Not Quite, Dark Blue, Dean/Ty, R
Title: Not Quite
Author: taylor_serenil
Summary: Dean comes to an uncomfortable realization.
Pairing: pre-series Dean/Ty
Rating: R
Length: ~6K
Disclaimer: Not mine. All for fun, not for money.
Warnings/notes: Semi-explicit slash and het (Dean's rating Ty in bed, among other things). Not only did I not write dime_for_12 the post-Shot in the Dark Dean/Carter breakup fic she wanted, I made her beta her consolation prize. But as always, she came through like a champ and polished the rough edges off beautifully. Crossposted, and on ff.net as cracked-out.
Not Quite
When Ty tells him he thinks this girl could be The One so he doesn't want to keep hooking up with Dean, Dean doesn't feel used. But what he does feel isn't exactly making him jump for joy, either.
Because right now, he feels vaguely jealous--and kind of like what he assumes being dumped feels like.
First off, he's got no right to feel like that. Ty never once told him they were anything but best friends with benefits. And hell, it's not exactly like they were exclusive even if you don't count all the threesomes they had. Dean was picking up girls the entire time they were hooking up, and he's pretty sure Ty was too.
He'd quit hooking up with random guys, but not because Ty ever asked him to. More like he'd had one too many arguments turn nasty over them wanting to go bareback, and when Ty was both fine with protection and more than willing to provide a little stress relief when Dean needed it, adding to his guy total just didn't seem worthwhile any more.
And hooking up with Ty had more benefits than just getting off. He didn't have to worry that he was going to pick the wrong guy and get fucked up instead of just fucked, he didn't have to worry about being outed because Ty had just as much to lose as he did, and the sex was surprisingly good.
Ty's not the best fuck Dean's ever had, but he was definitely up there. Ty always made sure both that Dean was at least adequately prepped and that he got his, which was way better than a lot of guys he's been with. Him never having a problem going down--Dean's had plenty of guys that wanted him to blow them but wouldn't return the favor, so that was a pleasant change as well. Dean was really surprised the first time Ty bottomed for him, though. He definitely wasn't expecting it, and he would never have asked, either.
He'd always figured multiple repeat engagements would get boring, but in their case it mostly meant they really started to know each other's bulletproof kinks. Dean doesn't like to admit it even to himself, but sex with someone he actually gave a shit about outside of bed was kind of a nice change, too.
And that scares him. Because what that someone being a guy implies about him isn't something he really wants to deal with.
Dean's been hooking up with guys almost as long as he's been hooking up with girls, but he's sure as hell never done anything more than a pick-up with one before Ty. Hell, a fair number of them he didn't even bother to get a name, let alone a number for a repeat engagement. And after the first few times, he's had sex with Ty more times than he's ever even hooked up with the same girl.
Dean's got no problem admitting to himself he likes fucking guys sometimes, but what he feels like now means he's probably bi enough to date one, and that's entirely different. And way more dangerous in a lot of ways.
Considering how many times he's hooked up with Ty, he'd pretty much be a hypocrite if he had a problem with it if Dean did have a serious guy in his life. And he thinks if he did, Carter would have way more problems, other than the obvious safety issues, with the serious part than the guy part. He's never come across as the homophobe a lot of cops are, and a lot of little things during the time Dean's worked for him make Dean think he might have even taken a walk or two on the guy side. Carter pretty much knows everything anyway, so he probably knows both that Dean and Ty have been hooking up and about how long. Which means he knows Dean's not exactly straight and Ty really isn't either.
But that all-too-common homophobia is exactly the problem. His team might not have that much of a problem with it if he did more than the pickup thing, but Dean and the rest of them depend on their backup being on time and actually doing their jobs when they get there. And even the one-night-stands with guys that are Dean's usual habit are enough to jeopardize that, let alone if he actually had a boyfriend and the wrong guy found out about it.
And Dean's not really ready to do the serious relationship thing anyway even if he's just realized he came closer than he thought with Ty. He's never managed anything near monogamy, if nothing else. And he's fairly sure that's usually one of the things that serious implies. Thinking back on the last year, he realizes he was closer to it than he thought there too, though. He definitely didn't stop picking up girls by himself, but he did slow down significantly. Ty and him did enough threesomes to satisfy a lot of his desire to fuck girls, eat pussy, and play with tits.
If he did that much for someone he wasn't dating, down the line he might manage something vaguely approximating monogamy for someone he was. The flash of Carter he gets then also scares him. He's always thought Carter's hot--hell, Ty even thinks that, and Ty's way straighter than Dean is. But he's always known Carter's way off limits, too--not so much for the boss thing, because Dean really doesn't care that much about that, but because Carter comes across as the kind of guy who wants a relationship, not just the kind of setup him and Ty had.
All this thought is making Dean want to get drunk off his ass and hopefully forget all about this little revelation.
Fin