Winter Machismo
Just about anywhere you go in this country, you'll stumble on states with really nice summer weather. Aside from the occasional drought or heat-stroke inducing heat wave, there's really not too much to brag about when it comes to warm weather. I know that people from Texas and Florida get off on laughing at cold-weather states in the winter, when it's seventy degrees and sunny, but they have nothing on the bragging that cold-weather states do under the same conditions.
Those of us who live in states that have abysmally cold winter months likely find it miserable. I think the only people who really love the cold weather and the snow are the super outdoorsy, the insane, the Inuits, and warm-weather people who don't know any better. Notice, though, that any warm-weather person worth their stuff asks, after about a week of cold weather, "Um, so when does it start to warm up?"
Cold-weather people like to brag about this. Not to make people jealous, so much, but to prove how hardcore they are. We've been dealt the sad weather card and to make ourselves feel better that we don't live in Georgia or Hawaii or New Mexico, we have to psych people out.
Like . . .
"When it is going to warm up? Well, if we're lucky, March. But don't be surprised when we get that huge snowstorm in April."
Or . . .
"Oh, it's 31 degrees where you live? Wow, that's cold. You know, here in Michigan it was 15 with a windchill of -5. I got wind burn and my face is screaming hot!"
Or . . .
"It snowed where you are? First snow of the season? That's so great! Yeah, I remember last month when we got that huge snowstorm and all the schools were canceled. I think they said it was about two and a half feet? I can't believe they thought the buses couldn't drive through that."
Or . . .
"Today was so nice! It was 25 degrees. You should have seen it! Everyone had on their shorts and sandals. Block par-tay!"
The thing is, I also think cold-weather people are apologetic when the weather isn't as hardcore as it can be. Like, this week in Michigan, it's supposed to be kind of warm. I think it's supposed to be in the 40s this weekend. It's cool, I like it, I'll be super warm, but in my head, I'm like, "How can I rationalize this warm weather? It's December in Michigan. This is ridiculous. We can't have this kind of weather in December in Michigan, dammit!"
Our weather sucks and the only way we can feel better about it is to brag about our mettle as we suffer. It's our weather-lot in life. We need to prove that we're more hardcore than everyone else. It gives us something to hold on to as we wait for the weather to break the 30s, which is when we'll all go out to sun bathe.
Those of us who live in states that have abysmally cold winter months likely find it miserable. I think the only people who really love the cold weather and the snow are the super outdoorsy, the insane, the Inuits, and warm-weather people who don't know any better. Notice, though, that any warm-weather person worth their stuff asks, after about a week of cold weather, "Um, so when does it start to warm up?"
Cold-weather people like to brag about this. Not to make people jealous, so much, but to prove how hardcore they are. We've been dealt the sad weather card and to make ourselves feel better that we don't live in Georgia or Hawaii or New Mexico, we have to psych people out.
Like . . .
"When it is going to warm up? Well, if we're lucky, March. But don't be surprised when we get that huge snowstorm in April."
Or . . .
"Oh, it's 31 degrees where you live? Wow, that's cold. You know, here in Michigan it was 15 with a windchill of -5. I got wind burn and my face is screaming hot!"
Or . . .
"It snowed where you are? First snow of the season? That's so great! Yeah, I remember last month when we got that huge snowstorm and all the schools were canceled. I think they said it was about two and a half feet? I can't believe they thought the buses couldn't drive through that."
Or . . .
"Today was so nice! It was 25 degrees. You should have seen it! Everyone had on their shorts and sandals. Block par-tay!"
The thing is, I also think cold-weather people are apologetic when the weather isn't as hardcore as it can be. Like, this week in Michigan, it's supposed to be kind of warm. I think it's supposed to be in the 40s this weekend. It's cool, I like it, I'll be super warm, but in my head, I'm like, "How can I rationalize this warm weather? It's December in Michigan. This is ridiculous. We can't have this kind of weather in December in Michigan, dammit!"
Our weather sucks and the only way we can feel better about it is to brag about our mettle as we suffer. It's our weather-lot in life. We need to prove that we're more hardcore than everyone else. It gives us something to hold on to as we wait for the weather to break the 30s, which is when we'll all go out to sun bathe.