we'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now
ahhh... candles, a storm, a full belly, jose gonzalez, & a book by antonya nelson. does it get better than this? yes, it does. my little urban fairy roommate just came home to enjoy this with me. perhaps i'll drink a glass of wine before going out tonight after all.
for the first time in my life, i am seeing peices of my little brother in me... i am wreckless because i am afraid. because if i screw things up early, then i won't ever have to face my fears. i can fail before i get started. i've not always been like this, it's only since i've had to come to grips with the idea of being all alone in the world. i guess kyle had more of the world to face sooner than i did.
it's so much easier to be in college. if you stay out drinking with your friends, and if you are [were] good at pulling off passing grades by the skin of your teeth, it's no big deal to show up to class with a hangover instead of your homework. but when a potential job is at stake, it becomes a bit of a problem. i have a third interview tomorrow with a good company. i wasn't at my best for the first two, but i must have done something right since they still called back. i know i should be good tonight, but i just wanna have fuuuuun. i don't wanna grow up...
i am going back to school. i have decided. unless by some miracle i get my dream job as a grant writer or program coordinator with choa between now and next May. otherwise, i am seriously. [seriously] going to do an M.A.T. program somewhere. I'm thinking Emory right now, but we'll see. The deadline is February 1st. Hello, a whole year away. Maybe I won't screw it up this time.
Why? because i am realizing how bad most jobs suuuuuck. i don't want to be stuck in a cubicle for the rest of my life. i don't want to stare at a computer screen all day. i don't want to be constantly selling something or competing with someone. i want to travel in summers and have long christmas breaks and my afternoons free. i want constant creativity and periodic fresh starts. i want to think, to learn, to TEACH. duh. it's what i want. why am i making it so difficult for myself? because i'm SCARED. so i messed it up and set myself back 2 years and several thousand dollars. but nevermind all that. it's time to make it RiGhT.
for the first time in my life, i am seeing peices of my little brother in me... i am wreckless because i am afraid. because if i screw things up early, then i won't ever have to face my fears. i can fail before i get started. i've not always been like this, it's only since i've had to come to grips with the idea of being all alone in the world. i guess kyle had more of the world to face sooner than i did.
it's so much easier to be in college. if you stay out drinking with your friends, and if you are [were] good at pulling off passing grades by the skin of your teeth, it's no big deal to show up to class with a hangover instead of your homework. but when a potential job is at stake, it becomes a bit of a problem. i have a third interview tomorrow with a good company. i wasn't at my best for the first two, but i must have done something right since they still called back. i know i should be good tonight, but i just wanna have fuuuuun. i don't wanna grow up...
i am going back to school. i have decided. unless by some miracle i get my dream job as a grant writer or program coordinator with choa between now and next May. otherwise, i am seriously. [seriously] going to do an M.A.T. program somewhere. I'm thinking Emory right now, but we'll see. The deadline is February 1st. Hello, a whole year away. Maybe I won't screw it up this time.
Why? because i am realizing how bad most jobs suuuuuck. i don't want to be stuck in a cubicle for the rest of my life. i don't want to stare at a computer screen all day. i don't want to be constantly selling something or competing with someone. i want to travel in summers and have long christmas breaks and my afternoons free. i want constant creativity and periodic fresh starts. i want to think, to learn, to TEACH. duh. it's what i want. why am i making it so difficult for myself? because i'm SCARED. so i messed it up and set myself back 2 years and several thousand dollars. but nevermind all that. it's time to make it RiGhT.