(no subject)
i can't even express how much better i've felt mentally lately. things finally seem to be going in the right direction. it really helps having the house less cluttered. with less things and less people. less people means more space, and rearranging and renovating is very therapeutic to me. things being in disorder makes me feel mentally ill for some reason.
i started redoing the middle room since that's no one's room anymore. did 2 walls magenta and 2 walls black. i love it so far, but we're planning on doing some multicolored dots and possibly stars and hearts if that's not too difficult as well.
some people are surprising me in good ways. i'm really happy that mike is in a good place mentally, physically, and financially now so that he's able to treat heather the way she deserves to be treated. he wasn't happy with himself before, and that affected their relationship. there have been some pretty drastic changes and i just hope it stays that way because i really want to see her stay happy.
things are starting to fall into place for richie too. a lot of people forget that he's only 20 and they forget what it was like to be at that point in your life where you're not sure what direction is best for you. i've been very proud of him lately and he's been super helpful to me.
on the other hand, there's a few people that i'm not sure will ever get their shit together no matter their potential. one person in particular, who i was very close to for a long time, has been out of my life lately and i can't say that's a bad thing. he's changed so much that he's no longer the person i knew. or maybe he is but i didn't see that side before. it really sucks when you reach out to a friend because you know they have a problem (no matter how much they try to hide it from you) and they just deny it or shrug it off. if you can't even admit your problems, how am i supposed to be a friend and help you? so i give up. as much as he preached that "real friends are most important" it's back to drugs being #1 and the loser aquaintences that come with that. i just can't be around it. i can't sit back and watch someone do something destructive to themselves, try and tell the person it's not good, only for them to yell at you about how you don't know what you're talking about. and it's insulting to me for him to basically lie and deny what i know to be true, that's saying he thinks i'm naive and must not value our friendship much to resort to lying to me just to save face. everyone knows about his addictions and disorders no matter how much he denies them. now the only time i've heard from him in the past 2 weeks is a text asking to borrow money (what could that be for, hmmm i wonder?). it just pisses me off. he could be so much more, he could be RICH and he could have everything he wants, if he just had any self control. i miss the side of him i used to know. i just know that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, and a person has got to want to change for it ever to happen. so i refuse to waste my energy. i want to surround myself with only positive people.
i started redoing the middle room since that's no one's room anymore. did 2 walls magenta and 2 walls black. i love it so far, but we're planning on doing some multicolored dots and possibly stars and hearts if that's not too difficult as well.
some people are surprising me in good ways. i'm really happy that mike is in a good place mentally, physically, and financially now so that he's able to treat heather the way she deserves to be treated. he wasn't happy with himself before, and that affected their relationship. there have been some pretty drastic changes and i just hope it stays that way because i really want to see her stay happy.
things are starting to fall into place for richie too. a lot of people forget that he's only 20 and they forget what it was like to be at that point in your life where you're not sure what direction is best for you. i've been very proud of him lately and he's been super helpful to me.
on the other hand, there's a few people that i'm not sure will ever get their shit together no matter their potential. one person in particular, who i was very close to for a long time, has been out of my life lately and i can't say that's a bad thing. he's changed so much that he's no longer the person i knew. or maybe he is but i didn't see that side before. it really sucks when you reach out to a friend because you know they have a problem (no matter how much they try to hide it from you) and they just deny it or shrug it off. if you can't even admit your problems, how am i supposed to be a friend and help you? so i give up. as much as he preached that "real friends are most important" it's back to drugs being #1 and the loser aquaintences that come with that. i just can't be around it. i can't sit back and watch someone do something destructive to themselves, try and tell the person it's not good, only for them to yell at you about how you don't know what you're talking about. and it's insulting to me for him to basically lie and deny what i know to be true, that's saying he thinks i'm naive and must not value our friendship much to resort to lying to me just to save face. everyone knows about his addictions and disorders no matter how much he denies them. now the only time i've heard from him in the past 2 weeks is a text asking to borrow money (what could that be for, hmmm i wonder?). it just pisses me off. he could be so much more, he could be RICH and he could have everything he wants, if he just had any self control. i miss the side of him i used to know. i just know that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, and a person has got to want to change for it ever to happen. so i refuse to waste my energy. i want to surround myself with only positive people.