(no subject)
i signed up for myspace.com a few days ago. that thing is pretty crazy, cause its so easy to find people you haven't thought about in forever. you find one old friend, then through them another. everyone's connected. anyway, why does he still have this effect on me? just looking at his picture brings back even more than i was already thinking. if things had just gone down a little differently. the last year or so would have been completely different. i don't know what would have been, but it drives me crazy thinking about it, wondering. i try never to have any regret about anything, everything is a learning experience. but what can i do now? do things that are supposed to work out just work themselves out no matter what, or do we have to do something to make it happen?
i just know i hate where i am right now. still not really having any idea what to do next to make it better. i have no confidence when it comes to thinks like this. its so hard for me to break my habits because its so much easier to keep going along with where i am and not make the changes to better my life. i give the impression that i'm set for life because i have a career and i can manage money. but i truly have no idea what it is i want in life or what will bring me happiness. i thought i knew for a while, but people change. i just know i need something different. i am not satisfied with the mediocre. and maybe thats my problem. i know nothing can ever be perfect, but it needs to get better than this.
i just know i hate where i am right now. still not really having any idea what to do next to make it better. i have no confidence when it comes to thinks like this. its so hard for me to break my habits because its so much easier to keep going along with where i am and not make the changes to better my life. i give the impression that i'm set for life because i have a career and i can manage money. but i truly have no idea what it is i want in life or what will bring me happiness. i thought i knew for a while, but people change. i just know i need something different. i am not satisfied with the mediocre. and maybe thats my problem. i know nothing can ever be perfect, but it needs to get better than this.