what a day, and it's only the third
Once again I was kept awake all night because of a combination of a horny cricket and an annoying cat that never sleeps. After about six hours of trying to sleep through it, I went homicidal with an exacto knife and brutally butchered the cricket by stabbing it several times through the back with said exacto.
Before you animal rights activists bitch about the UNECESSARY DEATH of the mantis' food, I have a good story for you.
I fucking hate crickets. But anyways, the cat however I could not brutally butcher through the spinal cord with an exacto, continued to make all manners of godawful sounds including smacking the keyboard off the desk.
It's about six thirty in the morning. And I just get up.
Resigning myself to another sleepless night, I put on a movie that I previously rented. Working on very little to no sleep at all something innocent that Azzy did really pissed me off. So I decided to be an unholy asshole and say some things that I really shouldn't have. Realizing my mistake and err in judgment, I decided to rectify the problem by removing myself from it.
So I went on a walk, dear Azzybat came with me. We walked through the park after getting coffee and tea, my snake coiled around my forearm like she always is when I go anywhere, we had a nice morning in the park and then I came across a key. I seem to have a real talent lately for coming across lost keys as this isn't the first in the last short while.
I know this must sound boring as all fuck so far, but promise you it gets more dramatastic.
Like all my posts.
Dramallamas. Hehe.
We came back to the Village and I decided to get the cat some food, so it'll live longer, thereby enabling it to keep me awake longer. So we did. We walked to the Shopper's Drug mart and bought some cat food and as usual nobody had the slightest problem with my beautiful Shiori, my snake.
After hemmhorraging an incredibly atrocious amount of money on another ungrateful mouth, I decided to hemmhorrage money on my own ungrateful mouth. This being where the problems began.
I went out and across to the Safeway to pick up some charred avian flesh. Again, thus far noone had a problem with my Shiori. She's so beautiful. Anyhow, I went to the till to pay for my purchases and then go away and come again, when it came my turn to pay, the till bitch FLIPPED.
She went stark raving mad and ran away ranting on about some Christian apocalyptic bullshit on my arm and refused to sell me my purchase. I, very much cowed at this, as she's never caused anyone any harm, let Azzy purchase my stuff for me and headed out to wait, very non-confrontationally after having a brief word with one of the employees, expressing my apologies.
As I understand after I left, poor Azzy, having dropped off a resumee there the same day, got chewed out by one of the managers. I felt terrible for it, as opinions where expressed in the direction of poor Azzy not getting the job he wanted because of my actions.
In addition to myself being chewed out by another customer outside, as if I didn't feel bad enough already. She bitched about Azzy defending me and the snake's gentle nature as well, saying it was plain Azzy 'didn't give a shit about anyone.'
After apologizing to the staff, the customer, and Azzy most of all, I began to salvage my losses and mistakes and return home with my beautiful misunderstood snake.
Less than forty feet away from the building itself, I thought the day couldn't get any more complicated. Forty five steps away from the building, the day became more complicated.
"Hey, look, it's hurt!" I said, pointing towards a spastically flailing pigeon, who seemed quite perturbed by it all whatever it is. Azzy attempted to pick up the poor thing, and obviously fucked off it's poor little rocker it flew around half assedly before crashing on its face behind a dumpster.
Now his and my 'OMG ANIMAL MUST SAVE!!!!' attitude kicked in and I handed over the pretty snake to Azzy and picked up the pigeon.
I then ran home like a prancing faerie with the pigeon, getting all sorts of odd looks from people on the sidewalk as I bolted home.
Ahhh, home, sweet home. Where the Jasper cat does roam.
After fumbling a pair of keys and a flailing bird, I managed to get in the door where the cat wasted no time in trying to climb my leg to get the pigeon.
I booted him off hastily and nudged him into the bathroom, where he sat crying and scratching at the door for near forty minutes without taking a breath.
The bird then proceeded to spastically flail and shit several times on the bed whilst I was trying to reassemble the ferret cage.
Yup. One hell of a day.
So now we've got a wild ass pigeon in the ferret cage, and Jasper's surprisingly being pretty good about it all.
I only need to spritz him once every thirty seconds to keep him the fuck at bay.
Azzy's mantid shed as well, on an unrelated note.
But about this pigeon, we've decided we're going to look after it for the next few days to ascertain whether or not its condition will improve or worsen.
If it worsens, we have no choice but to hand it over but that's my last resort as I KNOW they'll just put him down.
God I hate crickets.
Before you animal rights activists bitch about the UNECESSARY DEATH of the mantis' food, I have a good story for you.
I fucking hate crickets. But anyways, the cat however I could not brutally butcher through the spinal cord with an exacto, continued to make all manners of godawful sounds including smacking the keyboard off the desk.
It's about six thirty in the morning. And I just get up.
Resigning myself to another sleepless night, I put on a movie that I previously rented. Working on very little to no sleep at all something innocent that Azzy did really pissed me off. So I decided to be an unholy asshole and say some things that I really shouldn't have. Realizing my mistake and err in judgment, I decided to rectify the problem by removing myself from it.
So I went on a walk, dear Azzybat came with me. We walked through the park after getting coffee and tea, my snake coiled around my forearm like she always is when I go anywhere, we had a nice morning in the park and then I came across a key. I seem to have a real talent lately for coming across lost keys as this isn't the first in the last short while.
I know this must sound boring as all fuck so far, but promise you it gets more dramatastic.
Like all my posts.
Dramallamas. Hehe.
We came back to the Village and I decided to get the cat some food, so it'll live longer, thereby enabling it to keep me awake longer. So we did. We walked to the Shopper's Drug mart and bought some cat food and as usual nobody had the slightest problem with my beautiful Shiori, my snake.
After hemmhorraging an incredibly atrocious amount of money on another ungrateful mouth, I decided to hemmhorrage money on my own ungrateful mouth. This being where the problems began.
I went out and across to the Safeway to pick up some charred avian flesh. Again, thus far noone had a problem with my Shiori. She's so beautiful. Anyhow, I went to the till to pay for my purchases and then go away and come again, when it came my turn to pay, the till bitch FLIPPED.
She went stark raving mad and ran away ranting on about some Christian apocalyptic bullshit on my arm and refused to sell me my purchase. I, very much cowed at this, as she's never caused anyone any harm, let Azzy purchase my stuff for me and headed out to wait, very non-confrontationally after having a brief word with one of the employees, expressing my apologies.
As I understand after I left, poor Azzy, having dropped off a resumee there the same day, got chewed out by one of the managers. I felt terrible for it, as opinions where expressed in the direction of poor Azzy not getting the job he wanted because of my actions.
In addition to myself being chewed out by another customer outside, as if I didn't feel bad enough already. She bitched about Azzy defending me and the snake's gentle nature as well, saying it was plain Azzy 'didn't give a shit about anyone.'
After apologizing to the staff, the customer, and Azzy most of all, I began to salvage my losses and mistakes and return home with my beautiful misunderstood snake.
Less than forty feet away from the building itself, I thought the day couldn't get any more complicated. Forty five steps away from the building, the day became more complicated.
"Hey, look, it's hurt!" I said, pointing towards a spastically flailing pigeon, who seemed quite perturbed by it all whatever it is. Azzy attempted to pick up the poor thing, and obviously fucked off it's poor little rocker it flew around half assedly before crashing on its face behind a dumpster.
Now his and my 'OMG ANIMAL MUST SAVE!!!!' attitude kicked in and I handed over the pretty snake to Azzy and picked up the pigeon.
I then ran home like a prancing faerie with the pigeon, getting all sorts of odd looks from people on the sidewalk as I bolted home.
Ahhh, home, sweet home. Where the Jasper cat does roam.
After fumbling a pair of keys and a flailing bird, I managed to get in the door where the cat wasted no time in trying to climb my leg to get the pigeon.
I booted him off hastily and nudged him into the bathroom, where he sat crying and scratching at the door for near forty minutes without taking a breath.
The bird then proceeded to spastically flail and shit several times on the bed whilst I was trying to reassemble the ferret cage.
Yup. One hell of a day.
So now we've got a wild ass pigeon in the ferret cage, and Jasper's surprisingly being pretty good about it all.
I only need to spritz him once every thirty seconds to keep him the fuck at bay.
Azzy's mantid shed as well, on an unrelated note.
But about this pigeon, we've decided we're going to look after it for the next few days to ascertain whether or not its condition will improve or worsen.
If it worsens, we have no choice but to hand it over but that's my last resort as I KNOW they'll just put him down.
God I hate crickets.