who wants to be right as rain? it's better when something is wrong.
a month ago, i didn't have a...
~ car (goodbye little green. thank you for saving my life as we went tumbling down the interstate together.)
~ job (goodbye choa, my first glimpse of the working world.)
~ boyfriend (goodbye every boy because you all suck and i am so happy to be just me.)
~ clue what i wanted to do with my life (shit. i effed up. and this time it matters because i'm an adult.)
now i have a...
~ wine-colored '03 honda civic which costs LESS to insure than my old car because it has 4 doors. :)
~ full-time job with benefits and a fun team of co-workers. (and the cheesiest of cheesy job titles: director of first impressions, lol.)
~ Tim! :) who proved me wrong.
~ plan. and infallible motivation to follow through. because i can't live like this. as stated in previous post, i Need "constant creativity and periodic fresh starts....to think, to learn, to TEACH. duh." THIS is something i can do for the rest of my life and be happy about it.
if i could go back and give the 15 year old version of myself any one piece of advice, it would be...
~ you've been floating happily through life so far, (as you should as a little kid,) BUT everything will not always "work itself out." if you continue to float, propelled only by the wind, you'll find yourself thrown overboard in the middle of an ocean after college graduation. but if you decide to start paddling now, you'll be closer to dry land when it's time to get out of the boat.
i know these years between undergrad & grad school are necessary for me. it sure sucks though. i mean, i totally admit that i ended up here by my own carelessness. and i know i was not ready (nor did i even know if i wanted) to be a teacher yet. fortunately, the past year-ish has caught me up on experiences i lacked earlier in life.
i have to be at work at 8:30 tomorrow... i can't sleep. anxiety, ugh, i hate anxiety. and that sickening blue-ish glow from the city outside my window feels blinding when i want to sleep. i MUST get curtains with my first paycheck.
and i MUST find sleep now.
~ car (goodbye little green. thank you for saving my life as we went tumbling down the interstate together.)
~ job (goodbye choa, my first glimpse of the working world.)
~ boyfriend (goodbye every boy because you all suck and i am so happy to be just me.)
~ clue what i wanted to do with my life (shit. i effed up. and this time it matters because i'm an adult.)
now i have a...
~ wine-colored '03 honda civic which costs LESS to insure than my old car because it has 4 doors. :)
~ full-time job with benefits and a fun team of co-workers. (and the cheesiest of cheesy job titles: director of first impressions, lol.)
~ Tim! :) who proved me wrong.
~ plan. and infallible motivation to follow through. because i can't live like this. as stated in previous post, i Need "constant creativity and periodic fresh starts....to think, to learn, to TEACH. duh." THIS is something i can do for the rest of my life and be happy about it.
if i could go back and give the 15 year old version of myself any one piece of advice, it would be...
~ you've been floating happily through life so far, (as you should as a little kid,) BUT everything will not always "work itself out." if you continue to float, propelled only by the wind, you'll find yourself thrown overboard in the middle of an ocean after college graduation. but if you decide to start paddling now, you'll be closer to dry land when it's time to get out of the boat.
i know these years between undergrad & grad school are necessary for me. it sure sucks though. i mean, i totally admit that i ended up here by my own carelessness. and i know i was not ready (nor did i even know if i wanted) to be a teacher yet. fortunately, the past year-ish has caught me up on experiences i lacked earlier in life.
i have to be at work at 8:30 tomorrow... i can't sleep. anxiety, ugh, i hate anxiety. and that sickening blue-ish glow from the city outside my window feels blinding when i want to sleep. i MUST get curtains with my first paycheck.
and i MUST find sleep now.