So, I just had a random thought. That thought is that the idea of 'sparing someone's feelings' by not being blunt about something difficult is inherently a selfish thing
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I am being deliberately confrontational in my choice of language. That being said, the only altruistic reasoning I have seen for this course of action is that the party being told is substantially emotionally fragile. I do not think that this is the general case. If the motivation is not altruistic, it is instead selfish to a lesser or greater degree.
For the record though, I actually have less problem with someone being honestly selfish, cowardly or indifferent than I do with someone pretending to be falsely altruistic. I am specifically only talking about the situation which you have accepted as immoral.
I really can't think of a time where I have disrespected someone for telling me a hard truth. Often its hurt, but the people who have been willing to do that I have usually developed long term friendships with. Trust is a very important element to my life and my friendships.
I have not suggested that anyone has the right to expect to be told everything for their own good. But, if someone has an investment in a situation and is asking for more information; I am hard pressed to think of a truly altruistic reason why they shouldn't be told.
'You should be able to work that out for yourself' is a similarly conceited justification. Different people are exposed to different levels of deceit through their lives; unfortunately of course, its often the people who are more familiar with deceit that are less willing to be truthful about it. I would venture that by being truthful about a situation, people are better able to learn from it as they are able to identify the previously unspoken of behaviour with a concrete end. Of course, you don't *need* to help them learn, but that is a selfish motivation again.
That said, selfishness is not always bad and altruism is not always good. Even if the commonly programmed moral compass would suggest that.
For the record though, I actually have less problem with someone being honestly selfish, cowardly or indifferent than I do with someone pretending to be falsely altruistic. I am specifically only talking about the situation which you have accepted as immoral.
I really can't think of a time where I have disrespected someone for telling me a hard truth. Often its hurt, but the people who have been willing to do that I have usually developed long term friendships with. Trust is a very important element to my life and my friendships.
I have not suggested that anyone has the right to expect to be told everything for their own good. But, if someone has an investment in a situation and is asking for more information; I am hard pressed to think of a truly altruistic reason why they shouldn't be told.
'You should be able to work that out for yourself' is a similarly conceited justification. Different people are exposed to different levels of deceit through their lives; unfortunately of course, its often the people who are more familiar with deceit that are less willing to be truthful about it. I would venture that by being truthful about a situation, people are better able to learn from it as they are able to identify the previously unspoken of behaviour with a concrete end. Of course, you don't *need* to help them learn, but that is a selfish motivation again.
That said, selfishness is not always bad and altruism is not always good. Even if the commonly programmed moral compass would suggest that.
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