Bertuzzi Speaks
Recently, in an effort to improve his approval rating within the Colorado Hockey Fan Community, Vancouver Canucks Winger Todd Bertuzzi sent us a letter. In his letter, Bertuzzi attempts to show Colorado hockey fans that he really isn't a bad guy, hoping that in writing, he can let the real Todd Bertuzzi shine through. His letter, in it's entirety, follows:
Dear Colorado Avalanche Fans:
I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight regarding the Steve Moreland incident from a couple of years ago. I think you will find that after you read this, you'll see that I am really not a bad guy at all.
For instance, I don't know why I get booed at Pepsi Center each and every time I touch the puck. Is what I did really so wrong? After all, there was nothing in the NHL rulebook that specifically stated "do not break Steve Moreland's neck with a cheap, vicious blow from behind, and do not follow that up by forcing him down onto the ice head-first with your full body weight."
You see? I was actually playing within the rules that night in Vancouver. And yet, you still boo me. And it hurts.
The other night after our game in Denver, I was so distraught after getting booed all game that I needed to get away for awhile. So I smoked a couple of joints, then I had them hold our bus. While the team waited on the bus, I snuck into the Avalanche players parking lot and hotwired Joe Sakic's car. Then I drove it around Denver, looking for a busy liquor store, which I found. I went inside, stole a case of Coors, and then drove around your beautiful city, drinking the beer.
After I finished off the case of beer, I still wasn't ready to face the team, so I found a bar near downtown. I double parked, smoked another joint, and went inside, where I ran up a $300.00 bar tab drinking shots of Jaegermeister. I left without paying the tab, took a piss on the bar wall, and got Sakic's by-now ticketed car running again.
As I drove toward Pepsi Center, I ran a red light, which caused a three car pileup in the intersection. I left Sakic's insurance info on the front seat and walked back to the team bus, and soon we were on our way to your wonderful airport.
So you see, Denver fans, I am not such a bad guy. I love driving around in your city and frequenting your local establishments. So please stop booing me. It really does hurt my feelings.
Now that we understand each other better, I'll be sure to keep writing to keep you up to date on my life. And please tell Steve Moreland that I hope he gets better soon.
Your Pal,
Todd
Dear Colorado Avalanche Fans:
I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight regarding the Steve Moreland incident from a couple of years ago. I think you will find that after you read this, you'll see that I am really not a bad guy at all.
For instance, I don't know why I get booed at Pepsi Center each and every time I touch the puck. Is what I did really so wrong? After all, there was nothing in the NHL rulebook that specifically stated "do not break Steve Moreland's neck with a cheap, vicious blow from behind, and do not follow that up by forcing him down onto the ice head-first with your full body weight."
You see? I was actually playing within the rules that night in Vancouver. And yet, you still boo me. And it hurts.
The other night after our game in Denver, I was so distraught after getting booed all game that I needed to get away for awhile. So I smoked a couple of joints, then I had them hold our bus. While the team waited on the bus, I snuck into the Avalanche players parking lot and hotwired Joe Sakic's car. Then I drove it around Denver, looking for a busy liquor store, which I found. I went inside, stole a case of Coors, and then drove around your beautiful city, drinking the beer.
After I finished off the case of beer, I still wasn't ready to face the team, so I found a bar near downtown. I double parked, smoked another joint, and went inside, where I ran up a $300.00 bar tab drinking shots of Jaegermeister. I left without paying the tab, took a piss on the bar wall, and got Sakic's by-now ticketed car running again.
As I drove toward Pepsi Center, I ran a red light, which caused a three car pileup in the intersection. I left Sakic's insurance info on the front seat and walked back to the team bus, and soon we were on our way to your wonderful airport.
So you see, Denver fans, I am not such a bad guy. I love driving around in your city and frequenting your local establishments. So please stop booing me. It really does hurt my feelings.
Now that we understand each other better, I'll be sure to keep writing to keep you up to date on my life. And please tell Steve Moreland that I hope he gets better soon.
Your Pal,
Todd