a true story
pasted from my myspace
my life is full of stories no one believes.
So I guess this goes back to last may. I came home from work one day and someone had stolen my dog. FUCK. I know who would come in a house and take a dog and nothing else. Really I have no clue. But it happened and I never got her back. Okay so awhile passes. Come to about January of this year Jess, David and I wake up to go to work and get in the car at 530 am. hmmm the seat seems weird hmmm there is no gas in the car but last night there was gas hmmmm where the fuck is my wallet. So someone stole my wallet, my red lobster apron and a pill bottle that I had holding my piercing balls and stuff. FUCK. Only my stuff. I mean they didnt take the 2 ipods or 3 cell phones only my shit. Fuck you. whatever well you can get all of that stuff reissued. A few weeks pass by. Those who know me know I dont drive really. Im a bad driver and have bad vision so its for the better BUT I have a car anyway. Good ol freedom train hedwig yitsak dream weaver bessy. She has a few foibles. Shes a purple 1998 Neon with no passenger side mirror a few liverspots and a few dents (cough cough shes made of styrofoam) Anyway I love her just the same. She sits around the parking lot at my complex alot since I dont drive but one day I had a meeting at work and decided to drive her. So as Im getting home I go to park and it will only go into drive or neutral. FUCK. So I put her in drive pull the emergency break and turn her off. Well since she wont go into park the key wont come out of the ignition. It was the only thing I could think to do. That was saturday. So come monday night Christina and Nelson come to pick me up from work. We pull into the parking lot and see shes gone. No joke just gone. FUCK. Now remember in order to steal her someone would have had to turn the car on put it in neutral and push the car out of the spot then get in and drive off. So the cop comes fills out a report blah blah. About a week later Jessie was shopping and I was dropped off from work. He was on his way home to get me to go with him and at about 4 in the afternoon he pulls into the complex and low and behold there she is driving out! So Jess swerves around and the guy driving her notices and turns around and DRIVES BACK into the complex. Now there is only one entrance and exit. Jess calls the cops and waits at the gate to makes sure he doesnt leave.Which he doesnt he drives it to the back corner and runs. They come and there is a helicoptor and dog. The dog was on his trail but got distracted by another dog so they called it off and I get my car back. I look inside and see he kinda cleaned it. He took out and put together and FLEW my kite (wtf) but most importantly fixed my car. Good and bad. because since he fixed it he had the key to it. So I grab my spare and drive her home. (3 buildings over) So you think it ends there. Nope. So about a week later im sitting at my house thinking about taking a nap and Christina calls and the conversation went like this.
Christina: hey where are you?
me: home why whats up?
Christina: No really, where are you?
me: Really Im at home on my bed
Christina: Oh well your car is at Wachovia.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really this is my life. So I call the cops again. wait for almost 2 hours for them to show (hey I know they are busy people) When the cops shows up he was one of the ones there the last time I found my car. He proceeds to tell me he doesnt believe me and that it seems swirly. Yes thats right officer I steal my car tell, you where it is cause I think its funny riiiiiiiiiiiiight. So he drives Jess and I over to the wachovia to pick it up. We get in and it wont start. FUCK. Jess says uh it wont start and he says "Well I dont know what to tell you" and gets in his car and drives off. Wtf. Any way she is back home now. And this time I bought her a club (well not the club™ the generic version called the fortress). As of last night she is still safe and sound but who knows. Avalon Park is definately not all its cracked up to be. This is my life all I can do is laugh.
my life is full of stories no one believes.
So I guess this goes back to last may. I came home from work one day and someone had stolen my dog. FUCK. I know who would come in a house and take a dog and nothing else. Really I have no clue. But it happened and I never got her back. Okay so awhile passes. Come to about January of this year Jess, David and I wake up to go to work and get in the car at 530 am. hmmm the seat seems weird hmmm there is no gas in the car but last night there was gas hmmmm where the fuck is my wallet. So someone stole my wallet, my red lobster apron and a pill bottle that I had holding my piercing balls and stuff. FUCK. Only my stuff. I mean they didnt take the 2 ipods or 3 cell phones only my shit. Fuck you. whatever well you can get all of that stuff reissued. A few weeks pass by. Those who know me know I dont drive really. Im a bad driver and have bad vision so its for the better BUT I have a car anyway. Good ol freedom train hedwig yitsak dream weaver bessy. She has a few foibles. Shes a purple 1998 Neon with no passenger side mirror a few liverspots and a few dents (cough cough shes made of styrofoam) Anyway I love her just the same. She sits around the parking lot at my complex alot since I dont drive but one day I had a meeting at work and decided to drive her. So as Im getting home I go to park and it will only go into drive or neutral. FUCK. So I put her in drive pull the emergency break and turn her off. Well since she wont go into park the key wont come out of the ignition. It was the only thing I could think to do. That was saturday. So come monday night Christina and Nelson come to pick me up from work. We pull into the parking lot and see shes gone. No joke just gone. FUCK. Now remember in order to steal her someone would have had to turn the car on put it in neutral and push the car out of the spot then get in and drive off. So the cop comes fills out a report blah blah. About a week later Jessie was shopping and I was dropped off from work. He was on his way home to get me to go with him and at about 4 in the afternoon he pulls into the complex and low and behold there she is driving out! So Jess swerves around and the guy driving her notices and turns around and DRIVES BACK into the complex. Now there is only one entrance and exit. Jess calls the cops and waits at the gate to makes sure he doesnt leave.Which he doesnt he drives it to the back corner and runs. They come and there is a helicoptor and dog. The dog was on his trail but got distracted by another dog so they called it off and I get my car back. I look inside and see he kinda cleaned it. He took out and put together and FLEW my kite (wtf) but most importantly fixed my car. Good and bad. because since he fixed it he had the key to it. So I grab my spare and drive her home. (3 buildings over) So you think it ends there. Nope. So about a week later im sitting at my house thinking about taking a nap and Christina calls and the conversation went like this.
Christina: hey where are you?
me: home why whats up?
Christina: No really, where are you?
me: Really Im at home on my bed
Christina: Oh well your car is at Wachovia.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really this is my life. So I call the cops again. wait for almost 2 hours for them to show (hey I know they are busy people) When the cops shows up he was one of the ones there the last time I found my car. He proceeds to tell me he doesnt believe me and that it seems swirly. Yes thats right officer I steal my car tell, you where it is cause I think its funny riiiiiiiiiiiiight. So he drives Jess and I over to the wachovia to pick it up. We get in and it wont start. FUCK. Jess says uh it wont start and he says "Well I dont know what to tell you" and gets in his car and drives off. Wtf. Any way she is back home now. And this time I bought her a club (well not the club™ the generic version called the fortress). As of last night she is still safe and sound but who knows. Avalon Park is definately not all its cracked up to be. This is my life all I can do is laugh.