XWP: God-Fearing Child
The formattings for writing are definitely not working right now, so forgive the fact that there will be no italics or boldings at the appropriate locations. It's going to bug the piss out of me but . . . When Livejournal is being a bit of a
we're going to have to deal with it.
And speaking of "dealing with it" . . . I have become addicted to the USWNT memes floating about Tumblr. I think that's how I spent a good chunk of both yesterday and today (and probably tomorrow). Oh, women's soccer. What have you done to me?!
But now it's time to really get a shake on my Xena reviews. Because I really want to get to the sixth season because, you know. I love the sixth season. So let's try to power through and not get everything deleted.
1) God-Fearing Child begins with a character completely new to the Xenaverse. I think he's actually a bit of a main character on Hercules, but has never showed himself on the sister series.
So, hello Zeus. And, actually, Hera, who is also making her very first Xena appearance.
What's up, guys? How's it shaking?
Well, it's not so cool for Zeus. You see, he's hanging out with the old favorite Fates. He's very concerned about this Twilight business Ares was worried about in Seeds Of Faith. Not the books, of course, though I'm sure he wouldn't approve, but the idea that the Olympian gods are eventually going to have their power stripped from them.
As it turns out, Xena's baby is going to be at the center of this sorid little mess, which is good and bad. It's good because Zeus is a god and he knows Xena and he knows that she's mortal and that she can be defeated. It's bad because it's Xena and, mortal or not, she has a tendency to best everybody she comes into contact with.
Fuck, right? Not good news.
2) Gabrielle has a dream that she and Xena both give birth to the baby, that the baby was coming from them both.
GAYEST SHOW OF ALL TIME IN DA HOUSE!
Seriously? I can't even deal with this.
3) Out in the middle of the forest, as Xena and Gabrielle are going about their business, they run into Hercules.
Of course. Because if there's one thing I've learned about Xena and Gabrielle through the process of watching this show, it's that they're also very easily findable.
I don't think Hercules has been on Xena since the first season, though Iolaus was last seen in season two.
So what's he doing here now? Well, he heard that Xena was expecting and wanted to bring her a scary hydra doll.
4) But before the three old friends can get very chummy, they find themselves in the middle of some fighters. These fighters have an actual name but I can't spell it or pronounce it. The important thing to know is that they've been sent by Zeus to kill Xena and the baby.
They manage to defeat them, however temporarily. See, the thing about these guys is that when one is killed, the others become even stronger.
5) Xena figures out that Zeus is after her baby (duh) and comes up with a sure fire way to deal with the plan, at least in the short term. She wants to go down to Tartarus to steal away Hades' helmet of invisibility (I prefer the cloak), so that she can shield herself from Zeus.
I don't know why that's actually a great plan. If Zeus is a god, why can't he just sense Xena, even if she's invisible? Is it because it's Hades' helmet?
I don't know.
6) There's a catch to the plan though: Since she and Gabrielle will be going down to the underworld as living beings, if Xena gives birth down there, the baby will be stillborn.
And since she's extremely pregnant at this point, it's really a race against the gods and against time.
7) What does Hercules do in the meantime? He's going to go after the Ribs of Cronos.
Remember Cronos? He was a Titan and the father of Zeus and he ruled over Earth as the main attraction until Zeus killed him.
He's buried (isn't it weird that gods have bones?) and his ribs are capable of killing gods.
I remember way back in, like, I don't know. Earlier. There was only one way to kill a god and it was . . . I think it was the dagger that Callisto wanted Xena to kill her with, but it wasn't the Dagger of Helios. Then there was the Dagger of Helios. And now there's the Ribs of Cronos. And don't forget that the baby is going to do bad things to them, too.
For being gods, they sure do leave around a lot of different methods with which to destroy them.
Because he's Hercules (I guess . . . I haven't watched that show), he first decides to go talk to Zeus, see if they can't be unlike Congress and talk it out. But the ribs are Plan B.
8) They talk, but it doesn't go well. Zeus says that Xena's baby is a force of destruction because of the god (or being) who helped conceive it. He doesn't mean Callisto (remember how Callisto is both the "father" and the baby?), but the god of Eli. Abba (not the musical group, for the last time).
He's kind of putting Xena's baby on the same playing field as Hope (not Solo), Gabrielle's daughter who was conceived by Dahak.
And isn't that kind of an interesting thought? That Xena or Gabrielle never really thought to themselves, "Is this baby the next Hope?" Both were conceived under bizarre supernatural circumstances. Shouldn't that possibility have been at least broached?
Furthermore, for Zeus, the kid is going to cause the Twilight. It doesn't make sense to just let it happen if it can be stopped. (Can it? The Fates were talking about it. Fate's kind of hard to stop, you know?)
But Hercules is a good guy and he won't let Zeus kill the life of an innocent child (or her mother).
9) Xena and Gabrielle go back to the lake Xena used in season one when she first visited Tartarus. Good continuity!
10) Zeus wants to keep Hercules occupied, so after Hercules stomps out after their talk, he calls on Ares.
Now, my main problem with this episode is that fully understanding all of the dynamics of what's going on is kind of reliant on the audience also watching Hercules. Which I never did (except for the episodes in which Lucy and Renee guested on). So . . . I'm missing a lot of nuance.
But from what I can guess, Ares has spent a whole lot of time resenting Hercules because Zeus has always favored Hercules over Ares.
It's kind of cute, actually, that Ares is so jealous that Zeus likes Hercules more than him. I kind of love that Ares has daddy issues.
Ares agrees to help Zeus out under one condition: He has to have permission to stop Hercules with deadly force if necessary.
Zeus agrees, though it's odd that he does so, because he actually called Ares in because he didn't want to kill Hercules. I guess. I don't know. It's murky. But he loves Hercules, likes that he has humanity to him, so he, doesn't want him to die. So why is he okay giving Ares this permission?
11) The whole plan goes south, though, when Ares confronts Hercules and, before he's able to kill him, he's blasted in the back by Hera.
Now, as I understand it, all throughout Hercules, Hera was his big nemesis, always hurting him and his family and doing awful things.
So why is she helping him now?
12) Oh, yeah. Remember how Xena and Gabrielle are in Tartarus? I almost forgot, since Xena: Warrior Princess has temporarily turned into Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.
Well, they're down there and what do they find? Shock of all shock, they find Solan.
It's kind of poignantly sad. Solan actually volunteered to go to Tartarus because Hades told him that in the Elysian Fields no one knows they're dead and they spend day after day happy in anticipation of seeing the people they love without ever actually getting to see them. They're unaware of that, but still.
Solan's not a stupid boy. When you think about it, that is a pretty hollow afterlife.
So, he wanted to be in Tartarus, where he could at least remember Xena and see memories of her.
Pretty deep for a twelve year old.
13) So, we get a small idea of why Hera wants to help Hercules: I guess he saved her grandchild.
14) Xena, Gabrielle, and Solan are trying to make their escape to find the helmet of invisibility and Xena fully intents to take Solan to Elysium on her way. He reveals that he's jealous of the baby because once she gives birth she won't think about him anymore.
Poor little guy.
She's a good mom, though (surprisingly), and tells him that not a day goes by when she doesn't think about it. He'll always be her son and, perhaps more than that, he'll always remain a vision of hope (not Solo) for her. He was her proof, back when she was evil, that she wasn't all bad.
I mean, sure, it took her about ten years to actually forsake evil and, as season six shows us, she was up to some serious evil after Solan's birth, but hey. Hope is hope.
15) It's bad news for Xena, though. Before they can get to the helmet, they're surrounded by Hades and those fighting guys. Hades knows of the Twilight prophecy, too, and has no intention of letting Xena's baby be born. So, killing Xena? That works. Containing her in Tartarus until the baby's birth? That works, too.
But Gabrielle demonstrates her complete awesomeness by managing to grab the helmet. She puts it on, rendering herself invisible, and it able to do enough damage that it allows Xena and Solan the necessary distraction to make their escape.
I love Paternal!Gabrielle!
16) Hera, meanwhile, reveals deeper meaning behind helping Hercules help Xena. She wants to scare Zeus away from Xena and figures the threat of being killed by a Rib of Cronos will do that. She doesn't really want Zeus to get carried away with his fear of the Twilight.
As she tells Hercules, "Parents should never outlive their children." Meaning . . . The gods will go at some point no matter what. Humanity are their children. That's just the way it goes.
17) Ares, once he's recovered from Hera's blazing beat down, goes and rats on her, basically tipping Zeus off to the fact that, based on his whereabouts, Hercules is going after the Cronos Rib and that Hera is somehow in cahoots.
18) After he fucks up Zeus' relationship with Hera and Hercules, Ares makes his way down to Tartarus to offer some help to Xena.
Ares is unique in all of this. He obviously wants to remain a god but he also has some feelings towards Xena.
And they might be loving feelings. He can't admit it outloud to Xena (who is disgusted that Ares even hints in that direction), but he's definitely conflicted: His family or Xena?
19) Xena's got an added burden: She's starting to go into labor and, on top of that, Hades has found them.
Frak.
They're right at the mouth of Elysium, so she gives the helmet of invisibility to Solan and she and Gabrielle go to engage Hades and the fighting guys so that Solan can run across the guarded entrance between the two worlds.
It's a hardcore fight that doesn't end well for Hades: He tries to blast the shit out of her ala Hera and Ares, but she deflects it with her badass chakram.
That gives Solan the opportunity to get to Elysium and it allows, after a goodbye, Gabrielle and Xena to get back "on land", though it's never explained how they do so.
Still, they're not out of the woods. They're still be followed by Zeus' guys.
20) Zeus shows up just as Hercules is about to get a rib, but Hera does her hardcore thing and manages to take him temporarily out of commission, giving Hercules the time needed to get to Xena and kill those guys (who can also be killed by the rib).
And he gets there just in time: Xena's definitely in labor and Gabrielle is preoccupied with helping her, so he manages to take them out. (Well, actually, Xena and Gabrielle fight, too. Xena really is that badass.)
21) Hera had stopped Zeus from killing Hercules knowing that it meant that Zeus would likely kill her.
And he does. Because gods can kill other gods? Or maybe just Zeus can kill other gods.
22) So, yeah. Xena's finally giving birth and who is her ultimate birthing coach? Gabrielle, of course! Though she's mostly just hugging Xena and annoying her by talking and occasionally peeking at Xena's vaginal region to make sure everything's going smoothly (and Gabrielle would know a lot about smooth times down in Xena's vaginal region).
23) Meanwhile, Zeus finds Hercules and tries to kill him. Hercules manages to kill Zeus with the rib right before he goes after Xena.
Because this is television, Hercules and Zeus have a bit of a heart to heart. Zeus tells him, "You've never disappointed me. Especially today."
Huh? It comes out of nowhere, actually. All Zeus wants to do is live, right? But he's proud of Hercules for standing up for Xena and, like, humanity, so . . . He knows what he's doing is wrong. Yet he does it anyway, killing his wife along the way.
24) And, on top of that, where do gods go when they die, anyway? I assume they continue to exist because humans exist after they die, but I don't think we ever are told what happens to gods.
25) Oh, so, hey! Xena has a daughter. She names her Eve because, while they were in Tartarus, Solan suggested it.
So, hello baby Eve. Something tells me you're going to have an interesting life.
So that was God-Fearing Child. I wasn't really a fan. It was weird that the episode that features Xena giving birth, which the entire season has been leading up to, was more about Hercules, a dude from another show, than it was about Xena.
Maybe it's because Lucy had given birth and it was her first show back and they wanted to minimize what she had to do. (I actually don't know if it was her first show back after giving birth but I don't know she had given birth by the time they did this episode so . . .)
Whatever the reason, it felt strange. Maybe I'd like it better if I watched Hercules and could better understand and appreciate the dynamics between Hercules/Hera, Hera/Zeus, Zeus/Hercules, and Hercules/Ares but . . . It fell flat for me.
I like the idea of Gabrielle and Xena finding Solan in Tartarus, but it was rushed because they were too busy going back to Hercules. Lame.
So, I am happy that Xena's finally given birth but I wasn't happy with the delivery. Bummer. I'm going to give God-Fearing Child 2.5 out of 5 airlocks.
we're going to have to deal with it.
And speaking of "dealing with it" . . . I have become addicted to the USWNT memes floating about Tumblr. I think that's how I spent a good chunk of both yesterday and today (and probably tomorrow). Oh, women's soccer. What have you done to me?!
But now it's time to really get a shake on my Xena reviews. Because I really want to get to the sixth season because, you know. I love the sixth season. So let's try to power through and not get everything deleted.
1) God-Fearing Child begins with a character completely new to the Xenaverse. I think he's actually a bit of a main character on Hercules, but has never showed himself on the sister series.
So, hello Zeus. And, actually, Hera, who is also making her very first Xena appearance.
What's up, guys? How's it shaking?
Well, it's not so cool for Zeus. You see, he's hanging out with the old favorite Fates. He's very concerned about this Twilight business Ares was worried about in Seeds Of Faith. Not the books, of course, though I'm sure he wouldn't approve, but the idea that the Olympian gods are eventually going to have their power stripped from them.
As it turns out, Xena's baby is going to be at the center of this sorid little mess, which is good and bad. It's good because Zeus is a god and he knows Xena and he knows that she's mortal and that she can be defeated. It's bad because it's Xena and, mortal or not, she has a tendency to best everybody she comes into contact with.
Fuck, right? Not good news.
2) Gabrielle has a dream that she and Xena both give birth to the baby, that the baby was coming from them both.
GAYEST SHOW OF ALL TIME IN DA HOUSE!
Seriously? I can't even deal with this.
3) Out in the middle of the forest, as Xena and Gabrielle are going about their business, they run into Hercules.
Of course. Because if there's one thing I've learned about Xena and Gabrielle through the process of watching this show, it's that they're also very easily findable.
I don't think Hercules has been on Xena since the first season, though Iolaus was last seen in season two.
So what's he doing here now? Well, he heard that Xena was expecting and wanted to bring her a scary hydra doll.
4) But before the three old friends can get very chummy, they find themselves in the middle of some fighters. These fighters have an actual name but I can't spell it or pronounce it. The important thing to know is that they've been sent by Zeus to kill Xena and the baby.
They manage to defeat them, however temporarily. See, the thing about these guys is that when one is killed, the others become even stronger.
5) Xena figures out that Zeus is after her baby (duh) and comes up with a sure fire way to deal with the plan, at least in the short term. She wants to go down to Tartarus to steal away Hades' helmet of invisibility (I prefer the cloak), so that she can shield herself from Zeus.
I don't know why that's actually a great plan. If Zeus is a god, why can't he just sense Xena, even if she's invisible? Is it because it's Hades' helmet?
I don't know.
6) There's a catch to the plan though: Since she and Gabrielle will be going down to the underworld as living beings, if Xena gives birth down there, the baby will be stillborn.
And since she's extremely pregnant at this point, it's really a race against the gods and against time.
7) What does Hercules do in the meantime? He's going to go after the Ribs of Cronos.
Remember Cronos? He was a Titan and the father of Zeus and he ruled over Earth as the main attraction until Zeus killed him.
He's buried (isn't it weird that gods have bones?) and his ribs are capable of killing gods.
I remember way back in, like, I don't know. Earlier. There was only one way to kill a god and it was . . . I think it was the dagger that Callisto wanted Xena to kill her with, but it wasn't the Dagger of Helios. Then there was the Dagger of Helios. And now there's the Ribs of Cronos. And don't forget that the baby is going to do bad things to them, too.
For being gods, they sure do leave around a lot of different methods with which to destroy them.
Because he's Hercules (I guess . . . I haven't watched that show), he first decides to go talk to Zeus, see if they can't be unlike Congress and talk it out. But the ribs are Plan B.
8) They talk, but it doesn't go well. Zeus says that Xena's baby is a force of destruction because of the god (or being) who helped conceive it. He doesn't mean Callisto (remember how Callisto is both the "father" and the baby?), but the god of Eli. Abba (not the musical group, for the last time).
He's kind of putting Xena's baby on the same playing field as Hope (not Solo), Gabrielle's daughter who was conceived by Dahak.
And isn't that kind of an interesting thought? That Xena or Gabrielle never really thought to themselves, "Is this baby the next Hope?" Both were conceived under bizarre supernatural circumstances. Shouldn't that possibility have been at least broached?
Furthermore, for Zeus, the kid is going to cause the Twilight. It doesn't make sense to just let it happen if it can be stopped. (Can it? The Fates were talking about it. Fate's kind of hard to stop, you know?)
But Hercules is a good guy and he won't let Zeus kill the life of an innocent child (or her mother).
9) Xena and Gabrielle go back to the lake Xena used in season one when she first visited Tartarus. Good continuity!
10) Zeus wants to keep Hercules occupied, so after Hercules stomps out after their talk, he calls on Ares.
Now, my main problem with this episode is that fully understanding all of the dynamics of what's going on is kind of reliant on the audience also watching Hercules. Which I never did (except for the episodes in which Lucy and Renee guested on). So . . . I'm missing a lot of nuance.
But from what I can guess, Ares has spent a whole lot of time resenting Hercules because Zeus has always favored Hercules over Ares.
It's kind of cute, actually, that Ares is so jealous that Zeus likes Hercules more than him. I kind of love that Ares has daddy issues.
Ares agrees to help Zeus out under one condition: He has to have permission to stop Hercules with deadly force if necessary.
Zeus agrees, though it's odd that he does so, because he actually called Ares in because he didn't want to kill Hercules. I guess. I don't know. It's murky. But he loves Hercules, likes that he has humanity to him, so he, doesn't want him to die. So why is he okay giving Ares this permission?
11) The whole plan goes south, though, when Ares confronts Hercules and, before he's able to kill him, he's blasted in the back by Hera.
Now, as I understand it, all throughout Hercules, Hera was his big nemesis, always hurting him and his family and doing awful things.
So why is she helping him now?
12) Oh, yeah. Remember how Xena and Gabrielle are in Tartarus? I almost forgot, since Xena: Warrior Princess has temporarily turned into Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.
Well, they're down there and what do they find? Shock of all shock, they find Solan.
It's kind of poignantly sad. Solan actually volunteered to go to Tartarus because Hades told him that in the Elysian Fields no one knows they're dead and they spend day after day happy in anticipation of seeing the people they love without ever actually getting to see them. They're unaware of that, but still.
Solan's not a stupid boy. When you think about it, that is a pretty hollow afterlife.
So, he wanted to be in Tartarus, where he could at least remember Xena and see memories of her.
Pretty deep for a twelve year old.
13) So, we get a small idea of why Hera wants to help Hercules: I guess he saved her grandchild.
14) Xena, Gabrielle, and Solan are trying to make their escape to find the helmet of invisibility and Xena fully intents to take Solan to Elysium on her way. He reveals that he's jealous of the baby because once she gives birth she won't think about him anymore.
Poor little guy.
She's a good mom, though (surprisingly), and tells him that not a day goes by when she doesn't think about it. He'll always be her son and, perhaps more than that, he'll always remain a vision of hope (not Solo) for her. He was her proof, back when she was evil, that she wasn't all bad.
I mean, sure, it took her about ten years to actually forsake evil and, as season six shows us, she was up to some serious evil after Solan's birth, but hey. Hope is hope.
15) It's bad news for Xena, though. Before they can get to the helmet, they're surrounded by Hades and those fighting guys. Hades knows of the Twilight prophecy, too, and has no intention of letting Xena's baby be born. So, killing Xena? That works. Containing her in Tartarus until the baby's birth? That works, too.
But Gabrielle demonstrates her complete awesomeness by managing to grab the helmet. She puts it on, rendering herself invisible, and it able to do enough damage that it allows Xena and Solan the necessary distraction to make their escape.
I love Paternal!Gabrielle!
16) Hera, meanwhile, reveals deeper meaning behind helping Hercules help Xena. She wants to scare Zeus away from Xena and figures the threat of being killed by a Rib of Cronos will do that. She doesn't really want Zeus to get carried away with his fear of the Twilight.
As she tells Hercules, "Parents should never outlive their children." Meaning . . . The gods will go at some point no matter what. Humanity are their children. That's just the way it goes.
17) Ares, once he's recovered from Hera's blazing beat down, goes and rats on her, basically tipping Zeus off to the fact that, based on his whereabouts, Hercules is going after the Cronos Rib and that Hera is somehow in cahoots.
18) After he fucks up Zeus' relationship with Hera and Hercules, Ares makes his way down to Tartarus to offer some help to Xena.
Ares is unique in all of this. He obviously wants to remain a god but he also has some feelings towards Xena.
And they might be loving feelings. He can't admit it outloud to Xena (who is disgusted that Ares even hints in that direction), but he's definitely conflicted: His family or Xena?
19) Xena's got an added burden: She's starting to go into labor and, on top of that, Hades has found them.
Frak.
They're right at the mouth of Elysium, so she gives the helmet of invisibility to Solan and she and Gabrielle go to engage Hades and the fighting guys so that Solan can run across the guarded entrance between the two worlds.
It's a hardcore fight that doesn't end well for Hades: He tries to blast the shit out of her ala Hera and Ares, but she deflects it with her badass chakram.
That gives Solan the opportunity to get to Elysium and it allows, after a goodbye, Gabrielle and Xena to get back "on land", though it's never explained how they do so.
Still, they're not out of the woods. They're still be followed by Zeus' guys.
20) Zeus shows up just as Hercules is about to get a rib, but Hera does her hardcore thing and manages to take him temporarily out of commission, giving Hercules the time needed to get to Xena and kill those guys (who can also be killed by the rib).
And he gets there just in time: Xena's definitely in labor and Gabrielle is preoccupied with helping her, so he manages to take them out. (Well, actually, Xena and Gabrielle fight, too. Xena really is that badass.)
21) Hera had stopped Zeus from killing Hercules knowing that it meant that Zeus would likely kill her.
And he does. Because gods can kill other gods? Or maybe just Zeus can kill other gods.
22) So, yeah. Xena's finally giving birth and who is her ultimate birthing coach? Gabrielle, of course! Though she's mostly just hugging Xena and annoying her by talking and occasionally peeking at Xena's vaginal region to make sure everything's going smoothly (and Gabrielle would know a lot about smooth times down in Xena's vaginal region).
23) Meanwhile, Zeus finds Hercules and tries to kill him. Hercules manages to kill Zeus with the rib right before he goes after Xena.
Because this is television, Hercules and Zeus have a bit of a heart to heart. Zeus tells him, "You've never disappointed me. Especially today."
Huh? It comes out of nowhere, actually. All Zeus wants to do is live, right? But he's proud of Hercules for standing up for Xena and, like, humanity, so . . . He knows what he's doing is wrong. Yet he does it anyway, killing his wife along the way.
24) And, on top of that, where do gods go when they die, anyway? I assume they continue to exist because humans exist after they die, but I don't think we ever are told what happens to gods.
25) Oh, so, hey! Xena has a daughter. She names her Eve because, while they were in Tartarus, Solan suggested it.
So, hello baby Eve. Something tells me you're going to have an interesting life.
So that was God-Fearing Child. I wasn't really a fan. It was weird that the episode that features Xena giving birth, which the entire season has been leading up to, was more about Hercules, a dude from another show, than it was about Xena.
Maybe it's because Lucy had given birth and it was her first show back and they wanted to minimize what she had to do. (I actually don't know if it was her first show back after giving birth but I don't know she had given birth by the time they did this episode so . . .)
Whatever the reason, it felt strange. Maybe I'd like it better if I watched Hercules and could better understand and appreciate the dynamics between Hercules/Hera, Hera/Zeus, Zeus/Hercules, and Hercules/Ares but . . . It fell flat for me.
I like the idea of Gabrielle and Xena finding Solan in Tartarus, but it was rushed because they were too busy going back to Hercules. Lame.
So, I am happy that Xena's finally given birth but I wasn't happy with the delivery. Bummer. I'm going to give God-Fearing Child 2.5 out of 5 airlocks.