[ voice ] i know there's better brothers but you're the only one that's mine

[allthefunever]

[ the tablet turns on to the sound of a hose.

...okay, a hose and bitching. stefan's voice is the first one heard. ]

It's in your hair, Damon.

[ damon sounds utterly unconcerned. ]

Fratellino, there are things in your hair right now I couldn't even name with an anatomy textbook open in front of me. Well, you shouldn't have slept through biology

Comments

i know there's better brothers, but you're the only one that's mine;

[allthefunever]

[ later, when stefan finds out-- and damon holds no illusions he won't-- damon will smirk and claim he just thought this was something the happy couple should deal with on their own, dialing up the implication that he wanted elena to blindside stefan.

the truth is, he's enjoying this time too much to let stefan spoil it with running off to indulge his guilt and beg elena's pardon. it's like they're young men again, before katherine came and turned their rivalry to bitterness. he can't admit that even to himself, though. ]

Don't get your eye in the way of my elbow and I might be able to refrain. And biting is for little girls, Stef.

i know there's better brothers, but you're the only one that's mine;

[allthefunever]

[ damon grins back, rolling his eyes and brushing grass off his bare shoulder with exaggerated care. ]

I wasn't the one who brought up biting. But if we're adding that to the fair game list...

[ it says something that damon doesn't use vampire speed or strength to tackle stefan again; just the bulk afforded to him by nature. ]

i know there's better brothers, but you're the only one that's mine;

[allthefunever]

[ zach was a buzzkill, and now he's a dead buzzkill. problem solved! (sob.) ]

I can give you a list, if you wanted. Itemized.

[ and now he's going to do his level best to literally grind stefan's face into the muddle puddle they've created, excuse him for a second. ]

i know there's better brothers, but you're the only one that's mine;

[allthefunever]

[ zach was lame, okay. ]

Don't be a-- oof-- prude, little brother. The act of cun--

[ true facts about vampires: a knee to the stomach knocks the wind out of them just like any human, even if just for a moment. ]

Ow.

[ EXTRA FACE GRINDING FOR YOU, STEFAN. ]