Ficlet: Scenes from a Hat (Hawaii 5-0, SGA)
Scenes from a Hat:
One of my favourite ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’ games was/is - Scenes from a Hat. I am kinda blocked in my big bang with the looming deadline, so I have tried getting the creative juices flowing with getting at least ‘something’ out there.
Here are two ‘Scenes’ from my Hawaii 5-0 ‘Hat’
(not beta read and maybe crossed over with SPN?)
------------------------------------------
So, it turned out Hawaii wasn’t so bad. Yes, it was the kinda hot Hell aspired to reach, there was sand, and tourists everywhere and you couldn’t find a decent slice of pastrami on the island that didn’t cost more than his first car. But in Danny’s revised opinion (version 23.i) Hawaii wasn’t too bad.
That was right up until the morning he woke up dead.
To be fair: undead.
But it was still dead, technically, as in he wasn’t breathing.
Even though it wasn’t ‘entirely’ Steve McGarrett’s fault, it was 99% his fault and therefore the first thing on his ‘undead’ to do list was to kill Steve. The rest of the list was kinda vague after that and probably involved a lot of self-loathing and brooding, and or wholesale slaughter of innocents, all depending on what type of vampire he was.
Danny was rooting on the wholesale slaughter, as he didn’t really have the forehead or personality for brooding.
“No, but you sure do sulk with the best.”
“One more remark like that, and I’m ripping out your jugular, Steven.”
McGarrett had a basement, a nice, cool, discrete basement where newly turned vamps could brood, er… sulk in peace while their soon to be dead partners rooted around in hither unknown, uber-secret Scooby labs slash panic rooms. A room with a lot of crucifixes, swords and daggers - not to mention the dusty old tomes currently been searched with genuine extreme worry.
The 1% of this situation that was Danny’s fault was all due to a raging libido and someone he had known was out of his league. Or a hot blonde vampire on holiday looking for a snack. Legs up to her eyeballs, lips dark and inviting. Bottomless black eyes. It all should have been a clue. ‘Danger, Danny Williams, Danger!’
“Ah, ha!” Steve had that excited puppy look, the one he got when he reached a conclusion first or found a perp before anyone else. The ‘I r smart and I found it’ look. He slammed a massive book onto the old table, shoved aside a few bottles of mysterious ilk and jabbed a finger at the page. “There’s a cure!”
“Great,” Danny sighed, “just great.” The relief was only secondary in nature because of the raging hunger burning through him, a hunger fueled by the pounding beat of Steve’s heart pumping thick, red, delicious blood through his body, so close to the skin, Danny could smell it.
Steve was rummaging in a few boxes and pulling out more bottles and sharp smelling herbs. “Kay, we’ve got everything we need. Just need the key ingredient and we’ll sort you out.”
“Oh, yeah, you can sort me out,” Danny sighed, but shoved aside the urgent need to feed, stood and clapped his hands together. “Right, whats the key ingredient?”
From below the desk, Steve ‘ahhhhed’ and then mumbled, “The blood of your sire.”
Danny could almost hear the ‘say what’ he wanted to scream, but since the word ‘blood’ and Steve’s exposed back had him drooling and his frigging canine teeth actually started to grow… Danny swallowed and snapped, “Then lets hunt the very literal maneater down and gank her!”
Steve jumped, a ridiculous smile on his face, something trying for levity but actually freaked, and slammed several stakes and silver knives on the table. “You got it, Danno.”
Pointing a long, decidedly pale finger at Steve, Danny hissed, “Today is not the day, Steven. Not the day!” McGarrett actually looked embarrassed and Danny couldn’t help take pity on him, or maybe it was all a ruse to lure Steve closer so he could bite him … maybe both.
“So, do you actually know how to use those? I mean, besides the basics from Lesley Nielsen movies?” Danny sighed, pointing at the vampire hunting paraphernalia Steve was collecting and putting into a duffle.
“Well,” Steve hummed, “Sort of. Mom was kinda retired, as much as a slayer could be, but she showed me a few things.”
“And like the good little future-Seal, you paid attention,” Danny quipped, motioning for Steve to get a move on. He really starting to smell irresistible. McGarrett nodded, “Yeah, and ‘cos Mom thought Mary might be a slayer too, we both got a crash course one summer. Then she died and nothing happened with Mary and well…”
“Your Dad locked the door.”
Steve was staring at the room like it was fifteen years ago and he was sometime ‘else’. “Yeah, something like that,” Steve sighed before snapping back to the here and very urgent now. Smiling that damn reassuring ‘I’m a damn Super-SEAL’ smile, Steve tossed the duffle onto his shoulder and said, “Lets go.”
Danny though paused, mouth full of salvia and said, “I wanna say something classic and cliché, but shit if I can think of a single classic vampire hunting line.”
“Bite me?”
“No, hunting, not inviting!”
“Oh, sorry.”
*
Buzzzzzzer
*
Danny wasn’t entirely certain how he had ended up here. There had been a lot of confusion and running around after suspects with the freaky ability to just … disappear. And then there were all the phonecalls to Marine buddies and Special Forces colleagues and Steve looking all big-eyed and pissed off. Kono had been surprisingly calm about the whole thing, while Chin had actually had a mild panic attack at some point. Steve had gotten all tough and flinty eyed, like he was going glare the world back into making sense.
Danny had just gone along for the ride, because hey, aliens were real.
And that was awesome.
But that sure as hell did not explain how it all lead to him, Det. Danny Williams, homicide cop from Jersey and task force team member from Hawaii, standing the cold war missile silo reject basement in front of a friggin glowing portal to the stars.
No, no way in hell.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Kono smiled, decked out in camo and tactical vest.
Danny shook his head, “You’re too young to get the reference, but we’re the red shirts here. The ones with a big bullseye on our backs. We step through that portal and we’re toast.”
“StarGate,” Steve corrected, and Danny pointing an impolite finger at him.
“Shut up. All your fault.”
Chin was staring at everything, eyes wide, mouth open, like he was waiting for the strings to be revealed, the cameramen to step out and wave, for the Jerry Springer voice over. But he also had his shot gun and a matching camo uniform slash tac vest. Steve fit right in and was getting a kick out of Danny not being able to wear a tie. Danny was wondering why in the hell ‘they’ had to accompany SG1 anywhere at all! What was the use of having 'allies' and 'contacts' if they wouldn't go do your dirty work?
“You guys ready to go?”
Ah, Colonel Cameron Mitchell, their tour guide and babysitter, looking decidedly like the cat that ate the canary and got the dog put down for it. Steve and Kono nodded, eager little beavers. Chin gulped, hands clutching at his shotgun.
“Lets head out then,” Mitchell drawled and strolled up the ramp towards the rippling cool special water effects. Danny half expected for him to step through and land on the otherside, and faceplant into the cement floor. But he didn’t.
Crap, crap, crap.
Steve grinned at Kono, who twined his evil grin of glee, and they ran up the ramp after Mitchell.
Danny snagged the front of Chin’s vest and hauled him up the ramp, “Come on, Ho Kelly, I’m not going to an alien world with Steve Lightyear and Kono Kirk without you.” Chin squeaked in protest but Danny was unmoved.
Never let it be said that Danny Williams was not prepared to go to the ends of the universe to collar a suspect.
*
One of my favourite ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’ games was/is - Scenes from a Hat. I am kinda blocked in my big bang with the looming deadline, so I have tried getting the creative juices flowing with getting at least ‘something’ out there.
Here are two ‘Scenes’ from my Hawaii 5-0 ‘Hat’
(not beta read and maybe crossed over with SPN?)
------------------------------------------
So, it turned out Hawaii wasn’t so bad. Yes, it was the kinda hot Hell aspired to reach, there was sand, and tourists everywhere and you couldn’t find a decent slice of pastrami on the island that didn’t cost more than his first car. But in Danny’s revised opinion (version 23.i) Hawaii wasn’t too bad.
That was right up until the morning he woke up dead.
To be fair: undead.
But it was still dead, technically, as in he wasn’t breathing.
Even though it wasn’t ‘entirely’ Steve McGarrett’s fault, it was 99% his fault and therefore the first thing on his ‘undead’ to do list was to kill Steve. The rest of the list was kinda vague after that and probably involved a lot of self-loathing and brooding, and or wholesale slaughter of innocents, all depending on what type of vampire he was.
Danny was rooting on the wholesale slaughter, as he didn’t really have the forehead or personality for brooding.
“No, but you sure do sulk with the best.”
“One more remark like that, and I’m ripping out your jugular, Steven.”
McGarrett had a basement, a nice, cool, discrete basement where newly turned vamps could brood, er… sulk in peace while their soon to be dead partners rooted around in hither unknown, uber-secret Scooby labs slash panic rooms. A room with a lot of crucifixes, swords and daggers - not to mention the dusty old tomes currently been searched with genuine extreme worry.
The 1% of this situation that was Danny’s fault was all due to a raging libido and someone he had known was out of his league. Or a hot blonde vampire on holiday looking for a snack. Legs up to her eyeballs, lips dark and inviting. Bottomless black eyes. It all should have been a clue. ‘Danger, Danny Williams, Danger!’
“Ah, ha!” Steve had that excited puppy look, the one he got when he reached a conclusion first or found a perp before anyone else. The ‘I r smart and I found it’ look. He slammed a massive book onto the old table, shoved aside a few bottles of mysterious ilk and jabbed a finger at the page. “There’s a cure!”
“Great,” Danny sighed, “just great.” The relief was only secondary in nature because of the raging hunger burning through him, a hunger fueled by the pounding beat of Steve’s heart pumping thick, red, delicious blood through his body, so close to the skin, Danny could smell it.
Steve was rummaging in a few boxes and pulling out more bottles and sharp smelling herbs. “Kay, we’ve got everything we need. Just need the key ingredient and we’ll sort you out.”
“Oh, yeah, you can sort me out,” Danny sighed, but shoved aside the urgent need to feed, stood and clapped his hands together. “Right, whats the key ingredient?”
From below the desk, Steve ‘ahhhhed’ and then mumbled, “The blood of your sire.”
Danny could almost hear the ‘say what’ he wanted to scream, but since the word ‘blood’ and Steve’s exposed back had him drooling and his frigging canine teeth actually started to grow… Danny swallowed and snapped, “Then lets hunt the very literal maneater down and gank her!”
Steve jumped, a ridiculous smile on his face, something trying for levity but actually freaked, and slammed several stakes and silver knives on the table. “You got it, Danno.”
Pointing a long, decidedly pale finger at Steve, Danny hissed, “Today is not the day, Steven. Not the day!” McGarrett actually looked embarrassed and Danny couldn’t help take pity on him, or maybe it was all a ruse to lure Steve closer so he could bite him … maybe both.
“So, do you actually know how to use those? I mean, besides the basics from Lesley Nielsen movies?” Danny sighed, pointing at the vampire hunting paraphernalia Steve was collecting and putting into a duffle.
“Well,” Steve hummed, “Sort of. Mom was kinda retired, as much as a slayer could be, but she showed me a few things.”
“And like the good little future-Seal, you paid attention,” Danny quipped, motioning for Steve to get a move on. He really starting to smell irresistible. McGarrett nodded, “Yeah, and ‘cos Mom thought Mary might be a slayer too, we both got a crash course one summer. Then she died and nothing happened with Mary and well…”
“Your Dad locked the door.”
Steve was staring at the room like it was fifteen years ago and he was sometime ‘else’. “Yeah, something like that,” Steve sighed before snapping back to the here and very urgent now. Smiling that damn reassuring ‘I’m a damn Super-SEAL’ smile, Steve tossed the duffle onto his shoulder and said, “Lets go.”
Danny though paused, mouth full of salvia and said, “I wanna say something classic and cliché, but shit if I can think of a single classic vampire hunting line.”
“Bite me?”
“No, hunting, not inviting!”
“Oh, sorry.”
*
Buzzzzzzer
*
Danny wasn’t entirely certain how he had ended up here. There had been a lot of confusion and running around after suspects with the freaky ability to just … disappear. And then there were all the phonecalls to Marine buddies and Special Forces colleagues and Steve looking all big-eyed and pissed off. Kono had been surprisingly calm about the whole thing, while Chin had actually had a mild panic attack at some point. Steve had gotten all tough and flinty eyed, like he was going glare the world back into making sense.
Danny had just gone along for the ride, because hey, aliens were real.
And that was awesome.
But that sure as hell did not explain how it all lead to him, Det. Danny Williams, homicide cop from Jersey and task force team member from Hawaii, standing the cold war missile silo reject basement in front of a friggin glowing portal to the stars.
No, no way in hell.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Kono smiled, decked out in camo and tactical vest.
Danny shook his head, “You’re too young to get the reference, but we’re the red shirts here. The ones with a big bullseye on our backs. We step through that portal and we’re toast.”
“StarGate,” Steve corrected, and Danny pointing an impolite finger at him.
“Shut up. All your fault.”
Chin was staring at everything, eyes wide, mouth open, like he was waiting for the strings to be revealed, the cameramen to step out and wave, for the Jerry Springer voice over. But he also had his shot gun and a matching camo uniform slash tac vest. Steve fit right in and was getting a kick out of Danny not being able to wear a tie. Danny was wondering why in the hell ‘they’ had to accompany SG1 anywhere at all! What was the use of having 'allies' and 'contacts' if they wouldn't go do your dirty work?
“You guys ready to go?”
Ah, Colonel Cameron Mitchell, their tour guide and babysitter, looking decidedly like the cat that ate the canary and got the dog put down for it. Steve and Kono nodded, eager little beavers. Chin gulped, hands clutching at his shotgun.
“Lets head out then,” Mitchell drawled and strolled up the ramp towards the rippling cool special water effects. Danny half expected for him to step through and land on the otherside, and faceplant into the cement floor. But he didn’t.
Crap, crap, crap.
Steve grinned at Kono, who twined his evil grin of glee, and they ran up the ramp after Mitchell.
Danny snagged the front of Chin’s vest and hauled him up the ramp, “Come on, Ho Kelly, I’m not going to an alien world with Steve Lightyear and Kono Kirk without you.” Chin squeaked in protest but Danny was unmoved.
Never let it be said that Danny Williams was not prepared to go to the ends of the universe to collar a suspect.
*