"Open up your mind and see like me"
I apologize in advance for the ranting contained in this post :-P
Joel and Shosh's wedding turned out to be lots of fun! The whole weekend was great, the car rides were a little crazy, but fun (lol), and it was really good to see some friends I hadn't seen in a long time and also to meet some new friends! The only bad thing was that I really didn't get much sleep over the weekend, so I'm REALLY tired now, which is probably contributing to my lack of patience at the moment. But more on that later.
I'm excited for this weekend, because I (hopefully) get to see Pearl, yay! I really miss having her around to talk to, we always have the best conversations. And right now, for the first time, I'm really starting to understand why she sometimes pulls away from everyone and just can't deal with people. So I'm glad that she'll be around and we can commiserate about our frustrations. It's nice to have someone to talk to who can understand these things.
Which brings me to the real point of this entry. A few weeks ago, I posted on a friend's facebook wall accusing her (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) of being flaky. At the time, I debated whether or not to post it, but I assumed she was mature enough to take it as I meant it - especially considering that I put about 3 disclaimers in the post saying that it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Well, apparently I was wrong. The next day, she disabled her facebook account entirely, and proceeded to drop off the face of the planet for several weeks. The worst part is, she's one of Marcus's best friends, and she apparently decided that all this had something to do with him (which it didn't), and so she disappeared on HIM for all this time too, with no warning whatsoever. Then she finally talked to him last night, and basically, she thinks that I hate her. That's what happened. Now, here is my reaction, in all its ugly glory :-P
First of all, let me say straight off the bat that I do NOT hate her. She frustrates me to no end (because she IS flaky, and she's even admitted to that before), and sometimes I get pretty pissed off at her (mostly because of the flakiness, but also the way she treats Marcus), but I don't HATE her. Actually, I like her, and I'd like to be friends with her. But she seems to be dead set on me hating her, because she interprets EVERYTHING I say and do to mean that I hate her. At this point, I honestly don't know what I could say or do to convince her otherwise. Now, why does she think I hate her? Well, if you ask me, she is projecting.
As evidence to the fact that she is prone to projecting, let me present Exhibit A: about a week prior to the facebook wall post fiasco, she and Marcus had plans to go to lunch at IHOP. She never showed, and he sat at IHOP waiting for half an hour. He didn't hear from her until DAYS later, and he was really worried about her that whole time. Last night, she accused him of not making time for her. Now, you be the judge: who's not making time for who in this scenario? Yeah, that's what I thought.
So anyway, I think that in reality, she hates me (or at least resents me) for "stealing" Marcus away from her. Which of course, I haven't actually done, and he's always trying to make plans with her that she later breaks...not to mention that I always make a concerted effort to NOT come between them, and to give them as much time alone together as they want...but that's irrelevant, apparently. So at the very least, I feel like she resents me for changing the nature of their friendship. And she is projecting that onto me, interpreting everything I say and do to mean that I hate her. Which I don't.
Now, as little as a year ago, this would have really bothered me. I would've been really upset that she felt that way, that my words were misinterpreted, that she has surely a very negative opinion of me. But now...I honestly feel like I don't care. I'm annoyed that the situation even exists, because this is not how two adults react to a situation. I'm sick of the immaturity and stupid, useless drama of people in general, not just her. And as I say that in my head, it sounds JUST LIKE what Pearl has said to me many times over the past couple of years. And I'm really starting to understand it. I am so sick of being frustrated by people's need to feel that the world revolves around them. If this friend honestly thinks that I would take the time out of my life to HATE her, send her mean-spirited facebook wall posts, and intentionally try to ruin her friendship with Marcus, she needs to think again and snap back to reality. First of all, I don't know her well enough to hate her, even if I wanted to, which I don't. Second, I've never shown her anything but friendship attempts, and still this is not the first time she's disappeared for weeks because she felt that I disliked her. To be honest, I have enough flaky friends as it is, and I just don't have the emotional energy to invest in trying to maintain a friendship with another person from just one side. So no, I don't hate her. But if she wants to be friends, she needs to do her part of that. Because for once, I don't care enough to do it for her. So the way I see it, the ball is in her court. And until she decides to let me in on what's going on (because the only reason I know is that I overheard Marcus talking to her on the phone last night, since he didn't decide to leave the room, haha), because I'm not even supposed to know yet, apparently, even though I had already guessed as soon as she disabled her facebook account, I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. It's not because I hate her, I don't. I just plain don't have the energy. And that's the story of that.
After debating whether to make this entry friends-only, I have decided not to. If she happens to see it, too bad. I'm sick of censoring myself. I'm honest to a fault, I know that. So if she really thinks I'm lying to her face telling her that I want to be friends when I really "hate" her, then she can get over herself and see that that's not the case if she happens to read this. Which I'm sure she won't anyway.
Seriously, I thought I left high school behind 7 years ago. Why are people still so immature?!? I just don't get it.
And for the record, she's not the only person I'm frustrated with over an immaturity issue right now. It's just the most recent example, and the one that seems to have tipped me over the edge :-P
Thanks for listening.
Joel and Shosh's wedding turned out to be lots of fun! The whole weekend was great, the car rides were a little crazy, but fun (lol), and it was really good to see some friends I hadn't seen in a long time and also to meet some new friends! The only bad thing was that I really didn't get much sleep over the weekend, so I'm REALLY tired now, which is probably contributing to my lack of patience at the moment. But more on that later.
I'm excited for this weekend, because I (hopefully) get to see Pearl, yay! I really miss having her around to talk to, we always have the best conversations. And right now, for the first time, I'm really starting to understand why she sometimes pulls away from everyone and just can't deal with people. So I'm glad that she'll be around and we can commiserate about our frustrations. It's nice to have someone to talk to who can understand these things.
Which brings me to the real point of this entry. A few weeks ago, I posted on a friend's facebook wall accusing her (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) of being flaky. At the time, I debated whether or not to post it, but I assumed she was mature enough to take it as I meant it - especially considering that I put about 3 disclaimers in the post saying that it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Well, apparently I was wrong. The next day, she disabled her facebook account entirely, and proceeded to drop off the face of the planet for several weeks. The worst part is, she's one of Marcus's best friends, and she apparently decided that all this had something to do with him (which it didn't), and so she disappeared on HIM for all this time too, with no warning whatsoever. Then she finally talked to him last night, and basically, she thinks that I hate her. That's what happened. Now, here is my reaction, in all its ugly glory :-P
First of all, let me say straight off the bat that I do NOT hate her. She frustrates me to no end (because she IS flaky, and she's even admitted to that before), and sometimes I get pretty pissed off at her (mostly because of the flakiness, but also the way she treats Marcus), but I don't HATE her. Actually, I like her, and I'd like to be friends with her. But she seems to be dead set on me hating her, because she interprets EVERYTHING I say and do to mean that I hate her. At this point, I honestly don't know what I could say or do to convince her otherwise. Now, why does she think I hate her? Well, if you ask me, she is projecting.
As evidence to the fact that she is prone to projecting, let me present Exhibit A: about a week prior to the facebook wall post fiasco, she and Marcus had plans to go to lunch at IHOP. She never showed, and he sat at IHOP waiting for half an hour. He didn't hear from her until DAYS later, and he was really worried about her that whole time. Last night, she accused him of not making time for her. Now, you be the judge: who's not making time for who in this scenario? Yeah, that's what I thought.
So anyway, I think that in reality, she hates me (or at least resents me) for "stealing" Marcus away from her. Which of course, I haven't actually done, and he's always trying to make plans with her that she later breaks...not to mention that I always make a concerted effort to NOT come between them, and to give them as much time alone together as they want...but that's irrelevant, apparently. So at the very least, I feel like she resents me for changing the nature of their friendship. And she is projecting that onto me, interpreting everything I say and do to mean that I hate her. Which I don't.
Now, as little as a year ago, this would have really bothered me. I would've been really upset that she felt that way, that my words were misinterpreted, that she has surely a very negative opinion of me. But now...I honestly feel like I don't care. I'm annoyed that the situation even exists, because this is not how two adults react to a situation. I'm sick of the immaturity and stupid, useless drama of people in general, not just her. And as I say that in my head, it sounds JUST LIKE what Pearl has said to me many times over the past couple of years. And I'm really starting to understand it. I am so sick of being frustrated by people's need to feel that the world revolves around them. If this friend honestly thinks that I would take the time out of my life to HATE her, send her mean-spirited facebook wall posts, and intentionally try to ruin her friendship with Marcus, she needs to think again and snap back to reality. First of all, I don't know her well enough to hate her, even if I wanted to, which I don't. Second, I've never shown her anything but friendship attempts, and still this is not the first time she's disappeared for weeks because she felt that I disliked her. To be honest, I have enough flaky friends as it is, and I just don't have the emotional energy to invest in trying to maintain a friendship with another person from just one side. So no, I don't hate her. But if she wants to be friends, she needs to do her part of that. Because for once, I don't care enough to do it for her. So the way I see it, the ball is in her court. And until she decides to let me in on what's going on (because the only reason I know is that I overheard Marcus talking to her on the phone last night, since he didn't decide to leave the room, haha), because I'm not even supposed to know yet, apparently, even though I had already guessed as soon as she disabled her facebook account, I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. It's not because I hate her, I don't. I just plain don't have the energy. And that's the story of that.
After debating whether to make this entry friends-only, I have decided not to. If she happens to see it, too bad. I'm sick of censoring myself. I'm honest to a fault, I know that. So if she really thinks I'm lying to her face telling her that I want to be friends when I really "hate" her, then she can get over herself and see that that's not the case if she happens to read this. Which I'm sure she won't anyway.
Seriously, I thought I left high school behind 7 years ago. Why are people still so immature?!? I just don't get it.
And for the record, she's not the only person I'm frustrated with over an immaturity issue right now. It's just the most recent example, and the one that seems to have tipped me over the edge :-P
Thanks for listening.