ten words meme
I got bit by a meme - it was bound to happen, sooner or later. They're contagious. *g*
If you'd like to take part, comment here and I'll pick out a letter for you. You then post in *your* LJ ten words beginning with that letter, and what each one means to you - and then you give out letters to people who request them.
Cut for length and comfort - read at your own risk. I wouldn't say it's unsafe to read, but it was rather... sharp to write.
Why?
One of my all-time favorite words. I've always been curious, if at times too much so. It's helped me so much with my writing - every time I want to do something, I repeat it over and over. The most important of the "5 W's" (although "who" is a close second) - getting right to the heart of the character's motivations and reasoning. *Why* are you doing that? *Why* do you believe him? *Why* don't you leave? Of course, I tend to get nippy when it's turned back on me - either by my characters or my friends. Or my family, but this is a meme, not a rant.
Words
OK, this seems like a cheat, and maybe it is. But I write, and words are my tools, my toys, my happiness, and my bane. I thought about using "writer", but didn't for two reasons. One, it's the words that are important, not the writer, especially when most of the time I swear I am *not* doing this, I'm just frantically getting it all down - less like writing and more like dictation. Two, I don't use the word "writer" very often. Part of the time I think I don't deserve it (I'm not published); the rest of the time I'm *afraid* to use it - if you have to call yourself a writer, you aren't, or something. My mind is not a logical place.
And I *love* words, the sounds, the meanings, the things you can do with them. I was a poet before I started writing stories, so that love of playing with words has never quite left. Even if I haven't written poetry in years.
White Wolf
Does that count as two words? *g*
Ah, gaming. My first game was White Wolf (Vampire, I think - the two games started at almost the same time, but I'm pretty sure the vamps came first). It was so much fun. I broke almost every newbie rule in the book, but somehow they still let me play. Of which I am very, very grateful - in addition to being great fun, gaming has helped my writing immensely. I learned about characterization from gaming (see "why" above) - Why did your character do that? Why won't they follow the plot?
Especially the last one - I was playing "stump the Storyteller/GM" before I knew it was a game. One of the best rules I've ever played with is from Ibliss. "You/your character can do whatever they want, as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences." This is how we get a Tremere elder with one dot in Manipulation at over 800 years old, and a Sabbat pack on local televison. If you're curious about either, feel free to ask.
Water
Not my primary element, but a good second. I've always loved water, even if I'd rather drink soda. (Caffeine junkie!) Especially swimming. Not that I'm good at it, but I love swimming - or what I call swimming, which is a mix of floating and wiggling around. Water is an enabler - but in a positive sense. It's easier to move around in the water, especially for those of us "blessed with size". But pools only - not the ocean, and not really ponds, although streams are good to dangle feet in. There are too many *living* things in natural water for me to relax and enjoy it. Not to get *too* TMI, but water is also a very positive environment for me, physically. Sirens and ships, after all. *g*
Weight
As you can tell from the above word, I'm fat. No, I'm not "full-figured" or "big-boned" (although I will accept "Rubensque" on a good day). Weight has always been a major issue for me. I've tried the diet thing, and it only ends up making me more miserable (as well as an abuser of alliteration). Could I stand to lose some of it? Of course. Will I? In all likelihood, no. This is who I am. I like food and it shows.
And it's a constant struggle. Some days I'm fine, others I sit in front of a mirror and repeat "I look like shit" in varying voices. Sometimes it's a joke, other times it's serious. I'm very lucky to have found some very good people in my life who care about me for who I am, not what I look like, which helps, but let's face it - any adult female over a size 10 (or is it worse now?) is going to get hassled over their weight in this culture. It sucks, but it's true.
Oh, and one last parting shot at popular culture - I have big breasts, and I got them the natural way: by proportion. Very, very few size 10's have I-cups without intervention, and with good reason - they'd *fall over*. Put *that* in your porn. *g*
Wine
I so want to like wine. It sounds so mature and elegant, knowing the right color and type to go along with a fancy meal out. But I cannot stand the taste of almost all kinds of alcohol - wine coolers I can handle, one or two brands, when I'm in the right mood. That mood only strikes about 2-3 times a year, max.
Ibliss and I had a lovely anniversary, which came with wine & cheese and a lovely lake to watch. We ate the cheese, and tried so hard to drink the wine, making horrible faces the whole time. ("This is awful - here, you try.")
The worst part, other than the disappointment, is dealing with people who take not drinking as a personal affront. "No, thank you" is a statement, not a challenge. I do not ask people not to drink around me (although I am very uncomfortable around large amounts of alcohol and/or drunks, another cog in the works), so why in the names of the most holy do they insist I drink? You'd think they'd *encourage* me to drink soda, thereby leaving more alcohol for them. Meh.
Waiting
I am horrible at waiting. I have no patience. I jump in the middle of conversations, I tap my feet in lines, I bring books wherever I go, I stare at clocks and calendars and stoves compulsively. And those are only the ones I can think of at the moment.
Maybe it goes back to being the only child surrounded by adults - I could not *wait* to be a grown-up like everyone else and finally be an equal. Of course, that will never happen, not completely, but again - this is not a family rant.
I'd like to think I've made great strides in *learning* patience, but it's an uphill struggle. Hang in there, everyone! Feel free to use rolled-up newspapers and Koosh balls - it helps.
Winter
My favorite season. I love cold weather. I love snow.
Cold is great because you can always put on more clothes, more blankets, turn up the heater, snuggle close to someone, etc. In summer, once you're down to the skin, there's nothing left to take off. (Although with the heat down here, I've been tempted to try more than once...)
And snow! I can watch snow fall for hours. I still remember the trick to watching snow at night - street or house lights, head titled just a touch to see white against the dark. And it's not just the sight, it's the sound. There is an unmistakeable *sound* to snowfall, like hearing silence, but not. We had a porch up north, and every winter I'd try to catch as many snowfalls as I could.
Ibliss calls me "Nordic kitty". :)
Whisper
Another one with strong negative vibes for me. My hearing isn't too good, sometimes. Not being able to make out what some is saying is frustrating. And as a child, I tended to be loud, so being quiet doesn't come naturally to me. So I would swing back and forth beween being too loud or too quiet, and managing to do either at the wrong time.
Worse is when you're not supposed to hear. School left me with a hatred of whispering - especially when you can tell it's about you by when it stops and starts. It's almost to the point of paranoia; if I see a group of people near me that's whispering, my first instinct is that they're talking about me, followed closely by the assumption that whatever they're saying, it's not good.
Yes, I do know this is irrational, and it's something I'm aware of, but I doubt it will change much anytime soon. It gets validated too much to go away completely.
Wind
My element. It took me a while to think of this one, because I normally refer to this element as air, not wind. But whatever the name, it's my main connection. I love air/wind/breezes so much I could say "very" a hundred times and only scratch the surface.
It's related to the fact or the reason why I can't ground, not normally. Don't get me wrong, earth is cool, but it's just not me. Instead, I "air" - connect to the air around me, using it for energy and, odd as it sounds, as an anchor. There's always wind around, so it's always there. I can't quite explain how it works.
Occasionally it can be problematic, especially in storms. I try to carry scrunchies with me at all times, and have become resigned to knots. They're a tiny price to pay for all of the neat things that go along with air/wind.
So there you are - ten words with W. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to what words other people will choose.
If you'd like to take part, comment here and I'll pick out a letter for you. You then post in *your* LJ ten words beginning with that letter, and what each one means to you - and then you give out letters to people who request them.
Cut for length and comfort - read at your own risk. I wouldn't say it's unsafe to read, but it was rather... sharp to write.
Why?
One of my all-time favorite words. I've always been curious, if at times too much so. It's helped me so much with my writing - every time I want to do something, I repeat it over and over. The most important of the "5 W's" (although "who" is a close second) - getting right to the heart of the character's motivations and reasoning. *Why* are you doing that? *Why* do you believe him? *Why* don't you leave? Of course, I tend to get nippy when it's turned back on me - either by my characters or my friends. Or my family, but this is a meme, not a rant.
Words
OK, this seems like a cheat, and maybe it is. But I write, and words are my tools, my toys, my happiness, and my bane. I thought about using "writer", but didn't for two reasons. One, it's the words that are important, not the writer, especially when most of the time I swear I am *not* doing this, I'm just frantically getting it all down - less like writing and more like dictation. Two, I don't use the word "writer" very often. Part of the time I think I don't deserve it (I'm not published); the rest of the time I'm *afraid* to use it - if you have to call yourself a writer, you aren't, or something. My mind is not a logical place.
And I *love* words, the sounds, the meanings, the things you can do with them. I was a poet before I started writing stories, so that love of playing with words has never quite left. Even if I haven't written poetry in years.
White Wolf
Does that count as two words? *g*
Ah, gaming. My first game was White Wolf (Vampire, I think - the two games started at almost the same time, but I'm pretty sure the vamps came first). It was so much fun. I broke almost every newbie rule in the book, but somehow they still let me play. Of which I am very, very grateful - in addition to being great fun, gaming has helped my writing immensely. I learned about characterization from gaming (see "why" above) - Why did your character do that? Why won't they follow the plot?
Especially the last one - I was playing "stump the Storyteller/GM" before I knew it was a game. One of the best rules I've ever played with is from Ibliss. "You/your character can do whatever they want, as long as you're willing to deal with the consequences." This is how we get a Tremere elder with one dot in Manipulation at over 800 years old, and a Sabbat pack on local televison. If you're curious about either, feel free to ask.
Water
Not my primary element, but a good second. I've always loved water, even if I'd rather drink soda. (Caffeine junkie!) Especially swimming. Not that I'm good at it, but I love swimming - or what I call swimming, which is a mix of floating and wiggling around. Water is an enabler - but in a positive sense. It's easier to move around in the water, especially for those of us "blessed with size". But pools only - not the ocean, and not really ponds, although streams are good to dangle feet in. There are too many *living* things in natural water for me to relax and enjoy it. Not to get *too* TMI, but water is also a very positive environment for me, physically. Sirens and ships, after all. *g*
Weight
As you can tell from the above word, I'm fat. No, I'm not "full-figured" or "big-boned" (although I will accept "Rubensque" on a good day). Weight has always been a major issue for me. I've tried the diet thing, and it only ends up making me more miserable (as well as an abuser of alliteration). Could I stand to lose some of it? Of course. Will I? In all likelihood, no. This is who I am. I like food and it shows.
And it's a constant struggle. Some days I'm fine, others I sit in front of a mirror and repeat "I look like shit" in varying voices. Sometimes it's a joke, other times it's serious. I'm very lucky to have found some very good people in my life who care about me for who I am, not what I look like, which helps, but let's face it - any adult female over a size 10 (or is it worse now?) is going to get hassled over their weight in this culture. It sucks, but it's true.
Oh, and one last parting shot at popular culture - I have big breasts, and I got them the natural way: by proportion. Very, very few size 10's have I-cups without intervention, and with good reason - they'd *fall over*. Put *that* in your porn. *g*
Wine
I so want to like wine. It sounds so mature and elegant, knowing the right color and type to go along with a fancy meal out. But I cannot stand the taste of almost all kinds of alcohol - wine coolers I can handle, one or two brands, when I'm in the right mood. That mood only strikes about 2-3 times a year, max.
Ibliss and I had a lovely anniversary, which came with wine & cheese and a lovely lake to watch. We ate the cheese, and tried so hard to drink the wine, making horrible faces the whole time. ("This is awful - here, you try.")
The worst part, other than the disappointment, is dealing with people who take not drinking as a personal affront. "No, thank you" is a statement, not a challenge. I do not ask people not to drink around me (although I am very uncomfortable around large amounts of alcohol and/or drunks, another cog in the works), so why in the names of the most holy do they insist I drink? You'd think they'd *encourage* me to drink soda, thereby leaving more alcohol for them. Meh.
Waiting
I am horrible at waiting. I have no patience. I jump in the middle of conversations, I tap my feet in lines, I bring books wherever I go, I stare at clocks and calendars and stoves compulsively. And those are only the ones I can think of at the moment.
Maybe it goes back to being the only child surrounded by adults - I could not *wait* to be a grown-up like everyone else and finally be an equal. Of course, that will never happen, not completely, but again - this is not a family rant.
I'd like to think I've made great strides in *learning* patience, but it's an uphill struggle. Hang in there, everyone! Feel free to use rolled-up newspapers and Koosh balls - it helps.
Winter
My favorite season. I love cold weather. I love snow.
Cold is great because you can always put on more clothes, more blankets, turn up the heater, snuggle close to someone, etc. In summer, once you're down to the skin, there's nothing left to take off. (Although with the heat down here, I've been tempted to try more than once...)
And snow! I can watch snow fall for hours. I still remember the trick to watching snow at night - street or house lights, head titled just a touch to see white against the dark. And it's not just the sight, it's the sound. There is an unmistakeable *sound* to snowfall, like hearing silence, but not. We had a porch up north, and every winter I'd try to catch as many snowfalls as I could.
Ibliss calls me "Nordic kitty". :)
Whisper
Another one with strong negative vibes for me. My hearing isn't too good, sometimes. Not being able to make out what some is saying is frustrating. And as a child, I tended to be loud, so being quiet doesn't come naturally to me. So I would swing back and forth beween being too loud or too quiet, and managing to do either at the wrong time.
Worse is when you're not supposed to hear. School left me with a hatred of whispering - especially when you can tell it's about you by when it stops and starts. It's almost to the point of paranoia; if I see a group of people near me that's whispering, my first instinct is that they're talking about me, followed closely by the assumption that whatever they're saying, it's not good.
Yes, I do know this is irrational, and it's something I'm aware of, but I doubt it will change much anytime soon. It gets validated too much to go away completely.
Wind
My element. It took me a while to think of this one, because I normally refer to this element as air, not wind. But whatever the name, it's my main connection. I love air/wind/breezes so much I could say "very" a hundred times and only scratch the surface.
It's related to the fact or the reason why I can't ground, not normally. Don't get me wrong, earth is cool, but it's just not me. Instead, I "air" - connect to the air around me, using it for energy and, odd as it sounds, as an anchor. There's always wind around, so it's always there. I can't quite explain how it works.
Occasionally it can be problematic, especially in storms. I try to carry scrunchies with me at all times, and have become resigned to knots. They're a tiny price to pay for all of the neat things that go along with air/wind.
So there you are - ten words with W. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to what words other people will choose.