fathers are just planters. The “father” that society defines (i.e., the one who’s supposed to be the epitomizing and influential male in your life who takes you to ball games, teaches you how to ride a bike and drive) could, in essence, be anyone, no matter who’s sperm it was.
Love as a state of being and love as a relationship are two polar opposites. One sits balanced on the positive side of the scale, the latter on the negative. Perhaps this is why society is so fucked up, why it’s so backward. Love in a relationship simply adds to the strain of expectations, of the other from you and of you from the other, that will NEVER be satisfied. “Needs” that will never be met. What is needed is just a simple state of love. Just being loving towards yourself, towards those around you. That encompasses everything; the emotional, the physical, the intangible, without the imprisonment. In essence it is truer and purer than any relationship would ever be. Think about it, you’re moving from an idea of love as bondage, as expectations, as frustrations, to a love that is simply your identity. Love becomes your fucking identity! You’ll never suffer. You’re constantly being fulfilled by this love. The rest is just bullshit...boyfriends, fiancés, marriage, rings, “God”, contracts (a piece of paper is supposed to hold it together?!??)….the rest is all bullshit.