(no subject)
Stupid Honor's English.....I still got a hundred and 50 freakin pages to read and I've been reading since like 12:30 GAH! For one their are too many characters and I have absolutely no clue whose who let alone what's really going on...So I'm going to finish reading this stupid book and then I'm going to go to footnotes.com or something so that I understand the book and then I am going to write the booknotes tommorrow and Thursday as I begin reading the other book...oh joy! Why in the world do we got to do book notes a "specific" way honestly..I have no problem with writing them or writing the paper but the fact that their are "guidelines" confuses the crap out of me! Why do I have to be smart honestly....I put so much stupid pressure on myself...pressure that isn't needed. I wish they had a debate class...or even a debate team at our school though...I talked to buckheim (sp?) about it last year and he said if the levy passes that he'll see about starting up a debate team so hopefully the levy passes, for more then just that reason... *fingers crossed* It seems like the older I get the more I want to do with my life but it's like it's all a blur and a cloudy vision that is going to take alot of work to make into a clear vision...it's confusing I know but you gotta be in my head to understand..it's like my dreams and expectations of myself are extremely high but I don't feel like I'm getting any close to fulfilling them....Hell I'm probably the only sophomore who is already thinking about college and what college I want to go to......I'm think I may take post secondary as a junior cuz I know I will have good enough grades for it but then I think to myself "isn't that just adding more pressure to my life than the honors classes that I tend to complain about" it's like a bitch about them but when it gets down to the "nitty gritty" I know if I wasn't in those classes that school would be extremely easy for me and I wouldn't feel worthy of the grades I get knowing that I get them without a struggle...I don't know my mind has just been racing so much lately about what I want to accomplish and fulfill for myself, and my family because we have lost so much in the last four years and both my mom and dad deserve better then what they have and what they have to put up with. I guess I'm just too caring of a person..but that happens to be something I can't nor do I want to help.......