Step-Son
Does anyone out there have a step-child??? I have a 13 year old step-son that I'm concerned about. Not because of drugs or bad behaviour, etc. but his emotional well-being is starting to concern me more and more.
Daulton lives with his mother and step-father in Moose Jaw. They've been there for just over a year now. He entered grade 7 in Moose Jaw and that was his 7th school - this concerns me deeply as there's nothing more that a child needs than consistency. He and his mother have always gotten along well and although he's had some differences with is step-father Dave, things appear to be good on that front as well.
Some of the things that I don't like about the way he's being parented:
He spent the summer with us - we had a great time and Alexandra loves him so much. It was so hard to see him go, and the end of the summer is always bad for the whole family - we all live in a funk for a few weeks, adjusting to him not being around. It is especially hard on Alex.
When we were out for the funeral he confided in both Mike and I that there are some issues at home. Mike told him that he's always welcome to come live with us - however it's not just and escape and holiday time. There are rules and expectations at our house too. He's also made comments to Mike's parents about the differences in life (not lifestyle) between living with us and living with his mom.
When we phoned out there yesterday, he was back staying with his grandma again.
Mike and I have had quite a few conversations about this, and are trying to decide what our next steps should be. Do we now try and uproot him again to have him come live with us? Do we hope that things at home get better and chalk it up to the teenage years?
Help!
Daulton lives with his mother and step-father in Moose Jaw. They've been there for just over a year now. He entered grade 7 in Moose Jaw and that was his 7th school - this concerns me deeply as there's nothing more that a child needs than consistency. He and his mother have always gotten along well and although he's had some differences with is step-father Dave, things appear to be good on that front as well.
Some of the things that I don't like about the way he's being parented:
- he STILL does not tie his shoes well, and opts for knotting the laces so he doesn't have to.
- he STILL can't tell time on a regular clock
- he is so smart yet consistently makes comments to me like - I'm not smart enough to read that.
- he packs his own bag to come to Calgary or wherever - that in itself isn't a bad thing, however I would have him lay his clothes out and do a quick check before he packs it. Last year he came for the summer with 4 pairs of underwear and when he came out to the funeral for Mike's grandma, he brought only t-shirts and jeans, and all his t-shirts had skulls etc. on them. (he turned one of his shirts inside out for the funeral because we couldn't find anything for him in Gravelbourg)
- he has to do his own laundry
- his school grades are below where I think they should be - however he did tell us that his mom has now required him to maintain a 75% average, although I don't know what the consequences of not are.
He spent the summer with us - we had a great time and Alexandra loves him so much. It was so hard to see him go, and the end of the summer is always bad for the whole family - we all live in a funk for a few weeks, adjusting to him not being around. It is especially hard on Alex.
When we were out for the funeral he confided in both Mike and I that there are some issues at home. Mike told him that he's always welcome to come live with us - however it's not just and escape and holiday time. There are rules and expectations at our house too. He's also made comments to Mike's parents about the differences in life (not lifestyle) between living with us and living with his mom.
When we phoned out there yesterday, he was back staying with his grandma again.
Mike and I have had quite a few conversations about this, and are trying to decide what our next steps should be. Do we now try and uproot him again to have him come live with us? Do we hope that things at home get better and chalk it up to the teenage years?
Help!