A Thanksgiving Humiliation... (long)
So, he basically informed me that the following things offended them:
- I told Brad to shut up (I did so in a joking manner when he made fun of me during Charades).
- I told Brad to “bite me” (also done while laughing when he made fun of me during charades)
- I teased his cousin Blake and called him a “nose picker” (this one I find particularly hilarious because I said that to him in response to him saying the same thing to me since I kept having to blow my nose so when he blew his nose I called him a “nose picker”)
- I was laughing way too much in a "drunken manner"
- I went to bed early and it must have been because Brad put me to bed since I was “so drunk”
I was and still am completely mortified. Brad said he didn’t think I had to apologize and that it was stupid and I wasn’t drunk and he didn’t know where they were coming from and neither did his sister. I however thought I should just apologize rather than allow hard feelings. His family has always been nothing but nice to me and I adore them. Besides, who wants an elephant in the room? Not I.
So, I went downstairs and asked his mother and father if I could speak to them (keep in mind I’m feeling about three years old at this point). Brad joined us and I basically said that I had heard they were offended by some things I did on Thanksgiving and that it wasn’t my intention to offend them or make them feel awkward in any way and that I was very sorry. They just stared at me which of course made me continue talking. So, I said that I didn’t want them to think I was disrespectful to their son and that he and I do not tell each other to shut up and that I had said that in a joking manner and was so sorry they thought I was belittling him.
After this they then went on for the next several minutes saying things like:
“It was so hard for us to watch you crash and burn, we really wanted to help you but didn’t know how and everyone was looking at each other and no one knew what to do”
“We couldn’t believe you’d talk to our son that way and it was a bit shocking.”
“Perhaps we’re a bit sensitive on the alcohol issue. We’re just not used to seeing someone drink so much.”
Etc, etc, etc.
So, my simple apology became a 15 minute discussion during which I wanted to drive a nail through my forehead and my stomach officially felt like it was full of lead pellets. Ask.
I went upstairs and nearly started bawling because I couldn’t believe what had just transpired! They even asked me to write a formal apology letter to everyone present! I asked Brad if I had somehow gotten mysteriously wasted and offended everyone there and he was just gray. He said he had NO IDEA where his parents were coming from and he just kept hugging me and saying he was sorry.
His sister came to our room and gave me a hug and said that she was in the laundry room near where we were all chatting and that just listening to the whole conversation we'd just had was painful to her. She reassured me I had done nothing and that no one was looking at each other as if I were some kind of doof and that everything was fine.
Next thing I know we’re being called down for dinner. They always say grace before dinner so we hold hands while his father says grace and then we all say, “Amen.” His mother than says that we need to hold hands again because she has something to add and so we do. She adds, “And Lord, thank you for giving Jessica the strength to apologize for her mistakes and own up to them. It’s a hard thing to do and we’re glad she can recognize her wrongs.” Argh! I wanted to throw something.
I made it through dinner and then through dessert and even a few quick games of Speed Scrabble even though I wanted to flee.
Needless to say, that night in bed Brad and I talked for a long time. I’m still not sure how else I could have handled the situation without creating hard feelings between his parents and me but now I’m left feeling utterly horrid! I truly love his family and now I just feel so, judged, and wrongly so. Not only was I not drunk, but I had less wine than severa; of the people there, which isn't even really the point, but for some reason I’m the “black sheep.” Whatever. Can you tell I’m bitter? It doesn't help that I COMPLETELY obsess over everything. I'm one of those geeky people that wants everyone to like them and I don't handle it very well when I think someone thinks badly of me.
Since his parents had requested I send out a formal apology I decided to do email because I really didn't think this warranted sending out formal letters via post. So, I sent out a short apology letter to everyone present in the form of an email. Each email was about how happy I was to see each person, blah, blah, blah and then somewhere in it I wrote something to the effect of, “I understand that some of my actions on Thanksgiving may have left some people feeling awkward and I truly hope I didn’t offend you in any way.” From each person I have received a consensus of opinions telling me I didn't make them feel awkward and that they had lots of fun and so on except for one from B’s aunt (I knew Brad’s mom had told her all about the fact that I’d be sending apologies) and she wrote back this hysterical email all about how she could have cared less and that I didn’t do anything offensive and she loved having me down there. She even wrote me a few stories about herself and Brad’s mother involving getting truly drunk in front of family and then said again, I didn’t think you were drunk though. But, she did tell me that since such a big deal was made out of everything that I’d probably be suffering from years of mockery as a result.
Great.