The Difference Between Love and Need, Dark Blue, Ty/Dean/Carter (Ty/Melissa, Dean/Carter), NC-17
Title: The Difference Between Love and Need
Author: taylor_serenil
Spoilers: Slight for Guns, Strippers, and Wives.
Summary: Love isn't everything.
Grouping: The rating is for Ty/Dean/Carter, but the relationships are detailed in the notes.
Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All for fun, not for money.
Quick notes/warnings: Infidelity (notice who the rating's for). Angst. Explicit slash. Heavy Ty/Melissa nonexplicit het component. Implied Dean/Carter. Blink-and-you'll-miss-it mention of Dean/Carter/Jaimie. Brief hint of Jaimie/OFC femslash. I am cracked-out on ff.net, so if you see this there, it isn't plagarized. Many thanks to dime_for_12 for her patience through multiple versions of this. As always, her beta services improved this in so many ways that I can't express all of them. An unbetaed, unfinished version of this was previously posted on my journal. This is the betaed version with NC-17 details. Crossposted.
The Difference Between Love and Need
Ty's not happy. He hoped marriage to a woman he loves deeply would keep these demons away. But then, the need riding him right now has nothing to do with love. At least not for him--Dean and Carter, well, those two have always been weird about each other, and Ty wouldn't be surprised at all if they're doing each other for more than just stress relief.
Melissa looks like she's picking up on his mood. Ty's already planning out his defense for the way he's been lately.
"Ty, what is it? You've been acting strange the last few times you've been home. Is there someone else? Some woman you used to be with before me or something?"
Ty just shakes his head. "There's no other woman, babe." And that's true--even seeing Gina hadn't really dented his desire to stay faithful the way thinking about Dean and Carter has been lately.
"Then what is it? Bad case at work? Something you can't even trust your wife with?" Melissa sounds hurt, and Ty knows if he answers her questions honestly that hurt is only going to grow. But at the same time, he doesn't really want to lie to her--doesn't want to start down that slippery slope.
"Don't look at me, okay? I'll tell you, just don't look at me. And when you walk, don't tell anybody why, either."
Melissa draws in a quick breath as she closes her eyes, obviously bracing for the blow.
"I told you there's no other woman. That's true, but it's not the whole truth. Before you--Dean and Carter and me, we had a little stress relief thing going." Ty's never told anyone this. There's never been anyone to tell. He's never quit them for anyone before either--nobody before Melissa was serious enough to bother his conscience about how he chose to wind down.
Melissa's eyes fly open in shock. She looks like she's about ready to slap him, and Ty's going to let her if she does. "And you miss that? Being with them?"
There's pain lacing the anger, and it slices straight through to Ty's soul. Because he does, and he shouldn't. "I told you you were going to walk when you found out."
"How am I supposed to react to finding out my husband has been with two of his male co-workers on what sounds like a semi-regular basis? Were you ever with Jaimie?"
"That one I'm innocent of. Never have been, never wanted to either." And that, at least, is true. "And it was never anything for me but stress relief. I never expected to still want it once I got with you." And that's true too, not that it means much considering that he does want it, want them.
Melissa closes her eyes again without Ty asking her to. He thinks she's trying to shut him out now, and the next words out of her mouth shock him. "If you did, would it help you be the Ty I fell in love with? Would it help you shed that undercover you faster and more completely than you have been lately?"
Honesty deserves honesty. "It always did in the past. Hell, that's mostly why I did it."
"It might be worth it then. Because I love you, but I don't love how wound up and stressed out you've been lately. But--I don't want to know, and not Jaimie. If it's all four of you, she can be there, but..."
"They play safe, if that's part of what you're worried about. They've never been into the leaving marks stuff either, at least not on me. And it's not Jaimie I want. Anything she could give me, you already do with interest." Ty's doing his best to reassure her.
"My sister's almost due, and she wanted me to come visit for a little while. I'm going to, and when I get back, I want you back to normal, so do whatever you have to do to get there." And that sounds like he's been given permission, which is fucked up as hell.
*********
Dean and Ty have just finished up a brief but intense assignment. Jaimie's gone home already after drinking a couple rounds with them. Ty can sense the vibes that Dean and Carter are putting out. He knows he's going to have to be the one to make the first move here, though. So he steps up to the plate and starts kissing Dean hard, really laying it on him.
Dean goes rigid under his hands before relaxing into the kiss and giving as good as he gets. Ty can feel him getting hard against his body, and the reminder of previous pleasures is turning him on even more.
Dean finally breaks the kiss to ask, "Melissa?"
"Knows. She doesn't like it, doesn't want to know details ever, and doesn't want Jaimie involved, but you guys she can deal with if it means I'm more hers and less whoever I am under."
"Don't worry about the Jaimie thing. We tried it once. We all got off, but we looked at each other afterwards and pretty much came to a mutual decision never to go there again. And...remember Shannon Diaz from a few cases ago?"
"That smoking hot DEA agent who looked a little like Michelle Rodriguez?" Ty's married, but he's not blind. And the combination of professional skills and personal beauty was memorable to say the least.
"Yeah. I saw her and Jaimie meeting up after our last case. I think Jaimie's got a girlfriend--they were being kind of flirty with each other." Dean's looking amused, but there's more than just amusement in his eyes. Ty hopes it's not confusion, because even the thought of spelling out what he needs embarrasses him.
He's fucked Dean a couple of times, but for him, getting fucked usually works better to come back down. Something about the combination of sensations and the power issues inherent in letting someone else into your body that he can't explain just clicks.
Dean and Carter must be picking up on that need, though, because Dean's sliding his hands underneath Ty's shirt and pulling it off as Carter opens his desk drawer and tosses supplies on the end table.
Ty knows from experience Dean can take a lot, but what he actually likes mostly depends on what he's been through lately. And if how he feels right now is any indication, first round is probably going to be fast and hard. Second round--Carter likes to watch sometimes, and he's got a kink for drawing it out when he's topping or going down. Sometimes even when he's jacking one of them off. And once he's got the worst of the need worn off with Dean, that sounds pretty damn good tonight.
When he was still doing this on a fairly regular basis, Ty might have let both of them top. It's been long enough that he's not really up for it tonight, though.
While he's been thinking, Dean's been stripping and Carter's been opening up the sofa bed. Which is probably a good idea, considering they're all here and Ty really doesn't want to end up falling off the couch like he did once with just Dean. It's almost funny thinking about it now, but he definitely didn't enjoy it at the time.
Carter's the one who ends up helping Ty with his jeans. He doesn't really need the help, but it still feels good. Especially since Carter takes the opportunity to tease him a little by unzipping them slowly enough to stroke his already hard cock in the process. He doesn't waste time pulling them off after that, though.
Dean's been watching them--jacking himself off slowly, too. Ty just watches the show for a long moment. He's out of practice reading Dean this way, so he asks, "What do you want?"
Dean smirks at that and tells him, "I want you to fuck me. And I don't want slow and easy--not after this case."
Ty smirks back at him. Carter opens up a condom and hands him the opened packet and the lube. Dean already said he didn't want Ty to take his time, so he doesn't as he's getting Dean ready. He makes sure he's not going to leave Dean really sore, though. Just because he suspects Dean and Carter have been hooking up in his absence doesn't mean they actually have.
He slides in slow after rolling the condom on. Dean's up on his hands and knees, and he tells Ty, "Come on and fuck me, damn it." Ty bites his shoulder for that. He makes sure Dean's usual T-shirt should cover it, though. And then he starts fucking Dean the way he asked for. Dean feels damn good--all tight heat and hard muscle.
Ty's seen Dean come from just getting fucked, but not without a lot more buildup than tonight. He's about to give Dean a reach-around when he sees Carter wrap one hand around Dean's dick and start jacking him off. Carter's still got his pants on, which amuses Ty with the little part of his brain that isn't concentrating on getting off.
He was wound up enough that he doesn't last very long, but he does take long enough that Dean comes before he does. Feeling Dean get even tighter around his dick is what actually kicks Ty over the edge.
Once Ty's with it enough to pull out, Dean collapses onto his side. Carter smiles at Dean before kissing him, thoroughly and with tongue, damn near making out with him. Even after having just come, watching them makes heat coil deep in Ty's body.
Carter's taken advantage of the pause to finally get his pants off. And after he breaks the kiss with Dean, he starts kissing Ty, slow and easy, letting him come down and winding him back up at the same time. Carter doesn't ask how Ty wants this, just eases him over until he's flat on his back.
Dean shoves one of the decorative pillows underneath Ty's hips to prop him up a little. Ty knows he's going to appreciate that later, especially since the way Carter's nibbling down his body slowly means Carter's liable to take his time about the actual fuck, too.
Carter surprises Ty when he goes down on him. Not because he's never done it before, just because he wasn't expecting it now. Carter hasn't lost a damn bit of skill since the last time, and Ty's halfway disappointed when he stops.
Dean's the one who slicks up Carter's fingers. Carter's started out with two fingers before, but Ty's glad he doesn't tonight. Even the first finger in is a little bit of a shock--doesn't exactly hurt, but it's been long enough that he's half-forgotten what having something inside him feels like.
Carter's still got good hands, too. Once Ty's past the initial surprise, Carter takes his sweet time prepping him--long enough that Ty's getting impatient for Carter to actually fuck him. He knows from experience that Carter won't start until he wants to, though, so he doesn't bother asking even if he's far enough gone that spelling it out wouldn't embarrass him any more.
Carter looks over at Dean when Ty's damn near ready to start begging. Dean takes the cue to put a condom on him before he starts. Carter's taking his time about this as well, and Ty mostly just feels good. Carter fucking him burns some, yeah, but not enough to turn him off.
Ty's almost ready to come, even without a hand on his dick, when Carter slows down even more, backing him off from the edge a little. He's definitely going to be feeling this tomorrow, but he doesn't give a shit. Not like he had anything strenuous planned.
Dean's been watching the two of them intently. "Come on, Carter, quit teasing him and let the man come already."
Carter speeds up a little at that, but it still isn't quite enough for Ty to come. The little bit of extra sensation from Dean somehow fitting a hand between the two of them and roughly stroking him is, though. Carter had him so wound up he nearly whites out at the intensity of his orgasm.
Carter's fucking him faster and harder to get himself off now. Ty's appreciating the feeling even though he's already come. He's also appreciating that Carter's not still trying to drag this out--he's out of practice enough that he'd probably be really sore after that. Carter's been pretty quiet so far, but Ty feels an odd sort of accomplishment when he finally does make some noise. He's been with Carter enough times to recognize what Carter sounds like when he comes, and that was definitely an "I got mine" noise. Carter's been propping himself up, but he's lying full-length on Ty now.
Carter's heavy, yeah, but the weight's almost comforting. Enough that Ty doesn't try to get out from under, anyway. He's not sure exactly how long they stay like that before Carter finally pulls out and rolls off.
Once they're untangled, Dean kisses Ty. This one's slow and shallow--definitely not a kiss you'd give your family, but not as involved as either the one that started this or Carter kissing Dean after Ty fucked him. It almost feels like Dean's thanking him for coming back to them.
Carter's the one that Dean really pulls out the stops for, though. Their kiss is so slow and deep that Ty's earlier suspicion they've been together in his absence is confirmed. It's too much like the way he kisses Melissa--obvious caring laced throughout the physical gesture. He's not entirely shocked realizing that for them, this is commitment rather than the stress relief it is for him. He's surprised he's never noticed it before, though--not that it matters in the end. He's in no position to be saying anything about either getting physical with your co-workers or having a serious relationship when you spend half your life being someone else, after all.
Not when he's sore from not having done this in months and damn near bonelessly relaxed. Partly from coming hard twice, and partly because he knows now he can have this again. Because much as he loves Melissa, he needs them too. Maybe he shouldn't, but he does, and he's eternally grateful for her being able to stand him not being entirely hers.
Fin
Author: taylor_serenil
Spoilers: Slight for Guns, Strippers, and Wives.
Summary: Love isn't everything.
Grouping: The rating is for Ty/Dean/Carter, but the relationships are detailed in the notes.
Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All for fun, not for money.
Quick notes/warnings: Infidelity (notice who the rating's for). Angst. Explicit slash. Heavy Ty/Melissa nonexplicit het component. Implied Dean/Carter. Blink-and-you'll-miss-it mention of Dean/Carter/Jaimie. Brief hint of Jaimie/OFC femslash. I am cracked-out on ff.net, so if you see this there, it isn't plagarized. Many thanks to dime_for_12 for her patience through multiple versions of this. As always, her beta services improved this in so many ways that I can't express all of them. An unbetaed, unfinished version of this was previously posted on my journal. This is the betaed version with NC-17 details. Crossposted.
The Difference Between Love and Need
Ty's not happy. He hoped marriage to a woman he loves deeply would keep these demons away. But then, the need riding him right now has nothing to do with love. At least not for him--Dean and Carter, well, those two have always been weird about each other, and Ty wouldn't be surprised at all if they're doing each other for more than just stress relief.
Melissa looks like she's picking up on his mood. Ty's already planning out his defense for the way he's been lately.
"Ty, what is it? You've been acting strange the last few times you've been home. Is there someone else? Some woman you used to be with before me or something?"
Ty just shakes his head. "There's no other woman, babe." And that's true--even seeing Gina hadn't really dented his desire to stay faithful the way thinking about Dean and Carter has been lately.
"Then what is it? Bad case at work? Something you can't even trust your wife with?" Melissa sounds hurt, and Ty knows if he answers her questions honestly that hurt is only going to grow. But at the same time, he doesn't really want to lie to her--doesn't want to start down that slippery slope.
"Don't look at me, okay? I'll tell you, just don't look at me. And when you walk, don't tell anybody why, either."
Melissa draws in a quick breath as she closes her eyes, obviously bracing for the blow.
"I told you there's no other woman. That's true, but it's not the whole truth. Before you--Dean and Carter and me, we had a little stress relief thing going." Ty's never told anyone this. There's never been anyone to tell. He's never quit them for anyone before either--nobody before Melissa was serious enough to bother his conscience about how he chose to wind down.
Melissa's eyes fly open in shock. She looks like she's about ready to slap him, and Ty's going to let her if she does. "And you miss that? Being with them?"
There's pain lacing the anger, and it slices straight through to Ty's soul. Because he does, and he shouldn't. "I told you you were going to walk when you found out."
"How am I supposed to react to finding out my husband has been with two of his male co-workers on what sounds like a semi-regular basis? Were you ever with Jaimie?"
"That one I'm innocent of. Never have been, never wanted to either." And that, at least, is true. "And it was never anything for me but stress relief. I never expected to still want it once I got with you." And that's true too, not that it means much considering that he does want it, want them.
Melissa closes her eyes again without Ty asking her to. He thinks she's trying to shut him out now, and the next words out of her mouth shock him. "If you did, would it help you be the Ty I fell in love with? Would it help you shed that undercover you faster and more completely than you have been lately?"
Honesty deserves honesty. "It always did in the past. Hell, that's mostly why I did it."
"It might be worth it then. Because I love you, but I don't love how wound up and stressed out you've been lately. But--I don't want to know, and not Jaimie. If it's all four of you, she can be there, but..."
"They play safe, if that's part of what you're worried about. They've never been into the leaving marks stuff either, at least not on me. And it's not Jaimie I want. Anything she could give me, you already do with interest." Ty's doing his best to reassure her.
"My sister's almost due, and she wanted me to come visit for a little while. I'm going to, and when I get back, I want you back to normal, so do whatever you have to do to get there." And that sounds like he's been given permission, which is fucked up as hell.
*********
Dean and Ty have just finished up a brief but intense assignment. Jaimie's gone home already after drinking a couple rounds with them. Ty can sense the vibes that Dean and Carter are putting out. He knows he's going to have to be the one to make the first move here, though. So he steps up to the plate and starts kissing Dean hard, really laying it on him.
Dean goes rigid under his hands before relaxing into the kiss and giving as good as he gets. Ty can feel him getting hard against his body, and the reminder of previous pleasures is turning him on even more.
Dean finally breaks the kiss to ask, "Melissa?"
"Knows. She doesn't like it, doesn't want to know details ever, and doesn't want Jaimie involved, but you guys she can deal with if it means I'm more hers and less whoever I am under."
"Don't worry about the Jaimie thing. We tried it once. We all got off, but we looked at each other afterwards and pretty much came to a mutual decision never to go there again. And...remember Shannon Diaz from a few cases ago?"
"That smoking hot DEA agent who looked a little like Michelle Rodriguez?" Ty's married, but he's not blind. And the combination of professional skills and personal beauty was memorable to say the least.
"Yeah. I saw her and Jaimie meeting up after our last case. I think Jaimie's got a girlfriend--they were being kind of flirty with each other." Dean's looking amused, but there's more than just amusement in his eyes. Ty hopes it's not confusion, because even the thought of spelling out what he needs embarrasses him.
He's fucked Dean a couple of times, but for him, getting fucked usually works better to come back down. Something about the combination of sensations and the power issues inherent in letting someone else into your body that he can't explain just clicks.
Dean and Carter must be picking up on that need, though, because Dean's sliding his hands underneath Ty's shirt and pulling it off as Carter opens his desk drawer and tosses supplies on the end table.
Ty knows from experience Dean can take a lot, but what he actually likes mostly depends on what he's been through lately. And if how he feels right now is any indication, first round is probably going to be fast and hard. Second round--Carter likes to watch sometimes, and he's got a kink for drawing it out when he's topping or going down. Sometimes even when he's jacking one of them off. And once he's got the worst of the need worn off with Dean, that sounds pretty damn good tonight.
When he was still doing this on a fairly regular basis, Ty might have let both of them top. It's been long enough that he's not really up for it tonight, though.
While he's been thinking, Dean's been stripping and Carter's been opening up the sofa bed. Which is probably a good idea, considering they're all here and Ty really doesn't want to end up falling off the couch like he did once with just Dean. It's almost funny thinking about it now, but he definitely didn't enjoy it at the time.
Carter's the one who ends up helping Ty with his jeans. He doesn't really need the help, but it still feels good. Especially since Carter takes the opportunity to tease him a little by unzipping them slowly enough to stroke his already hard cock in the process. He doesn't waste time pulling them off after that, though.
Dean's been watching them--jacking himself off slowly, too. Ty just watches the show for a long moment. He's out of practice reading Dean this way, so he asks, "What do you want?"
Dean smirks at that and tells him, "I want you to fuck me. And I don't want slow and easy--not after this case."
Ty smirks back at him. Carter opens up a condom and hands him the opened packet and the lube. Dean already said he didn't want Ty to take his time, so he doesn't as he's getting Dean ready. He makes sure he's not going to leave Dean really sore, though. Just because he suspects Dean and Carter have been hooking up in his absence doesn't mean they actually have.
He slides in slow after rolling the condom on. Dean's up on his hands and knees, and he tells Ty, "Come on and fuck me, damn it." Ty bites his shoulder for that. He makes sure Dean's usual T-shirt should cover it, though. And then he starts fucking Dean the way he asked for. Dean feels damn good--all tight heat and hard muscle.
Ty's seen Dean come from just getting fucked, but not without a lot more buildup than tonight. He's about to give Dean a reach-around when he sees Carter wrap one hand around Dean's dick and start jacking him off. Carter's still got his pants on, which amuses Ty with the little part of his brain that isn't concentrating on getting off.
He was wound up enough that he doesn't last very long, but he does take long enough that Dean comes before he does. Feeling Dean get even tighter around his dick is what actually kicks Ty over the edge.
Once Ty's with it enough to pull out, Dean collapses onto his side. Carter smiles at Dean before kissing him, thoroughly and with tongue, damn near making out with him. Even after having just come, watching them makes heat coil deep in Ty's body.
Carter's taken advantage of the pause to finally get his pants off. And after he breaks the kiss with Dean, he starts kissing Ty, slow and easy, letting him come down and winding him back up at the same time. Carter doesn't ask how Ty wants this, just eases him over until he's flat on his back.
Dean shoves one of the decorative pillows underneath Ty's hips to prop him up a little. Ty knows he's going to appreciate that later, especially since the way Carter's nibbling down his body slowly means Carter's liable to take his time about the actual fuck, too.
Carter surprises Ty when he goes down on him. Not because he's never done it before, just because he wasn't expecting it now. Carter hasn't lost a damn bit of skill since the last time, and Ty's halfway disappointed when he stops.
Dean's the one who slicks up Carter's fingers. Carter's started out with two fingers before, but Ty's glad he doesn't tonight. Even the first finger in is a little bit of a shock--doesn't exactly hurt, but it's been long enough that he's half-forgotten what having something inside him feels like.
Carter's still got good hands, too. Once Ty's past the initial surprise, Carter takes his sweet time prepping him--long enough that Ty's getting impatient for Carter to actually fuck him. He knows from experience that Carter won't start until he wants to, though, so he doesn't bother asking even if he's far enough gone that spelling it out wouldn't embarrass him any more.
Carter looks over at Dean when Ty's damn near ready to start begging. Dean takes the cue to put a condom on him before he starts. Carter's taking his time about this as well, and Ty mostly just feels good. Carter fucking him burns some, yeah, but not enough to turn him off.
Ty's almost ready to come, even without a hand on his dick, when Carter slows down even more, backing him off from the edge a little. He's definitely going to be feeling this tomorrow, but he doesn't give a shit. Not like he had anything strenuous planned.
Dean's been watching the two of them intently. "Come on, Carter, quit teasing him and let the man come already."
Carter speeds up a little at that, but it still isn't quite enough for Ty to come. The little bit of extra sensation from Dean somehow fitting a hand between the two of them and roughly stroking him is, though. Carter had him so wound up he nearly whites out at the intensity of his orgasm.
Carter's fucking him faster and harder to get himself off now. Ty's appreciating the feeling even though he's already come. He's also appreciating that Carter's not still trying to drag this out--he's out of practice enough that he'd probably be really sore after that. Carter's been pretty quiet so far, but Ty feels an odd sort of accomplishment when he finally does make some noise. He's been with Carter enough times to recognize what Carter sounds like when he comes, and that was definitely an "I got mine" noise. Carter's been propping himself up, but he's lying full-length on Ty now.
Carter's heavy, yeah, but the weight's almost comforting. Enough that Ty doesn't try to get out from under, anyway. He's not sure exactly how long they stay like that before Carter finally pulls out and rolls off.
Once they're untangled, Dean kisses Ty. This one's slow and shallow--definitely not a kiss you'd give your family, but not as involved as either the one that started this or Carter kissing Dean after Ty fucked him. It almost feels like Dean's thanking him for coming back to them.
Carter's the one that Dean really pulls out the stops for, though. Their kiss is so slow and deep that Ty's earlier suspicion they've been together in his absence is confirmed. It's too much like the way he kisses Melissa--obvious caring laced throughout the physical gesture. He's not entirely shocked realizing that for them, this is commitment rather than the stress relief it is for him. He's surprised he's never noticed it before, though--not that it matters in the end. He's in no position to be saying anything about either getting physical with your co-workers or having a serious relationship when you spend half your life being someone else, after all.
Not when he's sore from not having done this in months and damn near bonelessly relaxed. Partly from coming hard twice, and partly because he knows now he can have this again. Because much as he loves Melissa, he needs them too. Maybe he shouldn't, but he does, and he's eternally grateful for her being able to stand him not being entirely hers.
Fin