See, this is why I was never a rebel (and other personal shit)
For whatever reason, there are some thrift shops that manage to wiggle around the Sunday shopping restriction here, so Cass, Mike and I went to one today to finish getting costume pieces. Well, they got stuff for Halloween too; I haven't decided on that one yet. I hope he's grateful that I talked her into these super tight pleather pants, LOL. The girl does not own a pair of black pants - I couldn't believe it when she said that! I have eight freaking pairs. Obviously to dress up as Billie Joe, she needs black pants. The other ones we found there didn't fit, but while she wasn't overly comfortable with how tight the pleather ones were, they really looked awesome on her, and she can wear them for Twin Day too b/c Julie has similar ones. So 2 wears for $6 ain't bad, lol, and they have stretch in them so at least they're comfy physically!
Anyway, while we were there and poking around the costume stuff, I mentioned the one I'd had a few years ago: I went as a dragonfly. Made the wings, wore all black (longsleeved turtleneck and gloves too) and covered my face and the bit of exposed neck in black eyeshadow. I won second place; can't recall who got first. Regular greasepaint bothers me (shocking I know) so I'd just bought a couple of things of black shadow and a cheap blush brush to put it on. But I guess I'd forgotten that I was able to do that without it bothering my eyes the way any other kind of black makeup does. So after I dropped them off, I went by the drugstore and picked up some good black eyeshadow.
I put it on when I got home, pleasantly surprised that yes, in fact I do remember how to do the smoky eye thing, lol, and then went upstairs for dinner. Mom gave me this odd look when she saw me and I said, "Yeah, I know, I needed to be sure I still knew how to apply it this way." Her reply? "I think it looks awesome."
O_o Er, okay. Although I confess I kind of liked it myself, but for some reason that threw me, lol. But it goes back to when I first began to get into makeup, and since it wasn't her thing, my mom did an amazingly brilliant, forward-thinking thing and sent me to modelling school so that I could learn how to do it properly. And I wore a lot of makeup for a while then, before it dwindled into a more natural look in high school and beyond. It's funny to think, though, that the whole makeup thing is often some sort of rebellion and it so was never that for me, b/c my mom was like, okay go have fun. LOL. But it was like that for everything. The only real line to which I was required to stick was to keep my grades up. And while I could have rebelled by ignoring that, I had enough pride in my scholastic abilities that it was never a viable option to me. So really, how can you be a rebel when there's nothing to rebel against? lol
Speaking of modelling school, hopefully amongst the books I'm slowly unpacking now will be my portfolio. I took a photography class there too and ended up with a really nice portfolio of eight 8x10s in b&w, with a bunch of contact sheets in the back pages. It's weird to think now that there was an agency interested in me if I'd have agreed to lose 30 pounds. I weighed 125 at the time, and when my teacher told me I was like, do you know what I'd have to do to my body to get under 100lbs???? No thanks! It's very strange to come at that from the complete other side now, after having gained so much weight. I know what started that was going on the pill, but what continued it - or more precisely, didn't stop it - was depression. I couldn't adhere to most normal functioning and that included anything like exercising. Ultimately, though, it was about becoming invisible.
It sounds counter-intuitive, doesn't it? After all, how could anyone possibly miss the fat chick? But it's true. People's eyes tend to slide right past you when you're significantly overweight, and that was a reaction I welcomed. I'd had boys and men propositioning me since I was eleven years old and I was tired of it. I didn't want to interact with anyone. I didn't want any attention. So in that fogged state of mind, it was the most natural and logical thing in the world to just let it happen, and even help it along.
Of course, now that my head is clear and I don't really want to be invisible anymore, I'm a wee bit stuck. lol. And I can't seem to quite get myself motivated to do a whole hell of a lot about it even as I want to do so. Sort of like the school researching and the writing. Which is actually really pissing me off, but I can't quite reach through it and force myself to do something.
Blech. I think I need more hot chocolate, lol. At least I remembered that Grey's Anatomy is on tonight - I missed the premiere last week!
Anyway, while we were there and poking around the costume stuff, I mentioned the one I'd had a few years ago: I went as a dragonfly. Made the wings, wore all black (longsleeved turtleneck and gloves too) and covered my face and the bit of exposed neck in black eyeshadow. I won second place; can't recall who got first. Regular greasepaint bothers me (shocking I know) so I'd just bought a couple of things of black shadow and a cheap blush brush to put it on. But I guess I'd forgotten that I was able to do that without it bothering my eyes the way any other kind of black makeup does. So after I dropped them off, I went by the drugstore and picked up some good black eyeshadow.
I put it on when I got home, pleasantly surprised that yes, in fact I do remember how to do the smoky eye thing, lol, and then went upstairs for dinner. Mom gave me this odd look when she saw me and I said, "Yeah, I know, I needed to be sure I still knew how to apply it this way." Her reply? "I think it looks awesome."
O_o Er, okay. Although I confess I kind of liked it myself, but for some reason that threw me, lol. But it goes back to when I first began to get into makeup, and since it wasn't her thing, my mom did an amazingly brilliant, forward-thinking thing and sent me to modelling school so that I could learn how to do it properly. And I wore a lot of makeup for a while then, before it dwindled into a more natural look in high school and beyond. It's funny to think, though, that the whole makeup thing is often some sort of rebellion and it so was never that for me, b/c my mom was like, okay go have fun. LOL. But it was like that for everything. The only real line to which I was required to stick was to keep my grades up. And while I could have rebelled by ignoring that, I had enough pride in my scholastic abilities that it was never a viable option to me. So really, how can you be a rebel when there's nothing to rebel against? lol
Speaking of modelling school, hopefully amongst the books I'm slowly unpacking now will be my portfolio. I took a photography class there too and ended up with a really nice portfolio of eight 8x10s in b&w, with a bunch of contact sheets in the back pages. It's weird to think now that there was an agency interested in me if I'd have agreed to lose 30 pounds. I weighed 125 at the time, and when my teacher told me I was like, do you know what I'd have to do to my body to get under 100lbs???? No thanks! It's very strange to come at that from the complete other side now, after having gained so much weight. I know what started that was going on the pill, but what continued it - or more precisely, didn't stop it - was depression. I couldn't adhere to most normal functioning and that included anything like exercising. Ultimately, though, it was about becoming invisible.
It sounds counter-intuitive, doesn't it? After all, how could anyone possibly miss the fat chick? But it's true. People's eyes tend to slide right past you when you're significantly overweight, and that was a reaction I welcomed. I'd had boys and men propositioning me since I was eleven years old and I was tired of it. I didn't want to interact with anyone. I didn't want any attention. So in that fogged state of mind, it was the most natural and logical thing in the world to just let it happen, and even help it along.
Of course, now that my head is clear and I don't really want to be invisible anymore, I'm a wee bit stuck. lol. And I can't seem to quite get myself motivated to do a whole hell of a lot about it even as I want to do so. Sort of like the school researching and the writing. Which is actually really pissing me off, but I can't quite reach through it and force myself to do something.
Blech. I think I need more hot chocolate, lol. At least I remembered that Grey's Anatomy is on tonight - I missed the premiere last week!