Wow, I'm just too lazy for LJ...
So anyway, here's the short version of the doomed honeymoon:
1. Wife's luggage never left home
2. Time share guy's pounce, Wife nearly rips his head off when he says "just go buy new stuff" to replace lost luggage.
3. Hotel fails to mention there is no electricity beyond 1st floor in the building. It's 95 degrees.
4. Only 1 towel in the room.
5. Bar is not open.
6. 1st floor power fails - no elevators or outdoor lights. Climb 12 flights in the dark.
7. Day 2 - still no power.
8. Bar not open.
9. Wal-Mart leaves electronic security tag on the clothes Wife bought.
10. 1st floor power fails - no elevators or outdoor lights. Climb 12 flights in the dark AGAIN
11. No luggage, no electricity, bar not open, dining room not open, we're starving.
13. Electricity comes on, but even with power, the AC is still out. Cleaning lady walk in on our locked door while we're changing clothes. Luggage arrives. We grab it and switch to another hotel.
14. New hotel is awesome. Nice pool, bar is open, plenty of towels...I get deathly sick with malaria or flu. 104 temp, chills, aches and general dying. I'm out for 2 days.
15. I start feeling better, Wife...not so much.
16. Time to start packing.
17. Fly to Houston for connection, we have 80 minute layover. We sit on runway for 45 minutes.
18. We run like hell all over the airport, through security, customs, baggage claim, check-in, security again...flat out sprinting from place to place...
19. ...we reach the gate, the door is closed, our names are listed on the monitor under "waiting for".
20. Effeminate little pansy working for airline get's his panties in a wad because I slapped my passport on the little kiosk. I begin a blue-streak tirade - stopping just short of threatening to kick his gay little ass. I was pissed, but I'm not STUPID. I'm sure that would be a federal crime to beat up an airport employee. Our luggage is on it's way home without us.
21. 2 hours until next flight home. We eat at Chili's. Bar is most assuredly open, and I take full advantage.
22. Board plane. Jerkwad flight attendant fails to seal the cabin door correctly, alarms sound. "Nothing we can do until we land" he says. Very comforting to know that the door is ajar and we're going 400 mph at 35,000 feet. I'm 2 rows away from said door. My legs go numb from constantly tightening my seatbelt.
23. Landed, found our luggage right away, got a cab right away - the first good luck we've had all week.
24. Home. Sleep. Call in sick the next day. Sleep some more.
There ya have it!
1. Wife's luggage never left home
2. Time share guy's pounce, Wife nearly rips his head off when he says "just go buy new stuff" to replace lost luggage.
3. Hotel fails to mention there is no electricity beyond 1st floor in the building. It's 95 degrees.
4. Only 1 towel in the room.
5. Bar is not open.
6. 1st floor power fails - no elevators or outdoor lights. Climb 12 flights in the dark.
7. Day 2 - still no power.
8. Bar not open.
9. Wal-Mart leaves electronic security tag on the clothes Wife bought.
10. 1st floor power fails - no elevators or outdoor lights. Climb 12 flights in the dark AGAIN
11. No luggage, no electricity, bar not open, dining room not open, we're starving.
13. Electricity comes on, but even with power, the AC is still out. Cleaning lady walk in on our locked door while we're changing clothes. Luggage arrives. We grab it and switch to another hotel.
14. New hotel is awesome. Nice pool, bar is open, plenty of towels...I get deathly sick with malaria or flu. 104 temp, chills, aches and general dying. I'm out for 2 days.
15. I start feeling better, Wife...not so much.
16. Time to start packing.
17. Fly to Houston for connection, we have 80 minute layover. We sit on runway for 45 minutes.
18. We run like hell all over the airport, through security, customs, baggage claim, check-in, security again...flat out sprinting from place to place...
19. ...we reach the gate, the door is closed, our names are listed on the monitor under "waiting for".
20. Effeminate little pansy working for airline get's his panties in a wad because I slapped my passport on the little kiosk. I begin a blue-streak tirade - stopping just short of threatening to kick his gay little ass. I was pissed, but I'm not STUPID. I'm sure that would be a federal crime to beat up an airport employee. Our luggage is on it's way home without us.
21. 2 hours until next flight home. We eat at Chili's. Bar is most assuredly open, and I take full advantage.
22. Board plane. Jerkwad flight attendant fails to seal the cabin door correctly, alarms sound. "Nothing we can do until we land" he says. Very comforting to know that the door is ajar and we're going 400 mph at 35,000 feet. I'm 2 rows away from said door. My legs go numb from constantly tightening my seatbelt.
23. Landed, found our luggage right away, got a cab right away - the first good luck we've had all week.
24. Home. Sleep. Call in sick the next day. Sleep some more.
There ya have it!