(no subject)
Last night shevonne and brendan were talking to me on the phone and shevonne was complaining that brendan wouldnt have sex with her. She was drunk and she was going
"ive tried to crack onto brendan and he doesnt want me!"
and im going "yes he does! of course he wants u.." but then it dawned on me - he wants shevonne. he wants shevonne and she turns him on and he comes to me cos im easier to get too and shevonne hasnt wanted him in a sex kind of way before. So i get on the phone to him and i say to him "you want her dont u?" and hes gone "yes i want her, of course i want her.." and ive gone "and you have only come to me for sex cos she turns you on and im easier to get to right?" and hes gone "yeah...but ur nice too!" and that is when i stopped and felt completely and utterly used. NOT that i didnt know i was being used - he was only using me for sex and i was only using him for sex - but the thought of being used and not REALLY wanted is kind of bad for the confidence.
in other news, im getting an ipod tomorrow for christmas and im very very excited. and i made shortbread today with my little brother. it was so fun. hes 18, but he made shortbread wit me anyway. I made one shaped like a dick hahaha
now i am drinking my 3rd cup of coffee and feeling fat and useless and used. go me.