Belated New Year's sentiments
Traditionally when the year is drawing to an end I take some time to myself to reflect back on everything and write about it. Surprisingly I've been really busy though and haven't had the appropriate time to do that yet. 2014 was one of the best and worst years of my life. I had an amazing experience in university. I wasn't prepared for it to be over. I'm still not prepared. Graduating was not what I expected it to be.
I had a lot of firsts. I tried online dating for the fiirst time. I had my first sexual experience. That ended up quickly turning into multiple sexual experiences. And all with people that I ended up feeling didn't really think I was good enough for anything more than that. I lost a lot of confidence in myself.
But I did say that 2014 was also one of my best years. There were plenty of good firsts. I visited another province in Canada for the first time (Montreal). I got my first smart phone at the beginning of the year. I had made an instagram account when I got my new phone and right now all the pictures on it are from 2014. At a glance, it's really so remarkable to believe that I got to be a part of all that. And I know that there was so much more I was a part of that wasn't documented in photos. I am so truly grateful.
As for 2015, it just kind of knocked itself into me as if it were a person twice my size in a crowd full of people rushing in opposing directions. So far I'm not going in the direction that I want to go in. I could settle for going in whichever direction the (very rude and inconsiderate) anthropomorphized 2015 knocked me in. Or I could stand back up like the intelligent and capable woman I once believed myself to be and take the steps towards walking the direction that will make me closer to where I actually want to be.
I'll leave you now with the wise words of Amanda circa 2013:
Here's to a new year of ups and downs and sideways and everything in between. It's kind of unfortunate though how everyone only waits to celebrate the possibilities of change after a whole year has passed. What about Happy New Month or Happy New Week or even Happy New Day? Any time can be a time for change.
I had a lot of firsts. I tried online dating for the fiirst time. I had my first sexual experience. That ended up quickly turning into multiple sexual experiences. And all with people that I ended up feeling didn't really think I was good enough for anything more than that. I lost a lot of confidence in myself.
But I did say that 2014 was also one of my best years. There were plenty of good firsts. I visited another province in Canada for the first time (Montreal). I got my first smart phone at the beginning of the year. I had made an instagram account when I got my new phone and right now all the pictures on it are from 2014. At a glance, it's really so remarkable to believe that I got to be a part of all that. And I know that there was so much more I was a part of that wasn't documented in photos. I am so truly grateful.
As for 2015, it just kind of knocked itself into me as if it were a person twice my size in a crowd full of people rushing in opposing directions. So far I'm not going in the direction that I want to go in. I could settle for going in whichever direction the (very rude and inconsiderate) anthropomorphized 2015 knocked me in. Or I could stand back up like the intelligent and capable woman I once believed myself to be and take the steps towards walking the direction that will make me closer to where I actually want to be.
I'll leave you now with the wise words of Amanda circa 2013:
Here's to a new year of ups and downs and sideways and everything in between. It's kind of unfortunate though how everyone only waits to celebrate the possibilities of change after a whole year has passed. What about Happy New Month or Happy New Week or even Happy New Day? Any time can be a time for change.