Flashback
Heh, I was going through my computer and cleaning out miscellaneous documents and found my half-assed attempt at a journl on my laptop. It only had one entry from last August and is as follows:
August 25, 2005
Wow. I’ve now a very intimate knowledge of the phrase “ignorance is bliss.” Travis actually came out to work last night and we talked for about two hours. I asked him if he’d had sex with anyone else other than me. I expected his current girlfriend of course, that didn’t really bother me. Then he said my friend Nicki. That might not have bothered me either had it not been in one of our “off again” times…meaning there was an “on again” afterwards…and he never told me. It wasn’t just her either. There was also Michelle and now Danny. Six months, four chicks.
It’s hard to describe how I felt when he told me that. A combination of naïve, used and…somewhat like a gateway drug. It shouldn’t really surprise me, he always talked about sex and stuff like that but…I guess I thought it meant more to him than that. I believe the term I repeatedly called him last night was a “fucking guy.”
Between him and Brandon, I think I’m really beginning to give up on the male gender. It’s all nice in chick flicks when that “perfect guy” comes into the girl’s life but I’m starting to realize that kind of thing doesn’t happen in the real world.
Gah, this whole thing makes me feel cold and detached. I want to feel something. God, I hope Shag wants to do the tattoo tonight, I’m almost aching for the feel of the needle, as masochistic as that sounds.
God, now I’m gonna get fucking written out of his whole fucking book. Even after all that crap he told me, I still wanted to try to hang out and be friends so we were supposed to do something today before the appointment with Shag. Now he just called me. Apparently he asked his girlfriend if it would be OK for him to hang out with me and she hung up on him. Then she sent him a text message saying that she would be there at the time I was supposed to hang out with him so they could “talk about their future.” Which translates into “talk about your ex and how I don’t want you near her.”
God, it’s almost one o’clock. I still have five and a half hours before I hook up with Maimi and go see Shag about our tattoos. Damn.
********************************************
My, how I've grown. Sounds awful dramatic at a few points, doesn't it? Huh...OK, that's all I got for right now.
August 25, 2005
Wow. I’ve now a very intimate knowledge of the phrase “ignorance is bliss.” Travis actually came out to work last night and we talked for about two hours. I asked him if he’d had sex with anyone else other than me. I expected his current girlfriend of course, that didn’t really bother me. Then he said my friend Nicki. That might not have bothered me either had it not been in one of our “off again” times…meaning there was an “on again” afterwards…and he never told me. It wasn’t just her either. There was also Michelle and now Danny. Six months, four chicks.
It’s hard to describe how I felt when he told me that. A combination of naïve, used and…somewhat like a gateway drug. It shouldn’t really surprise me, he always talked about sex and stuff like that but…I guess I thought it meant more to him than that. I believe the term I repeatedly called him last night was a “fucking guy.”
Between him and Brandon, I think I’m really beginning to give up on the male gender. It’s all nice in chick flicks when that “perfect guy” comes into the girl’s life but I’m starting to realize that kind of thing doesn’t happen in the real world.
Gah, this whole thing makes me feel cold and detached. I want to feel something. God, I hope Shag wants to do the tattoo tonight, I’m almost aching for the feel of the needle, as masochistic as that sounds.
God, now I’m gonna get fucking written out of his whole fucking book. Even after all that crap he told me, I still wanted to try to hang out and be friends so we were supposed to do something today before the appointment with Shag. Now he just called me. Apparently he asked his girlfriend if it would be OK for him to hang out with me and she hung up on him. Then she sent him a text message saying that she would be there at the time I was supposed to hang out with him so they could “talk about their future.” Which translates into “talk about your ex and how I don’t want you near her.”
God, it’s almost one o’clock. I still have five and a half hours before I hook up with Maimi and go see Shag about our tattoos. Damn.
********************************************
My, how I've grown. Sounds awful dramatic at a few points, doesn't it? Huh...OK, that's all I got for right now.