you don't have to say what you did i already know

[justbeenspotted]

You better watch out, you better think twice, Gossip Girl knows who's been naughty or-- well, not like nice ever made headlines. So let's concentrate on naughty, shall we? I have to say, when I arrived I was disheartened to find so many of my familiar faces missing. But I can put away the tissues and my fainting couch, because you've risen to the

Comments

[visual]

[suckmychest]

Eric is reading this. And at first, he was chuckling pretty nicely. But then. He came to the eighth paragraph. And just.

"........What." He's trying to figure out what to be pissed off more about. But between the nickname, and the Bert and Ernie, and. Well, everything else.

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

Be still my heart! Ikea himself. Shame about the epic gay love affair, you had such potential.

[visual]

[suckmychest]

"...What did you just call me." He didn't understand where that nickname came from at all. Eric isn't ignorant of Ikea's existence, but why the hell call him that. If it hadn't been for the Nordic bit, and the bit about 'tattooed jailbait'...

"And just who are you."

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

I had such high hopes. Ikea.

Honestly, I thought the reading level might be higher. I'm Gossip Girl.

[visual]

[suckmychest]

He's gritting his teeth. It's probably a good thing the tablets are indestructible because the way he's gripping it would splinter lesser materials. "I am more than literate. Why Ikea." He's practically spitting the words out.

"No. That's what you are. Much like what you are is a soon to be mangled idiot of a human. However. I asked who."

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

I'm not Google, Ikea. Make yourself useful, look it up.

Impotent rage is a good look on you. Really brings out your eyes. And as the blog says: that's the one secret I'll never tell.

[visual]

[suckmychest]

Eric knows what Ikea is, GG. He's been playing the stock market for some time, and he most certainly doesn't appreciate being treated like... Like some human. He's so angry, his fangs have begun to slide out.

"No search engine would detail the small cogs working in your moronic semblance of a mind." Impotent? Not in any sense of the word. But rage? Definitely, and it is flashing in his eyes. "Cowardly bitch."

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

Careful, Ikea. With me? You're biting off more than you can chew~.

I'd go ask your snugglebunny for a massage; he looks like he'd have the patchouli and the time. Happy ending are up to you crazy kids.

[visual]

[suckmychest]

"Please. I don't eat vermin." He sneers at her audacity. At this point, Eric would take a stale Red Stuff before deigning to feed on whoever the hell this is.

And he just bristles at the implications - not even the ones about himself, but about Godric. "Don't you dare talk about him."

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

Neither do I. We're already learning more about each other. Well. I already know about you.

There's a certain subset who enjoy the dirty hippie thing. Relax and enjoy, Ikea.

[visual]

[suckmychest]

"I just need to learn one thing about you," he growls out. And that would be one thing too many. "Where. Are. You."

Even if she tells him now that Gossip Girl is a machine, Eric won't believe it. He'll just keep after these texts.

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

I don't put out on the first date, Ikea. My mother taught me better than that. But I appreciate the fervor.

[visual]

[suckmychest]

"Stop. Calling me that." The fangs are out entirely now, though they don't impede his speech much. "And if your misbegotten whore of a mother taught you any manners, I doubt we'd be having this conversation."

[text]

[justbeenspotted]

Touchy touchy, Ikea. Watch out, if you keep your face like that it'll get stuck that way~

[visual]

[suckmychest]

"Your concern is heartwarming, but misplaced." Eric is totally using the mapping functions of the tablet, trying to pinpoint GG's location.