Nine Days. You know, like the band.
For those of you who haven't heard, I had quite the rough day yesterday. I woke up to a very disturbing voicemail from a good friend of mine, flipped out, tried to contact her roommate via facebook (since I didn't have any of her contact info), eventually ended up calling her parents, who told me she was in the hospital and her mom was flying in at 6 pm and could I pick her up from the MARTA station. I said of course. Then my friend called me, told me she was at the hospital and wanted me to come see her. So Marcus (after calling Joel and Shosh, who apparently had been throwing me a surprise party last night...of course...to tell them we had to change the plans) took me to the hospital where we made our way into the ER (where my friend was). At first we had a scare because the nurse said she had just "disappeared"...but then I saw her walking down the hall. We got her back into her room, where I finally got a chance to talk with her. She was so far gone...it was really scary. She was talking about the time-space continuum collapsing, and something about Tom Cruise and scientology, and the atomic bomb. She showed me a note she had wrote for herself on her blackberry, and it was half a page of nonsense...it didn't form a sentence or any coherent thoughts except for "Einstein was a Jew". And she wouldn't tell the doctor anything because she was a resident. Finally the attending doctor came in, and she apparently talked to him more because he was "older". Basically, the most I can figure out is that she believes she has a brain tumor (because her uncle died from a brain tumor several years back), and this is all her reaction (or as she put it, "the stages of grief") to that information. Which of course is completely psychological, as there's been NO evidence prior to this that would lead anyone to think she had any kind of physical ailment, and certainly not a brain tumor. But anyway, it was really scary to see her like that.
We left the hospital, went grocery shopping, then went back home. Joel and Shosh and Amanda had moved the party (which was no longer a surprise, for obvious reasons) to our apartment. They brought all kinds of food and decorations, and ROCK BAND! We hung out for a while until my friend's mom called to let me know her plane had landed. Marcus and I went and picked her up, took her to my friend's house, waited for her to call the hospital and see if she could go visit (which she could), then guided her to the hospital before returning to our apartment for the party. My friends are awesome for making the party for me, and I'm really sorry that I wasn't at all into it. I did play some Rock Band though ;) Anyway...it was a really long day, and now I'm just trying to get by, ten minutes at a time. I really can't think ahead further than that right now. I'm so scared that they won't be able to bring her back...that I'll never have a real conversation with her again...that I've lost my friend forever. Marcus tells me to have faith in the health care system, but I don't know. I mean, doctors are just people too...albeit highly trained people, lol, but still people, and they, like anyone, are limited by the bounds of human knowledge. I know my friend is not the first person to ever have what appears (to me at least) to be a psychotic break...but I don't know how often and how successfully doctors can bring those people back. My doctor (or med school) friends - any helpful input?
So I'm still half-heartedly counting down to things, although I won't enjoy them really unless the situation significantly improves by then. I'm sort of caught right now in between feeling extremely worried/stressed, and feeling completely numb and apathetic. Part of me is trying not to slip into apathy, but part of me wants to...it'd just be so much easier than the alternative. Which is exactly why I don't WANT to. But we'll see how it goes.
Countdowns
Hanukkah: 6 days
Winter Break: 9 days
New Years: 2 weeks, 2 days
We left the hospital, went grocery shopping, then went back home. Joel and Shosh and Amanda had moved the party (which was no longer a surprise, for obvious reasons) to our apartment. They brought all kinds of food and decorations, and ROCK BAND! We hung out for a while until my friend's mom called to let me know her plane had landed. Marcus and I went and picked her up, took her to my friend's house, waited for her to call the hospital and see if she could go visit (which she could), then guided her to the hospital before returning to our apartment for the party. My friends are awesome for making the party for me, and I'm really sorry that I wasn't at all into it. I did play some Rock Band though ;) Anyway...it was a really long day, and now I'm just trying to get by, ten minutes at a time. I really can't think ahead further than that right now. I'm so scared that they won't be able to bring her back...that I'll never have a real conversation with her again...that I've lost my friend forever. Marcus tells me to have faith in the health care system, but I don't know. I mean, doctors are just people too...albeit highly trained people, lol, but still people, and they, like anyone, are limited by the bounds of human knowledge. I know my friend is not the first person to ever have what appears (to me at least) to be a psychotic break...but I don't know how often and how successfully doctors can bring those people back. My doctor (or med school) friends - any helpful input?
So I'm still half-heartedly counting down to things, although I won't enjoy them really unless the situation significantly improves by then. I'm sort of caught right now in between feeling extremely worried/stressed, and feeling completely numb and apathetic. Part of me is trying not to slip into apathy, but part of me wants to...it'd just be so much easier than the alternative. Which is exactly why I don't WANT to. But we'll see how it goes.
Countdowns
Hanukkah: 6 days
Winter Break: 9 days
New Years: 2 weeks, 2 days